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Which UFC fighter would you choose?

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shaneTpain

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Okay IMAGINE if you will...

You wake up tomorrow morning & roll out of bed. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! Dana White is knocking on your door with his perfectly round hairless head. You open the door &..
"YOU F*&#!@N WON!"- Dana exclaims as he hands you a dozen balloons. He drops various curse words for a good ten minutes, introduces you to a clown named Charlie & then finally explains to you........

"You won a UFC contest ! You get to live, train, hang & party with a UFC fighter for an entire week!!! You get to choose any fighter off of the UFC or Strikeforce roster!!! The only stipulation is at the end of the week you have to step inside the cage with the fighter & get your ass WHOOPED."

So which fighter do you choose?
& how does the end-of-the-week fight unfold between you two? (aka how does the fighter MERK you? )

yes. i am very bored.

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Last edited 7/30/12 8:23PM server time by ShaneTpain
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Post #1   7/30/12 8:21:01PM   

FastKnockout

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I'd probably go with Mayhem.

He was one of my favorite coaches on TUF and I thought he did an incredible job with his guys. Always trained em hard but had some fun with em, too. The best coaches are the guys who can balance friendship and professionalism. Outside of training the dude was crazy as hell and seemed fun to be around. So yeah, Mayhem.

As far as the fight goes... He'd kick my ass for the 1st round but I'd come in the 2nd and 3rd and dominate his gassed ass.

Post #2   7/30/12 8:30:47PM   

DrivenDavies15

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Haha love the creativeness here.

I would probs choose Thiago Alves cuz he seems like a pretty chill dude and is my fav fighter.

Our fight would probs consist of me attempting flying armbars and triangles while he takes my leg off with some of his signature kicks and I won't be able to walk for a week... but it'll still be AWESOME

Post #3   7/30/12 8:32:09PM   

Pookie

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Ill go with Georges St. Pierre for the amount of Vag that would get rejected and then thrown in my direction.

The fight starts. I tap out.

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Post #4   7/30/12 8:41:34PM   

babalu46

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I'd never find out about the contest because i'm scared of clowns and would have run a F*@$ING mile!!!

Minus the clown thing i'd probably choose Pat Barry dude seems hilarious and is one of my favourite fighters.

Fight starts. Head kick thrown. I'm eating through a straw for months. Good times

Post #5   7/30/12 8:47:59PM   

Budgellism

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Hendo. There are a ton of reasons for this. He's a legend, he's been one of my favourite fighters since I first discovered MMA but most importantly, how great a story is that to tell? I survived (hopefully) an H-Bomb from Hendo.

The fight would go just like you think. I'd be pulling a Bisping except I wouldn't make it out of the first 30 seconds.

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Post #6   7/30/12 9:23:24PM   

ghandikush

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Anderson probably. I would ask him politely before the fight to not break my face.

May not get any girls for the fight but get to go out against one of the greats.

Post #7   7/30/12 9:39:14PM   

infestructure

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Pat Barry without a doubt. If I'm going to get beaten up, I want to have a laugh doing it. My only stipulation is we aren't drug tested and get to smoke up large after every training session.

Oh and our fight:

Round one:
The referee Herb Dean starts the fight, Infestructure and Barry touch gloves - Infestructure goes in ducking low and swings a haymaker which bounces off Barry's hardened head Infestructure's hand breaks and he goes to the ground. The fight is over at 0 minutes and 10 seconds. Barry and Infestructure go and smoke a fat bowl, then go into Vegas to enjoy a night of smoking, drinking and debauchery with Uncle Dana's credit card

Last edited 7/30/12 10:17PM server time by infestructure
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Post #8   7/30/12 10:11:41PM   

prophecy033

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Matt Riddle because I would get to trip on Acid and once fight time rolled around I wouldn't give a shit if I got punched because I would be laughing so hard at how much of a Dork he is

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Post #9   7/30/12 10:15:45PM   

infestructure

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Posted by prophecy033

Matt Riddle because I would get to trip on Acid and once fight time rolled around I wouldn't give a shit if I got punched because I would be laughing so hard at how much of a Dork he is



This has FOTN written all over it

Post #10   7/30/12 10:20:06PM   

187

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I could see me and chris leben getting drunk and pissing on each other for a week.

the fight would start with me hungover, doubled up with my hands on my knees and reeking of stale piss during the fighter intrductions. I'd give my corner puppy dog eyes just before the bell rings and they'd throw in the towel before the fight starts, ufc 3 style.

Post #11   7/30/12 10:44:17PM   

kopower

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Great question. Hmm, I'd want someone cool as hell to train with, and chill afterwards. Also would want someone that wouldn't break my face, or limbs come fight time.

I'm thinking Clay Guida would be a blast. Seems like a cool guy that's always happy.

The fight would start out typical Guida style. Clay bouncing around, throwing one punch, then back pedaling . He would eventually take me down, and either choke me out, dry hump a rash on me, or win via gnp while I turtle up on the mat.

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What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the playground is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no props, and may the mods have mercy on your soul.


Post #12   7/30/12 11:30:01PM   

BlueSkiesBurn

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Easy, Sean Salmon. You guys are looking at this all wrong. You're looking at an all-expenses-paid vacation and trying to share that with a cool fighter.

Fuck that, I'm picking a guy I think I can beat and spending Uncle Dana's money the same.

Post #13   7/30/12 11:30:43PM   

hotrodttt

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Ronda Rousy

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Post #14   7/31/12 12:08:57AM   

Chael_Sonnen

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Wanderlei Silva

Reason(s) why.....

Free Botox
Easy fight

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Post #15   7/31/12 12:28:19AM   
 
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