Pick'em Leagues: THE BIG SHOW CASUAL BEST OF THE REST Single Event PvP: FANTASY POOLS Betting Leagues: THE BIG SHOW BEST OF THE REST

If you were given a shot to fight in the UFC...

Print  
  Page 1 of 3     1     2     3  
Posted By Message

AchillesHeel

Heavyweight Champ

AchillesHeel Avatar
2

 
 
 


 
 
Posts:3,108
Career:845-448
Joined:Feb 2007
Chips:
603
Dana White calls you up and offers you a chance to step into the Octagon. Not the ideal you, not the you-if-you-were-an-MMA-pro, the real you. The pasty, out-of-shape, spends-too-much-time-in-front-of-a-computer you. The you who maybe studied karate or played football as a kid. The you that goes to the gym once or twice a week, if you have the time.

1. You have three months to get ready, and can train full-time.

2. You can choose an existing MMA gym or training partners to train with.

3. You can choose your opponent, but you have to be able to make weight.

4. Tell us how badly you lose, and how it goes down.

Post #1   7/17/07 10:38:59AM   

MisFiT

In Full Mount

 
 
 


 
 
Posts:636
Career:33-24
Joined:Mar 2007
Chips:
27
Only thing is I wouldnt lose and I'm not lame enough to not try and be dedicated to it. So I guess this thread aint for me.

Post #2   7/17/07 10:53:39AM   

fullerene

MMA Sensei

fullerene Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:1,172
Career:1,573-965
Joined:May 2007
Camp: War Room Warriors
Chips:
246
I'm not that out of shape now, so maybe I'm cheating a bit. But even so, I'd like two things to happen ideally:
1) I would cut the 5 pounds to make WW instead of the 20 to make LW (which I could make if I really had to). Just like running, lifting weights or any other strain on your body, cutting weight takes some getting used to and without having done it for 2 years now, I don't know how I'd react to a dramatic cut, physically or mentally.
2) The ideal opponent would be someone physically weaker than me with weaker takedowns, preferablly a straight BJJ guy. In that way I'd at least have a chance of keeping the fight standing or going to the ground depending on how the first few minutes went (if I made it that long). Plus getting subbed is quick and (almost) painless. Worst case is a guy like Matt Hughes who can hold top position and pound on you.

How it goes down? If it's my ideal opponent I don't think I get KOd (never have been) and probably don't get taken down right away. We circle and throw some techniques with me finding him tougher to hit than I expected and me getting hit more than I want but not hurt...yet. After about a minute and a half I start to realized that jumping rope and hitting a heavy bag for 12 rounds is a lot easier than fighting with your nerves dancing up and down for 1. I start to get nervous and then start to get tired and then start to get hit more.

I realize I'm going to gas and lose about half way through (and I'm wondering how this happened when I was doing so well sparring throughout training camp) so I tie up during the next exchange and try to pummel in for a body lock...goes well. I drop my hips and try a throw...goes well. Given that the last two steps went so well, I figure I'm going to catch a break, land in side control and maybe coast to winning the round. But something funny happens during the fall to the ground and I find his legs wrapped around my upper body. I assume it's a triangle and jerk my posture back only to have the arm bar sunk in. I tap, wondering how a move I've practicing against over and over again worked so easily when performed by a guy at my opponent's level. Reviewing the tape later in the week I start to realize that everything worked a little bit better for him--and worse for me--than I was expecting in training campl



BTW, I'm taking this question as a pure hypothetical--I'm not trying to say I could fight at the UFC level even against my "ideal" opponent.

Post #3   7/17/07 10:57:58AM   

Taylor8766

Belt Contender

Taylor8766 Avatar
2

 
 
 


 
 
Posts:942
Career:740-512
Joined:Jun 2007
Camp: East Coast Pitbulls
Chips:
42
I would love to fight Wanderlei Silva so I could kick his ass

Post #4   7/17/07 11:05:06AM   

AchillesHeel

Heavyweight Champ

AchillesHeel Avatar
2

 
 
 


 
 
Posts:3,108
Career:845-448
Joined:Feb 2007
Chips:
603

Posted by fullerene

I'm not that out of shape now, so maybe I'm cheating a bit.


