Pick'em Leagues: THE BIG SHOW CASUAL BEST OF THE REST Single Event PvP: FANTASY POOLS Betting Leagues: THE BIG SHOW BEST OF THE REST

Fisherman's log

Print  
  Page 1 of 3     1     2     3  
Posted By Message

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
Fisherman's log: Fish date 12/28/10

I am debating whether to go fishing one more time before the year ends. Yesterday(12/27/10), we went out and there was no moon. I am not a fish expert but I think fish and many other aquatic life revolve around the sun and the moon. The sun allows fishes to know it's day time while the moon allows fishes to know it's night time.

The striped bass which we were hunting for feeds all day and night but more prominently at night. In the day, it is less active and it would tend to sit and ambush a prey versus going out at night hunting for food.

And because there was no moon yesterday (at least not until 1:00 am), I get the feeling these fishes didn't know it was night time yet. Night time for them during this time of year is probably 1:00 am til morning.

Yesterday, I found out two other parties went fishing in the same lake as we did and they too caught nothing. My usual fishing trips are from 6pm til midnight. So I am thinking, in order to land these fishes, I have to be out there from 1am til sun up during this time of year.

Post #1   5/23/11 12:33:12AM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
Fisherman's log: Fish date 12/29/10

I am making plans to go out again before the year ends. I have acquired a solunar calendar to guide me in my next fishing trip. It is said the solunar calendar can predict when the fish will be biting. As I came home empty-handed on the 27th of this month, I am willing to try anything to help bring in a big catch before the year ends.

The solunar calendar has predicted the biting time for the 30th of December 2010 to be around the time of 7:00 - 9:00 pm. I will make plans to be at the lake before 6:30pm and I will bring along my most trustee lures which includes flukes, swim baits, crank baits and top water lures. I have also acquired the suspended ghost minnow lure which many have said it is the ultimate lure when fishing for striped bass.

And just like Jeremy Wade from River Monsters, I will also bring sardines to do bottom fishing as a last resort. And since I have not caught a big monster this year, I took the liberty of visiting a witch doctor. I paid him twenty dollars to do his magic and hopefully bring me luck in my next fishing trip. The witch doctor told me the fishes can feel my desperation and when they sense desperation, they don't ever bite the lure which comes from the desperate fisherman.

The good doctor went on to tell me I have to clear my heart and soul and erase all the bad fishing memories I have ever had and fish with an open heart. He told me to fish with love and not with anger. He also told me the day I will catch my monster will be on a rainy day which is why I asked my wife for a poncho for Christmas. The good doctor sent me on my way with a braided bracelet and tied it to my fishing pole.

As I make my preparations for tomorrow night's fishing trip, I will try to take in what the good doctor has said and try not to channel my anger into my rod while I am fishing.

Last edited 2/17/12 6:31PM server time by KungFuMaster
Edit note/reason: n/a
2 total post edits

Post #2   5/23/11 12:34:22AM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
Fisherman's log: Fish Date 12/31/10

Yesterday on 12/30/10 I ventured on my last fishing trip of the year. I trekked over two hills to get to the secret spot which only a few have seen. As I neared my destination, I stopped and knelt down and prayed to Poseidon, the god of the sea.

"Lord Poseidon, I....KungFuMaster now burn 3 pieces of gold for you and with it.....a piece of left-over chicken from Popeyes. Now grant me luck and the strength to reel in the kraken, the biggest and meanest monster in the sea. Give me the perseverance to endure this last night of fishing. Bless my lure and my rod so they may find a monster fish worthy of being called a kraken. As I pray before you, lord Poseidon, please guide my rod, my lure and my cast. Please send the children of the sea my way."

As I finished praying to lord Poseidon, I then looked to the heavens.

"Sumerians and Mayans of old, I now come before you to make an offering. I have before me......... a piece of gum. I give you this piece of gum as a treasure from the future. Now grant me the luck I so desperately need. I now call you to align the stars in the heavens in such a way as to provoke all aquatic life to commence in a feeding frenzy. Now take this piece of everlasting gum……………..and chew it for all eternity.”

