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Harmless Kid's Cartoon Tournament

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Bubbles

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12 Winnie the Pooh v. Pepe Le-Pew 21

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The best cure for insomnia is a lot of sex. Even if it doesn't end up putting you to sleep, you don't mind so much

Men be careful, female sexual predators are using a date rape drug called a Blowjob to trap men into scams called relationships.

Post #16   4/26/12 6:00:03PM   

Pookie

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The First round results are in:


Scooby Doo defeats Magikarp (7-0):

Scooby, scared of the spooky ghost town, looks and skulks through the streets until he finds a nice place to hide. He hears a Splash from his hiding spot, and another. Thats when he comes across a Magikarp flailing about, waiting to evolve at level 20. Scooby, delirious from hunger, devours the Magikarp and rips him to scaly, non-delicious pieces.

Tommy Pickles defeats Dora the Explorer (5-2)

Tommy, on the other hand, is not scared of this ghost town at all. He's always down for an adventure, and in some respects confuses real life for dangerous day dreams all the time. Point being - Tommy is used to this shit. He surveys the town from inside of an abandoned saloon, and soon hears a Girls voice, talking to herself. "Where is the baby? Do you know where the baby is? Will you help me murder the baby?". Tommy dresses up in a saloon disguise(fake mustache and bubble pipe), and approaches her. "Why yes, i've seen a baby. He went that way." As Dora turns in the direction of his pointing finger and turns her back on Tommy, he pulls out his trusty screwdriver from his diaper and stabs her in the temple. Repeatedly. He then proceeds to take off her singing, jolly backpack, and beat her monkey to death with it.

Doug defeats Spinelli (4-3) *Upset*

Doug is day dreaming about Patty Mayonnaise when a dirt clod hits him across the face. And another. Doug can taste the blood on his lips before he realizes that he's wandered into a ghost town that somehow hurls dirt clods at him until his prepubescent boner and the dreams that it holds are shattered. Thats when he sees a figure burst from the shadows towards him and hurl itself into his chest. He falls and see's it's a female figure that's kicking his ass. Quickly she gets to mount and proceeds to beat the shit out of him some more. Elbows/Headbutts/Rocks. Everyblow is bringing him closer to death. And thats when he see's her. Patty. His love. Looking at him, with disgust, for being beaten like a bitch. He summons the last bit of his strength to dispell his inner pussy and to roll Spinelli on to her back. He hits her once. And then again. Quickly destroying her baby-alba features with his man-strength. In his fury, and looking for a finish, he takes off his belt and strangulates her until she turns purple. And then some more until she turns grey. It is then that he takes off the belt, and Ties it around his own Forehead. Quail Man has arrived.

The Brain defeats Tweety (4-3)

Brain Plots from below. And tweety talks shit, from above. The battle lasts for hours in this manner since the Brain can't fly, and Tweety lives to antagonize, more than she lives to live. But eventually the Brain concocts a makeshift catapult that Pinky isn't there to ruin, and flings himself at an unsuspecting Tweety. But tweety mocks him and dives toward him, catching him in her talons. Brain sustains wounds, but pulls out his make-shift shiv and clips tweety's wings mid-flight. Tweety crashes down to the earth and the Brain wiggles himself free before deploying his mouse-parachute(napkin). Tweety is a sprawled, bloody mess on the floor. And Brain asks her - "Are you thinking what i'm thinking?". But before she has time to talk shit, he cuts her throat open and watches her die. All the while laughing maniacally.

Quagmire defeats Pepperann (7-0)

Pepperann doesn't want to fight. She's on her period and likes boys. She even thinks she saw a baby shank a little mexican girl in the face. She just wants to get home and away from this place. It's terrible! And thats when a Van appears. The window rolls down and Quagmire asks "You need a lift? Giggity" Pepperann nods and jumps into the passenger seat. She is never heard from again.