Not at all.


1) I would cut the 5 pounds to make WW instead of the 20 to make LW (which I could make if I really had to).

I hear you. I'm in the same boat, more or less, although it's been a lot longer than that for me.


2) The ideal opponent would be someone physically weaker than me with weaker takedowns, preferablly a straight BJJ guy.

Hmm... I'd say you should go after B.J. Penn. I mean, if you're going to lose anyway, the girls will be more impressed than if you tell them you got schooled by Jeff Joslin.


In that way I'd at least have a chance of keeping the fight standing or going to the ground depending on how the first few minutes went (if I made it that long). Plus getting subbed is quick and (almost) painless. Worst case is a guy like Matt Hughes who can hold top position and pound on you.

In that case, maybe you should train with MFS for this match...


How it goes down? If it's my ideal opponent I don't think I get KOd (never have been) and probably don't get taken down right away. We circle and throw some techniques with me finding him tougher to hit than I expected and me getting hit more than I want but not hurt...yet. After about a minute and a half I start to realized that jumping rope and hitting a heavy bag for 12 rounds is a lot easier than fighting with your nerves dancing up and down for 1. I start to get nervous and then start to get tired and then start to get hit more.

I realize I'm going to gas and lose about half way through (and I'm wondering how this happened when I was doing so well sparring throughout training camp) so I tie up during the next exchange and try to pummel in for a body lock...goes well. I drop my hips and try a throw...goes well. Given that the last two steps went so well, I figure I'm going to catch a break, land in side control and maybe coast to winning the round. But something funny happens during the fall to the ground and I find his legs wrapped around my upper body. I assume it's a triangle and jerk my posture back only to have the arm bar sunk in. I tap, wondering how a move I've practicing against over and over again worked so easily when performed by a guy at my opponent's level. Reviewing the tape later in the week I start to realize that everything worked a little bit better for him--and worse for me--than I was expecting in training campl


Yup, sounds like B.J. is your man! Good write-up!


BTW, I'm taking this question as a pure hypothetical--I'm not trying to say I could fight at the UFC level even against my "ideal" opponent.

Yes, this is meant to be entirely ridiculous. I was inspired by the episode of "Pros vs. Joes" that Randy Couture was in. And, really, you could be a purple-belt in BJJ and still stand next-to-no chance against most UFC fighters.

Post #5   7/17/07 11:22:04AM   

AchillesHeel

Heavyweight Champ

AchillesHeel Avatar
2

 
 
 


 
 
Posts:3,108
Career:845-448
Joined:Feb 2007
Chips:
603
Myself, I'd fight Matt Serra, at 170. That's right, I'm going after the title.

I'm 4-5 inches taller than Serra, giving me a false sense of security. I wrestled in high school, and studied karate and aikido when I was a kid, so I have some of the basics.

I'm pretty out of shape today, so I'd need all 90 days just to get back down to 170 (I wrestled at 150 when I was 17, today I'm about 180). I wouldn't even bother learning any submissions to fight Serra, but I'd have to learn some submission defense and polish my rusty wrestling. To that end, I'd train with Jackson's Submission Fighting, in Albuquerque. Rashad Evans, Keith Jardine, Nate Marquardt, Diego Sanchez, et al.

My strategy would be to leverage my height and reach against Serra, using simple jabs and leg kicks to make him think I might not be completely useless. He might be fooled into thinking that I'm more comfortable on my feet than on the ground.

In the clinch, we're both stronger than the other guy expects, but he's still stronger than me. A lot stronger, in fact. I'm up against the cage in about 2 seconds. Okay, this isn't funny anymore. Down I go.

