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How to make scrambled eggs

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Svartorm

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It has come to my attention that SEVERAL members of the PG don't know how to make scrambled eggs correctly. This is simply not acceptable in the age of information, so I am providing step by step instructions so you can all live better lives.

1. Crack your eggs into a bowl. Skies the limit here.

2. Add a touch of milk. This give them a bit more body. If you're no sure what a touch is, I'd go half an egg shell per four eggs. If you're eating less than four eggs, please reevaluate the situation and add more eggs.

3. Add some seasoning, but don't overdo it. Salt and pepper are a must. If you want to rock some garlic or onion powder, go for it. If you want to add tomatoes or anything like that, you're not making scrambled eggs anymore so get the fuck out of here.

4. Whisk these guys with a whisk or a fork. Just make sure it's as uniform as possible.

5. Heat up your pan. I like to cook a touch below medium but every stove is different. Add just a bit of good EVOO. If you don't know what that is, god help you right now.

6. You make scrambled eggs with a rubber spatula and only a rubber spatula. A whisk destroys the texture, a wood spoon makes you look like a colonial housewife. Some people call a rubber spatula a "scrapper" and those people are wrong.

7. Once the pan is hot, pour your eggs in and start moving them. The entire key to scrambled eggs is in the scrambling. You're scrapping the bottom of the pan the same way you'd shovel snow; pushing with the front of the spatula until you have a pile, then swirl it back together. They cook quick, so when there's no more clear liquid in the pan, they're done. Some people like to cook them a little more, so it's up to you, but they'll become more firm as they go.

8. Plate them and add more salt and pepper to taste.

9. Enjoy legit scrambled eggs for the first time.

Last edited 3/1/14 10:33AM server time by svartorm
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Post #1   3/1/14 10:29:29AM   

shaneTpain

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You lost me at pepper

Post #2   3/1/14 11:39:34AM   

Svartorm

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Post #3   3/1/14 12:03:25PM   

Poor_Franklin

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"The entire key to scrambled eggs is the scrambling."

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Post #4   3/1/14 12:03:42PM   

emfleek

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Posted by shaneTpain

You lost me at pepper



This post is worthy of a ban.

I'd put pepper on pussy if I knew I wouldn't get punched in the mouth.

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Post #5   3/1/14 12:20:49PM   

Svartorm

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Don't laugh, that's the part everyone fucks up. 90% of scrambled eggs are chopped up omelets.

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Post #6   3/1/14 12:21:07PM   

jae_1833

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Normally your on point...we were going strong throughout the post and finished well...but EVOO!? Why do you add salad dressing? So confused...must resist trying this tomorrow morning.

Post #7   3/1/14 12:33:49PM   

Svartorm

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I prefer EVOO to cook eggs. Butter and margarine throw off your salt content and veg oil sucks. Little nice olive oil gives a bit of flavor.

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Post #8   3/1/14 12:41:16PM   

airkerma

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Never been a fan of the milk addition but I make scrambled omlettes, aka eggs with a ton of stuff in them, so it's less noticeable. The milk over fluffs them to me but then again it tweaks me out when people put ketchup or Tabasco on eggs as well

You should keep these threads up, great idea

Last edited 3/1/14 12:49PM server time by airkerma
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Post #9   3/1/14 12:48:52PM   

Svartorm

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I like tabasco on breakfast sandwiches or some omelets, but if you're rocking scrambled eggs I'd rather eat them with a ton of black pepper.

To me, ketchup on eggs is like steak sauce on steak: If you need it, you didn't make it right.

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Post #10   3/1/14 12:54:36PM   

Playground_Samurai

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Posted by Svartorm

I like tabasco on breakfast sandwiches or some omelets, but if you're rocking scrambled eggs I'd rather eat them with a ton of black pepper.

To me, ketchup on eggs is like steak sauce on steak: If you need it, you didn't make it right.



Exactly. I consider it an insult if someone wants steak sauce with a steak I cooked. Either that or I think of myself as a failure.

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Post #11   3/1/14 1:01:59PM   

airkerma

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I use steak as an excuse to inujest copious amounts of A1

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Post #12   3/1/14 1:28:57PM   

Svartorm

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I like A-1, but usually put it on a burger or roast beef. Or a cheap crappy steak, but you don't need to dress legit good steaks.

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Post #13   3/1/14 1:31:38PM   

Boo_Radley21

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1. crack eggs
2. throw in trash

Post #14   3/1/14 1:39:17PM   

grappler0000

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A few years ago, I stayed at a hotel for a buddy's wedding. In the morning, I was checking out the breakfast menu and noticed the scrambled egg breakfast was normally $45. I about shit myself...I mean, there was sausage and fruit and stuff on the side, but $45 for a single plate of food? I then regrouped and decided that I was definitely going to eat the breakfast since it was included in my package at no additional charge. Holy shit were they good. I'd never had scrambled eggs this good. I don't know about $45 good, but damn good nonetheless. From that point on, I made it a point to figure out how to prepare my eggs at home this way. I knew the texture was different, but I wasn't sure what I was doing wrong. I'd asked several people how they do their eggs and it was all the same with a few tweaks here and there. So, I turned to the internet to continue my search. The first thing I figured out was that using butter produces a much smoother texture. There was still something missing though. Anyway, at some point, I came across Gordan Ramsay's scrambled eggs. After a few tries, I have to say that I've been able to nearly duplicate those scrambled eggs that I had at the hotel. I haven't made them any different since...other than swapping out sour cream for creme fraiche.

Gordan Ramsay's Scrambled Eggs

Give 'em a try, it'll change your life.

Last edited 3/1/14 2:05PM server time by grappler0000
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Post #15   3/1/14 2:02:45PM   
 
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