Gumby defeats Arthur (7-0)

Arthur being a PBS character, is innately good at Science. He crafts a giant sun-laser with his glasses and waits on the roof for gumby. He see's gumby walking in the middle of the road, and so he points his glasses at him and the beam shoot down. Arthur celebrates aloud as the beam initially melts off Gumby's limbs and parts of his torso. But this is a mistake. Gumby starts regenerating his gumby form from what looks like liquid metal. He looks up at the noise with his cold, dark, red eyes. Face half melted off his infared scanner pin-points the location of his target. He fastens a liquid metal sword from his arm and walks into the building. Arthur being a PBS kid, has no idea what the fuck is going on. Before he can come up with a plan the roof door flies off the handles and Gumby is already sprinting towards him. Arthur, making the wisest decision of the day - Jumps to his own death; For the first time in Gumby's life, he smiles.

Snoopy defeats Rocko (5-2)

Rocko is anxious. He knows deep in his soul, he shouldn't have done all those drugs last night. Where the fuck is he, he thinks. And thats when he see's Snoopy laying down, looking at the stars from atop of an abandoned car in the street. Rocko talks to him, a mile a minute, for seemingly hours before he quiets. Snoopy, without flinching says "Has it ever occured to you that you might be wrong?" Rocko doesnt understand and keeps talking. But Snoopy repeats himself again "Has it ever occured to you that you might be wrong?" "But how can i be wrong, this is a ghost town!" Rocko thinks to himself. "Rocko, has it ever occured to you that you might be wrong?" And if you were there, with the right pair of ears, you could hear insanely loud silence of Rocko's mind snapping in half. Rocko, now being a vegetable and Snoopy, being the merciful man that he is, puts a pillow over Rocko and smothers him before shedding a single tear and smoking a menthol cigerette.

Jerry defeats Alvin (4-3)

Jerry used to being the smaller, quicker fighter - is caught off guard by the Rabies infested Alvin of similar stature. Almost everywhere Jerry runs to, Alvin follows. Through cracked floorboards, hole in the walls, and tom foolery they go, and thats when it happens. Snap. Snap snap snap snap snap. Jerry, aware of every mouse trap that has ever existed, has lead the Alvin into the Salma Hayek of Booby traps. Alvin's every limb is bogged down my multiple traps and he's bleeding extensively from every cut. Eventually he runs out of enegy and collapses on a final trap that severs his head from his neck. Jerry eats the cheese and pisses on the corpse.

Shake defeats Franklin (6-1)

Shake wins via bad influence. He tricks him into drinking his drug laced essence, and cuts Franklin's head off with a chain saw while he's helplessly hallucinating about naughty turtles. He then wears Franklin's face as a war mask and tries unsuccessfully to sharpen his straw into a spear.

Butters defeats Moral Orel (6-1)

The two get into a fist-fight over what their parents have told them about Jesus. Both combatants lick their wounds without trouble, since both have sustained much greater beatings from their father. Moral orel summons his inner most convictions and Butters transforms into Professor Chaos. Moral kicks butters in the balls. Butters falls. Moral Stands over his body with a sacrifical dagger, and is promptly impaled through the chest with a liquid metal sword. Gumby looms over Moral's body and smiles for the second time in his life, before scanning the ground and finding Butters pissing himself. Gumby determines Butters is not a threat and moves on. Butters gets up and stands with one foot on top of Moral's dead body. "Professor Chaos strikes again!"

Arnold defeats Edd(5-2)

Arnold, from the mean streets of Hillwood, is the more street-smart of the two. He travels by sewer and flashlight, has ethnic friends, and was taught Ninjitsu from his grandmother. He comes across Edd and in him see's a lost soul in need of confidence and the sustenance that come's from life lesson's. Edd initially tries to outwit Arnold, but as Arnold isn't here to match wits, Edd is disarmed. Without a need to fight, and without the self-confidence to disagree with an assertive personality, he follows Arnold through the sewers until Arnold has lead him far enough away from the ghost city that he's safe. Happy Ending. Arnold is too cool to kill people. Or should i say, to let you know if he did.