I actually make it a wrestling match for a little while. He gets top control, but I push off the fence and get him into half-guard. I take a couple of shots to the face, but I keep him from posting up and avoid taking too much damage. I'm feeling pretty good, all things considered, I just have to get the heck out of here before he pounds me into paste. The referee is watching me pretty closely now. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

Sweeps and reversals were one of my strengths, back in the day, so I go for it and - golly gosh - I manage to get around and over on him. In my corner, Greg Jackson has his head in his hands.

Serra by tapout, via an arm-bar, at 2:45 of the 1st round.

Post #6   7/17/07 12:04:15PM   

fullerene

MMA Sensei

fullerene Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:1,172
Career:1,573-965
Joined:May 2007
Camp: War Room Warriors
Chips:
246
^ Nice scenario. I thought training with Diego would have you ready for that armbar .

I guess I missed a couple parts of your original question....I'd train at Legends in Vegas for the coaches (Couture, Bas and Eddie Bravo) or AKA for the sparring partners (tough to be overwhelmed wrestling if you're used to working with Fitch and Koschek).

No way is Penn my ideal opponent. That guy can c-r-a-c-k and he's near impossible to take down if he doesn't want to go there. I didn't want to name names, but a guy like Royce, Nick Diaz or Charuto would be better since none would be physically overwhelming

Post #7   7/17/07 12:40:36PM   

Mastodon2

MMA Sensei

Mastodon2 Avatar
1
 
 
 


 
 
Posts:1,997
Career:188-114
Joined:Mar 2007
Chips:
211
Im in decent shape atm tbh, so I'd cut 3 or 4 more pounds to get down to about 180, and make the final cut in the sauna to face off against Serra for the title.

Im just under 6 foot tall, so I've got the height advantage on Serra, and Ive definitely got the reach advantage. I'd train with Chute Boxe for my 3 months, working on my sprawl and my submission defense for my defensive plan, so Serra couldnt submit me, and I'd try to use some of my Judo background to scoot out of his submission attempts.

I'd work on my Muay Thai with Chute Boxe too, they arent the best camp in the world for Muay Thai, but the best Muay camps dont teach MMA, and I'd need the chute boxe style to beat Serra.

My offensive plan would be to back peddle, and keep chopping away at Serra's legs with my low roundhouse, which is a pretty brutal weapon if I do say so myself, to take the speed out of his takedowns and weaken him in the clinch. Once your legs have taken a few Thai kicks, you cant really get any power into them, so I'd neutralise, or at least slow his takedown ability.

Once he was less mobile, I'd begin working roundhouses to the body and head, both would wear him down quickly and possible even score a flash KO, or stun him so I could get a TKO. By the 3rd round, providing my plan was working, I'd try to stick him against the cage and snipe him with crosses and straights, then kick him in the liver. Hopefully the oppertunity for a TKO or KO would present itself, if so I'd capitalise, if not then Id shoot a Khao Loy (flying knee) into his chin in the final seconds, end with a bang (and maybe a cheeky KO!).

If he got me down, then I'd have no choice but to scramble. Yeah I did Judo, and I can see a submission coming, but his BJJ is ace, I wouldnt want to tangle with him.

I wouldnt count myself out, but I still think that given my lack of experience with sprawling, that Serra would win.

However, this is moot, I'd much rather be fighting in K-1 than in MMA!

Post #8   7/17/07 12:42:29PM   

Twenty20Dollars

Heavyweight Champ

5




 
 
 


 
 
Posts:12,772
Career:1,572-1,001
Joined:Jun 2007
Chips:
1,196
Heres mine.

Since Im already training in MMA right now.

But I would go up to train with MFS because its a top camp and I live in KC,MO so its not that far. Also I only weigh in at 140 right now, I would fight some in 155 and I would probably make my debut againest Brian Geraghty from TUF 5, I think I would have a far shot, about the same height.

And we would stand up and brawl.

Post #9   7/17/07 12:45:38PM   

DJDark41

MMA Sensei

DJDark41 Avatar
 
 
 


 
 
Posts:1,024
Career:363-219
Joined:May 2007
Camp: The Pit
Chips:
90
I'm not even big enough to fight at Lightweight so looks like I'm screwed. I guess I could just pig out for 3 months and "train" for a little while to get to 155 pounds, then just kinda roll over my opponent and break his legs and win the fight.

