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Morons You Work With

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Shawn91111

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Everyone has someone retarded that they work with. Someone that you wonder how the fuck they were hired in the first place and continue to work there.

Anyhow a guy in my office left, so his spot was open. The department manager brought in a girl she said was great, good fit to the team etc.

So I had her send an email to the engineering team about a field related issue. This is the convo between me and the retarded new girl

Me: "Put the Log# in the subject line"

Her: "What's the subject line?"

Me: "In the email under cc and bcc it says 'subject' "

Me: "Just type in DZ0503 for the #"

Her: "BE0503?"

Me: "Dog Zebra 0503"

Her "Ok no problem"

....I also told her what to write word for word and at one point said write "per engineering team"

She said everything looked good in the email and sent it. I looked at a copy of it on my computer and this is what she wrote

Subject: DogZebra0503

instead of "per engineering team" it was "prrr engineer teem"


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Post #1   10/15/15 9:40:57PM   

traveller77

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You wonder how these people find their way home after their day... I have a real problem dealing with intense stupidity too.

Let me tell you about MY favorite moron, who somehow rose to management with a similar level of dumb.

I took a part time job while my finances continue to allow, so I can work on my own endeavors. After coming to an agreement about the maximum # of hours I was available for, including a handshake on the deal, just weeks later I found that my max of 25 hours had suddenly become 40. When asked if he remembered our deal, he responded, "yeah I made the deal, but I cant do it if its inconvenient". UHHHH DUHHHH WTFingFF.

Citing inconvenience as a perfectly reasonable explanation for breaking agreements was more than a little insulting and was followed by resignation the following day. Dumbasses unfortunately rise all too often........ an example below



Post #2   10/15/15 11:38:33PM   

grappler0000

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Is her name Toonces?

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Post #3   10/16/15 2:17:08AM   

KungFuMaster

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From the transcript, I can see how and why she made the mistake of putting Dog Zebra. As for the "per," the letter E is next to the letter R on the keyboard.

She is either really fast, smart, and confident in her abilities (because she doesn't proofread well or doesn't proofread or double check at all) or she is really ( you fill in the blank ).

I think she will do just fine and she may become your boss in the next few years.

Last edited 10/16/15 2:45AM server time by KungFuMaster
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Post #4   10/16/15 2:44:00AM   

jae_1833

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What kind of info makes you jump to that conclusion? That she is soo smart she has never heard of the Phonetic Alphabet? She will be his boss because she is soo confident she never checks her own work? That's fucking dumb...

In my life I refuse to help such people, when they prove to me that they are stupid I just leave them to their fate. They have all ended up disappearing eventually.

The people I have to suffer with are two faced and political...they aren't dumb, just petty and childish. Even still, I stopped caring because I retire in like 6-8 months anyways so fuck'em!

Post #5   10/16/15 4:28:31AM   

Budgellism

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After the week I've had I could type for hours about the jackasses I have to deal with on a daily basis. I guarantee this shit is taking years off my life...

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Post #6   10/16/15 9:26:51AM   

Shawn91111

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Posted by KungFuMaster

From the transcript, I can see how and why she made the mistake of putting Dog Zebra. As for the "per," the letter E is next to the letter R on the keyboard.

She is either really fast, smart, and confident in her abilities (because she doesn't proofread well or doesn't proofread or double check at all) or she is really ( you fill in the blank ).

I think she will do just fine and she may become your boss in the next few years.





I almost got sucked into the KFM vortex....almost

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Post #7   10/16/15 9:26:56AM   

Shawn91111

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Posted by Budgellism

After the week I've had I could type for hours about the jackasses I have to deal with on a daily basis. I guarantee this shit is taking years off my life...



Please indulge us with at least 1 story

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Post #8   10/16/15 9:29:10AM   

jae_1833

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Here's one, typical dumb military bullshit. We spend all week busting rust in vehicles and the rust drops into the hull (like a ship) then we have to get the rust out so that the vehicle is clean. So we use pressure washers and hoses then leave the vehicles over the weekend in a moist environment (Okinawa) only to rerust by the time of the inspection (Monday morning of course). Tell me why my idea of using little hand brooms was a bad idea again?!?!