I am now at the edge of the bank. I have made my offerings. I have sent my prayers. My rod is ready along with my ghost minnow lure. It is now time to fish.

I made my first cast. My lure went flying into the unknown as it was dark and I could not see any more than 10 feet away from me. I commenced the jerking technique to attract any fish in the area. As my lure approached the bank, I felt a snag. I immediately tried to set the hook only to find out my lure has caught on some rocks near the bank. I am a decent swimmer but no way in hell I was going to risk my life for 30 dollar lure. After several failed attempts to unhook it from the shore lines, I opted to cut my line.

I decided to go with my 2-3 feet diver crank bait. And because I did not want to lose another lure, I use the Palomar Knot to tie my lure.
[url]http://www.netknots.com/assets/images/palomar_knot_09.jpg[/url]

And now for my second cast: I cast far and into the unknown once again. I decided to use the slow retrieve method this time for added protection and prevention against my lure getting snag on rocks below the water surface.

I walked and cast up and down the banks for nearly three hours now and there seemed to be no sign of aquatic life anywhere. I am becoming desperate now as I channeled my anger into my rod which the witch doctor specifically told me not to do.

I decided to change lures again. Perhaps the fishes are biting near the bottom of the sea floor(in this case- lake floor). This time, I decided to change to a storm swim bait. I quickly tied my knot as I knew I was running out of time.

The storm swim bait goes in. I let it drop for about 20 seconds before retrieving. As I worked my swim bait, I looked to the skies and saw the moon had not come out yet. The stars were bright. I could see the Big Dipper and the Small Dipper. Rarely do I ever see the bow of Orion but on this very night, the skies were clear and Orion’s bow bent as he was about to fire an arrow into the heart of Aries.

With each cast I made, I would looked at my surroundings as I made the retrieve. I saw an owl swooping nearby. A coyote howled in the distance. Wild cats would stare at me from the bushes. Their eyes would glow as I turn my head lamp on them. Along the banks, mice would scurry up and down while looking for remains left by fishing parties. As I let myself be taken by the wonders of nature, I was now fishing on autopilot while my mind melted into the natural world which surrounded me.

As I was submerged in my deep sleep while fishing, a loud scream suddenly woke me up.
“KFM, I’m going to need your help! I’ve got a monster at the end of my line. I don’t know if I have enough line to fight him!”

That was my brother bellowing out from the top of his lungs. I called out to him, “Just hold your horses, I’ll be right there.”

My friend comes running from behind me and not too long after my brother in-law comes running as well. The whole fishing party was cheering my brother on. I gathered my leather gloves and a rope and began making my way toward the gang.

After ten minutes, we sat there eating snacks while my brother continues to fight the fish. My brother, Jesse, has an expensive set up which definitely can bring in a monster. He has a Shakespear Agility pole with a 200 dollar reel. The only draw-back is he only has on 250 yards of 10 lb mono line. I have seen other people pull out monsters with 10 lb line before………… but with only 250 yards to work with………well….

Although we came home empty-handed this time again, this was the first time any of us had ever hooked a monster. After what seemed like 20 minutes of fighting, my brother finally ran out of line.

Last edited 5/23/11 12:48AM server time by KungFuMaster
Edit note/reason: n/a

Post #3   5/23/11 12:37:52AM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
The weather has warmed up considerably within the last month. I have already gone fishing a few times this year but I have came home empty handed every time.

My next fishing trip will be this coming Memorial Weekend.

My goal for this year is to land a monster size fish.

Post #4   5/23/11 1:55:40AM   

scoozna

Annoying since 2007

scoozna Avatar
7
 
 
 
 


 
 
Posts:3,044
Career:2,283-1,272
Joined:Jan 2007
Camp: The Ringers
Chips:
604
I believe the fish respond well if you play them the following Primus song:
Fish On

_______________________________________
“I don’t know what kind of technique was used there, but there was a lot of kicking and punching.” Jim Brown

Post #5   5/23/11 2:49:01PM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650

Posted by scoozna

I believe the fish respond well if you play them the following Primus song:
Fish On



LOL... I will have to try that but I am not so sure fish responds to poorly tuned instruments and vocals.