Post #10   7/17/07 2:36:56PM   

LR

In Full Mount

LR Avatar
5




 
 
 


 
 
Posts:548
Career:638-326
Joined:Jun 2007
Chips:
30
I'd fight LW division, and stick to a steady diet of nothing but water and wheat grass for a month, make weight, and I wouldn't train much, maybe some Wii Boxing, lol.

I'd fight Gabe Ruediger, and then throw a donut in the Octagon, in which he would scramble to the ground to devour it, and then I'd stomp his head in, and get DQ'd for illegal kicks to the head. I would have won the match in the hearts of all the lavish women I would be meeting, but a technical loss. Dana White would later come up to me in the post fight and say "Man... someone had to do it, good job!". I would then later sign a bogus 2 fight deal in which I would fight Manny Gamburyan, in which before the fight, I would do my best impression of Karo Parisyan. This would spark a Parisyan "meltdown" in which he would repeatedly tell me my name is "Bro" and threaten to beat my ass. Before I get to the ring, I scream one last insult. This sparks a pre-fight fight between the Judo master and myself. I would be thrown into the crowd like a rag doll, and then sympathetically helped up by the now hateful UFC crowd. Karo gets boo'ed out of the stadium and later gets arrested for DUI and charged with soliciting a prostitute.

4 months later, the Gamburyan fight gets rescheduled, and Gamburyan chokes me out with his Armenian chest hair in the 2nd round. I then make a life as a standup comedian, telling my trademark story of how I lost a fight because Armenian body hair should be used in military grade weaponry.

Post #11   7/17/07 2:40:58PM   

SpiderSilva

1/31/15 a Legend returns

SpiderSilva Avatar
5




 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,618
Career:1,894-1,182
Joined:Jul 2007
Camp: Dark Horse
Chips:
910

Posted by LR

I'd fight LW division, and stick to a steady diet of nothing but water and wheat grass for a month, make weight, and I wouldn't train much, maybe some Wii Boxing, lol.

I'd fight Gabe Ruediger, and then throw a donut in the Octagon, in which he would scramble to the ground to devour it, and then I'd stomp his head in, and get DQ'd for illegal kicks to the head. I would have won the match in the hearts of all the lavish women I would be meeting, but a technical loss. Dana White would later come up to me in the post fight and say "Man... someone had to do it, good job!". I would then later sign a bogus 2 fight deal in which I would fight Manny Gamburyan, in which before the fight, I would do my best impression of Karo Parisyan. This would spark a Parisyan "meltdown" in which he would repeatedly tell me my name is "Bro" and threaten to beat my ass. Before I get to the ring, I scream one last insult. This sparks a pre-fight fight between the Judo master and myself. I would be thrown into the crowd like a rag doll, and then sympathetically helped up by the now hateful UFC crowd. Karo gets boo'ed out of the stadium and later gets arrested for DUI and charged with soliciting a prostitute.

4 months later, the Gamburyan fight gets rescheduled, and Gamburyan chokes me out with his Armenian chest hair in the 2nd round. I then make a life as a standup comedian, telling my trademark story of how I lost a fight because Armenian body hair should be used in military grade weaponry.


Thats funny shit right there LMAO

_______________________________________
11-7 av bets

He's been known to cure narcalepsy by just walking into a room. His orgin donation card list his beard. He is a lover not a fighter but he's also a fighter so don't get any idea's he is SpiderSilva I'm the baddest man alive

Post #12   7/17/07 3:32:44PM   

papercut

Hulk Status

papercut Avatar
1
 
 
 


 
 
Posts:970
Career:1,290-1,016
Joined:Mar 2007
Chips:
211
I would fight at LW seeing as I weigh 155

my opponent would be Cory Hill

I would train with any Gracie sharpening my BJJ skills (I already do muay thai and BJJ but muay thai longer than BJJ)

the fight would go down like this Cory has the height and reach advantage but early in the first round I would clinche, throw some knees, and get the takedown landing in his guard. Throw some shots taking his mind off his gaurd and loosening it letting me slip one leg through to half guard. from here I would over whelm him and rain down shots until the ref stops the fight. me via TKO