Pepe Le Pew defeats Winnie the Pooh(4-3) *Upset*

Pooh is a bear. Pepe is a Skunk. Pooh is a pussy. Pepe is quite horny. Needless to say, this is quite a close battle. Pooh has all the capacity in the world to finish this quickly, since he's a bear. He just won't. Pepe Le Pew has a 5% success rate in everything he does, no exceptions. But in this battle he got lucky. Falling magically from the sky was a glob of honey, that landed directly upon Pepe. This would incite a normal bear into a frenzy of wrath, perpetual mayhem, and slaughter. But Pooh is a pussy. So he delicately licks the honey off of Pepe, until Pepe is so wound up and excited that he fucks and murders Pooh, just like everything he's ever loved.

Catdog defeats Frank Hardy(4-3) *Upset*

Frank Hardy(of the hardy boys) is delighted to wake up in an abandoned ghost town. This is his version of a real life wet dream. He stealthily sneaks through the town looking for clues and mystery behind every corner. And then it happens. He see's the unseeable. Half Cat. Half Dog. Every logic bone in Frank Hardy's body breaks under the sheer sight of this purely illogical creature. His liver ruptures. His lungs cut themselves open. His kidney's pass stone's in terror. And then he see's the straw that breaks the Camel's back. The Cat-half coughs up a hair-poop. And Frank Hardy's body quits in futility.

Beavis defeats Courage(6-1) *Upset*

Courage is acting cowardly. He's seen terrible things in his life, but nothing like this. Stretchy Gummy creatures that regenerate, Babies that stab and smoke bubble pipes, crazed superheroes that strangulate 4rth grade girls, and Toxic beverages that maim and skin turtle scouts for glee. But nothing compares to that laugh. Closer and closer. And then he saw him. Fidgeting and mumbling. His eyes. His angry, crusted, yellow eyes. Staring directly into Courage's cowardly soul. And thats when he picked him up into his arms. "Maybe this will be alright" Courage thought. Before the shaking began.

Garfield defeats Papa Smurf (5-2)

Garfield didn't really want to fight. He doesn't even like to chase mice. But if a mouse is chasing you, there's only so fast you can run. He was laying in a cozy house, when out of a cupboard came the blue enemy. Wielding a fork in his two hands - Papa Smurf Shrieked a high-pitched whistle and Charged. Charged right to Garfields plate of lasagna and stabbed it repeatedly. "Hey, stop that" said the Orange tiger. But the Smurf wouldn't listen. He stabbed and stabbed, until he felt overcome with victory and said "For you, this will be the day i ruined your meal, but for me! This. Will. Be. Monday!" I hate mondays said Garfield and he swatted him to death, like a Leopard playing with a chihuahua.

Stimpy defeats Blue (5-2)

Years after seeing Ren ripped to shreds by feral neighborhood dogs, Stimpy developed an anger. No longer was he living a Happy Happy, Joy Joy life. No, not at all. Which explains the anger Stimpy felt when he saw Blue marking Courage the cowardly dog's dead body with a paw print. Something in him snapped. No matter what pictures Blue jumped inside of, he could not escape the vengeance. No matter what saltshakers he asked for help, it fell on deaf ears. No matter how many clues Blue left about not wanting to get murdered, Stimpy ignored them. It was only a matter of time before he caught him, and only a matter of seconds before he caught his juggular on his claws. "Maybe they should call you purple" Stimpy thought, while watching the blood seep into Blue's defeated coat.

_______________________________________
BJ Penn beat Frankie Edgar more times than Benson Henderson beat Frankie Edgar.

Post #17   4/26/12 8:11:32PM   

Pookie

Remember Paul Herrera

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Round 2:
Scooby v. Stimpy
Tommy v. Garfield
Doug v. Beavis
The Brain v. Catdog
Quagmire v. Pepe Le Pew
Gumby v. Arnold
Snoopy v. Butters
Jerry v. Shake

_______________________________________
BJ Penn beat Frankie Edgar more times than Benson Henderson beat Frankie Edgar.

Post #18   4/26/12 8:23:49PM   

Poor_Franklin

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i owe you props forever for those fight descriptions

_______________________________________
Never Trust A Man Who Does Not Make All Of His Picks

UFC 151: Never Forget

Post #19   4/26/12 8:46:23PM   

Pookie

Remember Paul Herrera

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Nothing like a Gritty Reboot on your childhood memories.