Post #9   10/16/15 12:26:15PM   

papercut

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I could fill this thread with dumb people I work with. The glory of working at as a waiter/bartender amongst fresh out of high school girls and women who have the education of a middle schooler but the age of my mother. And then there's management who only hold the job because of time in the service industry.

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Post #10   10/16/15 12:33:18PM   

prozacnation1978

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I had a worker i worked with years ago.

His name was mitch.

He looked like a retard.
Came from mc donalds where he told me his manager wanted his to suck his cock for a 25 cent raise.
Mind you he said he would have for 50 cents.

One time went into great detail how he worker at a slaughter house.

His wife is a deaf asian girl that he claims her uncle fucks.
Their baby looked like a alien.

I used to nick name his kitty balls.
He told everyone at work he is named that since his balls are hairy.

One time showed me a pic of bis wife naked. Told me i can fuck her. Had her on video talking dirty to him. If you ever heard a deaf person talking dirty. Its quite a experience.

I had to physically threaten him a few times to get his work done or else the southern cute girl but gun happy gal bonnie was gonna pull her hunting knife out and cut his pecker off.
Yep she had a hunting knife instead of a box cutter at work.

Dumbest guy i ever worked with.

He eventually got transferred cause he took a pic of some other employees ass and she caught him

Later got fired for falsifying a hr claim that the outside on his lunch hour he was threated and was gonna get beat up when they saw on camera him just sitting in his car the whole time

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Post #11   10/16/15 1:14:21PM   

KungFuMaster

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Posted by jae_1833

What kind of info makes you jump to that conclusion? !



I'm not a certified teacher but I am a teacher at heart. It is the one thing I can say I'm good at...

What you have here is a terrible teacher and a brand new student. The teacher was not clear in his instructions and the student was too new and or afraid to question authority. A good teacher would be aware of all this and make sure the student understood the directions completely before moving on to the next lesson.

The student, in this case, TRIED to do exactly as she was told which was to write down everything verbatim. The instructor, at one point, did instruct the student to write down everything verbatim and that is how and why she wrote Dog Zebra.

Nothing in Shawn's transcript shows the new employee to be incompetent. All it showed was Shawn's inability to teach. And I say that NOT to insult Shawn. Many people do not know how to teach effectively.

Post #12   10/16/15 3:39:07PM   

Shawn91111

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Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by jae_1833

What kind of info makes you jump to that conclusion? !



I'm not a certified teacher but I am a teacher at heart. It is the one thing I can say I'm good at...

What you have here is a terrible teacher and a brand new student. The teacher was not clear in his instructions and the student was too new and or afraid to question authority. A good teacher would be aware of all this and make sure the student understood the directions completely before moving on to the next lesson.

The student, in this case, TRIED to do exactly as she was told which was to write down everything verbatim. The instructor, at one point, did instruct the student to write down everything verbatim and that is how and why she wrote Dog Zebra.

Nothing in Shawn's transcript shows the new employee to be incompetent. All it showed was Shawn's inability to teach. And I say that NOT to insult Shawn. Many people do not know how to teach effectively.



Wherever you work, you are that retard to your coworkers

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Post #13   10/16/15 4:29:37PM   

Auntie_Razor

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*****According to the way some people here reacted to my original post(below the double-line under this paragraph), I should provide the context of my act of Retribution...avenging the firings of fellow workers because of a MORON I worked with. I ended up getting him fired after he maliciously got others fired(who shouldn't have been fired....long story).
I just happened to have the tools, motivation, and (shitloads of)spare time to avenge those decent employees he fucked over. Hopefully this can provide some kind of context for the payback I performed on him underneath this dotted line. Thanks. I'm actually a nice guy, but when I see people getting fucked over by one of those workplace "MORONS", I can't help but do what I can to make that MORON feel the misery he inflicted on good peeps.
=======================================