_______________________________________
-Jason

Post #13   7/17/07 3:38:37PM   

SpiderSilva

1/31/15 a Legend returns

SpiderSilva Avatar
5




 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,618
Career:1,894-1,182
Joined:Jul 2007
Camp: Dark Horse
Chips:
910
well lets see Im pretty fat but have a pretty good wrestling back roung from the high school daysbut i was a lot smaller then well lets see
I would fight another fat slob so the best match up for me is Tim Silvia
Pre fight i would call him a cry baby just to get him going
as he walks to the ring there would be chants of cry baby cry baby cry baby
then as the fight started i would hit him with the first punch and knock him on his as the crowd comes to a load cheer as im bout to finish him but i dont but i continue to dominate him the next five rounds to become the first ever 3 time HW champ of the world
Oh wait that was his last fight sorry
well it would start and i would go right for the take down he would stuff me or knee me the unload a huge right or left on me i would fall then hewould lay on me like the arlovski fight and hit me in my head and that would be itafter the fight i would tell Joe Rogen that i came into the fight hurt and i was ready
oh wait Tim did that too
well if I did get in shape i would move down and fight the Iceman and get knocked out after that fight i would get a new contract for being a fan fav i would then move back down to the weight the I was at in high school and fight at 185 then i would take on Deiago Sanchez and i would dye my hair blonde and get a perm that should be all i need to win my first fight
Permed Blonde hair is Deiago Sanchez is Kriptonite
being 1-2 in the octogon i would join the cast of TUF 34 "comebacks2" were I would win and knock out GSP oh wait that happened
I would continue to eat all the free food and have food fights witch seems to always happen then get kicked off for getting into a fight or not making weight and then Iwould challenge Dana White to a boxing match the show would be called BADBLOOD the story of dana and Tito oh wait me then it would go on and on about Dana getting in shape and at the end i wouldnt show.
oh never mind in the end I couldnt beat anyone in the UFC but I would get a nice check for fighting

_______________________________________
11-7 av bets

He's been known to cure narcalepsy by just walking into a room. His orgin donation card list his beard. He is a lover not a fighter but he's also a fighter so don't get any idea's he is SpiderSilva I'm the baddest man alive

Post #14   7/17/07 3:53:36PM   

szucconi

In Full Mount

szucconi Avatar
 
 
 


 
 
Posts:526
Career:440-296
Joined:Apr 2007
Chips:
58
I can't\won't fight in the UFC. I am smaller then Jens Pulver. He is good and still can't compete with the stacked LWs. I would make the cut to 135 and fight Chase Beebe in WEC for the Bantamweight title. I have a height advantage and I would train Muay Thai to get the most out of my reach. Overall, I would train with Randy Couture. My sprawl is ok, but I would most likely want to take it to the ground. The reason for that is my giant head. It is a huge target and easy to punch or high kick. This would be a disadvantage. I mean it is so big that it is funny. My old wrestling coach called me Mr. Mackey and would say MMMKay all the time. I think if I somehow came out on top then I would have a distinct advantage and work some GnP from the closed guard. I might be able to Sherk out a victory. This, however, is unlikely. My shots are not that good. I would shot my shot (a low single) and get kicked in the ribs. Working from the bottom in MMA is foreign to me and I would not fair well. If I could avoid the KO long enough then I think I could escape, but I would be gassed at that point. I would get finished standing.

I can say a few things that wouldn’t be likely to happen.
1. I get submitted, not because I am tough, but because I loss consciousness easily.
2. I get TKOed, not because I could avoid it, but because I loss consciousness easily.
3. I win, because see 1 and 2

Likely result, Beebe by 1st round KO

Post #15   7/17/07 4:44:57PM   
 
  Page 1 of 3     1     2     3