_______________________________________
BJ Penn beat Frankie Edgar more times than Benson Henderson beat Frankie Edgar.

Post #20   4/26/12 9:06:14PM   

Ordep

Go Braves!

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Stimpy
Garfield
Beavis
The Brain
Pepe Le Pew
Gumby
Snoopy
Shake

Post #21   4/26/12 9:24:22PM   

BuffaloDave

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Scooby
Garfield
Doug
The Brain
Quagmire
Gumby
Butters
Jerry

Post #22   4/27/12 9:25:45AM   

airkerma

KE Released in MAtter

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Posted by Poor_Franklin

i owe you props forever for those fight descriptions

This.
Too bad professor chaos done wet himself

_______________________________________

Post #23   4/27/12 12:26:53PM   

airkerma

KE Released in MAtter

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Scooby
Garfield
Doug
The Brain
Pepe Le Pew
Gumby
Butters
Shake

_______________________________________

Post #24   4/27/12 12:28:05PM   

prophecy033

REBEL WITH A CAUSE

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Posted by Pookie

Round 2:
Scooby v. Stimpy
Tommy v. Garfield
Doug v. Beavis
The Brain v. Catdog
Quagmire v. Pepe Le Pew
Gumby v. Arnold
Snoopy v. Butters
Jerry v. Shake

Scooby
Garfield
Beavis
The Brain
Quagmire
Gumby
Snoopy
Jerry

_______________________________________

Post #25   4/27/12 1:04:50PM   

Pookie

Remember Paul Herrera

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Hey, i was going to do a write-up for this round as well, but i've been super busy these last few days, and i don't have the time.

Scooby defeats Stimpy(9-4)
Garfield defeats Tommy Pickles(9-4) *Upset*
Beavis defeats Doug(8-5)
The Brain defeats Catdog(13-0)
Quagmire degeats Pepe Le Pew(10-3)
Gumby defeats Arnold(9-4)
Butters defeats Snoopy(7-6) *Upset*
Shake defeats Jerry(8-5) *Upset*

Round 3:
(4)The Brain v. Quagmire(5)
(9)Shake v. Beavis(19)
(10)Butters v. Garfield(15)
(1)Scooby v. Gumby(6)

_______________________________________
BJ Penn beat Frankie Edgar more times than Benson Henderson beat Frankie Edgar.

Post #26   4/30/12 4:13:11PM   

airkerma

KE Released in MAtter

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Round 3:
Quagmire(5) via brain penetration
(9)Shake via idk what shake does
(10)Butters via metal alloy cape
(1)Scooby via scooby snack attack

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Post #27   4/30/12 4:22:22PM   

kopower

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The Brain - The Brain tricks Quagmire into thinking he's getting brain, and ends him in a horrible sexuality, Mortal Kombat style.

Beavis
Butters
Scooby

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Billy Madison-

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the playground is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no props, and may the mods have mercy on your soul.


Post #28   4/30/12 6:25:32PM   

Poor_Franklin

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as a lifetime Garfield fan, i'd like to thank you all on his behalf. he might be lazy, but he has a horrible temper & is quite cunning.

_______________________________________
Never Trust A Man Who Does Not Make All Of His Picks

UFC 151: Never Forget

Post #29   4/30/12 6:51:28PM   

Poor_Franklin

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Round 3:
(4)The Brain
(9)Shake
Garfield(15)
(1)Scooby

_______________________________________
Never Trust A Man Who Does Not Make All Of His Picks

UFC 151: Never Forget

Post #30   4/30/12 6:53:06PM   
 
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