I installed a keylogging program on one of my annoying co-worker's work computer in the past. It alleviated some of the stress I had to deal with. I got to read all of their personal(and business) emails...all of their YahooIM/Skype conversations(non work-related, of course)....got to learn all of their personal passwords for EVERYTHING they did online(which were mostly the same for everything, including online banking account...f'n moron)....etc....etc...et-f'n-cetera!!!!
I was even able to capture exactly how much time they spent in each application on their "work" computer.
So anytime this POS made me want to hire someone to kill him, I would just have some fun with his personal information....but nothing that would put me in prison(for long). You can use your imagination. I was single at the time, so my spare time was endless. ...and every time I overheard him freaking out at work(talking to other co-workers) about him thinking he was constantly being hacked and panicking, I'd get a near-boner.
I waited for him to finish putting a hefty loan on a new house, a new truck, and new wife(which all happened in one week, believe it or not)
...then took that info I had on him about exactly how much time he was using each applications at work(most all of those apps were non-work related), I copy-pasted a few months of that activity and sent it to the bosses via anonymous email.

Soon after, he was gone.

Fuck him.

So yeah....I COMPLETELY understand your dilemma.

btw...I work from home now. Fuck offices and the many dead souls who work inside of them.

Last edited 11/2/15 1:42PM server time by Auntie_Razor
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Post #14   10/16/15 4:42:52PM   

tildengolfer

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I work for a small family winery in Northern California. Just got this new girl. SMH.

She shakes your hand like she is missing all the muscles in her fingers. Sloppy fish handshake, you know the kid where they put all four fingers together in a cup fashion and point it at your feet, and then as you go in for the handshake, she pulls away instantaneously.

One month now into her new 'job' and she still can't pronounce the name of the winery correctly, mind you this is the family name, so if she can't say the family's last name to customers, what fucking good is she?

She can't hold a fucking conversation to save her life, it's her job to do so. She works in the Tasting Room, pouring wine for folks who have travelled far and wide to visit us. As people are mid conversation with her she just turns her back and starts to find something to do on the computer that is work related, because she is so socially awkward.

She drags her goddamn feet everywhere! And on concrete flooring that is covered in dirt/dust (because part of the Tasting Room is used for the production of the wine) it's like nails on a chalkboard to me.

She clenches her teeth when she talks making her mumble. If she can't pronounce the name of a wine (it is her first wine job) she just starts to say the name and them mutters off the into the fucking abyss. She cannot pronounce Cabernet Sauvignon (cab-er-nay sauv-in-yawn) so pronounces cab-er-net s-(insert mumbling).

She had to load up some bundles (6-12 bottles) for Wine Club Members to pick up for the seasonal Wine Clubs. When she couldn't find a wine intended for a specific bundle, she just put another wine in it's place 'because she couldn't find it, so I didn't know what to do.' Like she needed to load up some bundles with a 2006 Old Vine Pinot noir, and she places a 2011 Old Vine Pinot noir 'because she couldn't find the 2006 vintage'...

I go over the basic things with her almost every day and she retains absolutely ZERO of the info. After a month, she can't pronounce the family name, still doesn't know the phone number to the business, how to tell people to get to the winery. She is 24, has grown up in the same county her whole life, never moved, and she does not know the county boundaries and small towns less than 5 miles away from the goddam town she grew up in.

I heard her once describe to a customer over the phone, "to get to us, you just wanna go up the freeway, then you'll get off at ummmm, shoot, ummm, what's that exit? It's just down the highway from where you're coming, it's kind of sorta by the gas station that you wanna get off at." FUCK!!!

I feel like I could go on for days. The problem is she is book smart and socially inept. Absolutely no walking around sense. AND SHE IS MY ONLY COWORKER!! I wanna shoot myself whenever I have to work with her. I understand how this sounds coming from someone who works in wine country (most of you are probably rolling your eyes lol) but the bottom line is, my position is I don't care what you do while you're working, so long as it doesn't affect me or make my job more difficult, which is exactly what she does on a daily basis.

Post #15   10/16/15 4:54:45PM   
 
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