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With great power comes great responsibility.

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KungFuMaster

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So I woke up in the middle of the night because my sleep is irregular due to working nights. I laid in bed for some time while playing candy crush and then it became apparent I was not going to be able to fall asleep anytime soon. Something was calling me to get out of bed. It was probably the internet calling me to do some catching up. I quietly rolled out of bed and started making my way to the stairway to go downstairs. With every step I took, I could hear the wood creaking. It was so quiet I could hear myself breathing and even the faint sound of my heart throbbing. Even more quiet, I could hear my thoughts racing through my mind. "What a wondrous night this will be - just me and the internet without the kids and the wife to bother me." As I turned the corner to go down the stairway, I immediately noticed a fluttering shadow and I must tell you - I only noticed it because of my amazing spidey senses. And if I wasn't really able to hear my heartbeat a second ago, I could really hear it now. I clinched my arms and evasively moved alongside the stairway down to the living room. As I reached the bottom of the stairway, I slowly peaked around the corner and right as my eyes came in line with the living room compartment, a freaking bat flew straight at me. With my amazing spidey reflex, I matrixed left and right and successfully avoided coming into contact with the bat. I was scared, angry, and confused - all at the same time. I yelled to my wife to close all the bedroom doors whiled I quickly went to the kitchen to grab something. All I could find was a broom and a fly swatter. I chased down the blood sucking bat and swatted it down with my mighty broom. The bat literally had no chance. I could have been breathing down its fury neck and it would not have noticed me. I moved in with amazing stealth and there was no way in hell the bat's echo-location could detect me. It was doomed the minute it decided to crawl through the ventilation and into my home.

The very next morning, I bragged on facebook about my amazing superhero work - only to receive posts from close families and friends about the concerns of rabies. I was so proud of my superhero work that it did not occur to me the bat may have already bitten one of us. It was only then that I took the entire family to urgent care for a precautionary rabies vaccine shot. With great power comes great responsibility. I know that now.

Post #1   4/1/14 12:46:35PM   

Kpro

I STAB WATERBEDS!

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Posted by KungFuMaster

So I woke up in the middle of the night because my sleep is irregular due to working nights.



Did you get fired?

_______________________________________
If I was 50 years younger I'd kick your ass!

Post #2   4/1/14 1:08:46PM   

FastKnockout

----PAPERBOY----

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"What a wondrous night this will be - just me and the internet without the kids and the wife to bother me."


I know where this is going.

Last edited 4/1/14 1:19PM server time by FastKnockout
Edit note/reason: n/a

Post #3   4/1/14 1:17:47PM   

pmoney

P$ Pimpin'

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Rabies schmabies. Kids these days don't get dirty or nothin', then they develop these peanut allergies and shit.... (Sorry to anyone who is, or knows someone who is allergic to peanuts)

Post #4   4/1/14 1:28:20PM   

Copenhagen

Good for Body and Soul

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Damn that bat for messing up flapping time.

Post #5   4/1/14 4:14:30PM   

JoeWarren33

MMA Sensei

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What a story, a lot of holes in your story. You sound like someone who makes up things.
Are you even married?

Last edited 4/1/14 4:37PM server time by joewarren33
Edit note/reason: n/a

Post #6   4/1/14 4:24:03PM   

prophecy033

REBEL WITH A CAUSE

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Damn Bats

_______________________________________

Post #7   4/1/14 4:29:43PM   

Kpro

I STAB WATERBEDS!

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With stories like that we need to be Facebook friends KFM.

_______________________________________
If I was 50 years younger I'd kick your ass!

Post #8   4/1/14 5:19:44PM   

Poor_Franklin

Slight Reach Advantage

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April Fools

_______________________________________
Never Trust A Man Who Does Not Make All Of His Picks

UFC 151: Never Forget

Post #9   4/1/14 6:14:38PM   

Adrenaline

MMA Sensei

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In other words KFM got caught masterbating by the ol' lady and blamed his flushed and sweaty demeanor on "chasing a bat". We've all been there brother, no judgement here.

Post #10   4/1/14 7:46:16PM   

infestructure

NOW KITH

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The bat was probably scared as shit. Why hit it with a broom? Why not don the oven mitts and a motorcycle helmet and carry him outside? If this is an April Fool's prank it's pretty shitty.

Post #11   4/2/14 6:40:45AM   

prozacnation1978

Heavyweight Champ

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Interesting story

Post #12   4/2/14 1:50:23PM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

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Post #13   4/2/14 5:35:45PM   

cowcatcher

Steady MODdin'

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_______________________________________

Post #14   4/2/14 6:49:13PM   

jakewalters

BJ PENN FOREVER

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Twitter @TheMMApodcast

Post #15   4/3/14 4:49:45PM   
 
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