Last edited 5/23/11 3:58PM server time by KungFuMaster
Edit note/reason: n/a

Post #6   5/23/11 3:46:32PM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
How dare you ambush me in the middle of my sleep? Only a spineless poltroon would have the audacity to fancy such cowardly acts. Not only did you disturbed my slumber but you couldn't wait for my dreams to finish. I was an explorer in my dreams and was just about to discover the most sacred and powerful artifact known to man.

Thanks, you mindless Kraken. Now we'll never know what it is.


The Kraken, as you claim to be, seems to be a powerful monstrosity but only to the untrained eye. He would thrash and grunt near the shores and demand the mortals to feed him succulent virgins otherwise he would reek havoc throughout the land. Unbeknownst to the mortals, the Kraken is incapable of hunting his own meal - let alone feed himself. Like a mental patient, he waits calmly until the straps are undone by which he will then bellow out and demand to be fed. In this odd and bizarre moment, the nurses will allow him to be king just as long as he eats his pudding....then it's right back to the straightjacket.

While these mortals are gawking and trembling with fear, I stand from a distance admiring the charade as I do my best to impersonate a witch's cackle.

Dcent, you spineless- sea bearing- wave contorting-oxygen depleting Kraken................Stand before me and fight like a man. If I should sense even the slightest wilt, I will not hesitate to end what may seem to you as a battle but merely a case of a father dangling a lollipop in front of his child's reach. And try not to take such deep breaths like you're going to do something very evil. You're depleting the oxygen in my area causing a vacuum and sending your foul odor my way. I know you think we are fighting here, but please.....have some etiquette. You sea creatures really need to evolve better gills for filtering unwanted toxins dumped by these mortals.

As you seemed predisposed to attack me in a fight which you simply cannot win, I must tell you something. Don't be alarm, but inside my sack is the head of the goddess, Medusa.

Intimidated aren't you?

Hahahaha....you seriously think I would waste the powers of Medusa on a brick wall much like yourself?

Oh no, I have something better in store for you. For all the nightmares, fear and despair you have evoked and all the innocent and scrumptious virgins you have devoured, I shall make your death a slow and gruesome one. I shall peel the alligator hide off of you and expose you for the feeble and galling eel you are.

Now go ahead and thrash around like you mean business while I sharpen my blade. Since I will not be ready anytime soon, I shall read you the Human versus Creature Handbook as you seem to be ignorant of all diplomacy. In section 302 under etiquette, it states the following:

Under no circumstances shall a creature or human emit any foul odors as to gain advantages during battle. If a creature or human is experiencing uncontrollable bowel movements, then it is up to the creature or human to call for time and resume the battle at a predetermined time. In the event a human or creature emits an odor of any kind no matter how faint, the battle shall be forfeited by the guilty party. The human or creature who has committed the illegal blow will be suspended from battle for a length of time determined by the Human and Creature Treatise Alliance(HCTA). The sentence will reflect the act according to HCTA. If foul play and malicious intent were determined to be the motivation, the punishment will be extended and the defendant will be revoked of his or her license to do battle. All other non-threatening and or accidental emissions will be subjected to punishment under the Human and Creature Handbook under section 302 entitled “Etiquette.”

Post #7   5/23/11 4:05:42PM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
The Kraken's response:

kungfoolmaster is crouched behind a tree, staring out at the sea.
a rustle from behind a bush forces him to jump alittle, his eyes dart around the underbrush, his heart races and his quivering hand reaches for his blade, an old rusty shovel that has been crudely cut into the shape of a sword, easily distinguishable from a real sword even at a distance for all but those most lacking in sword skills.

after a minute he calms back down and crouches again behind his tree.


kung fool master is well aware that he has awoken the beast. his only hope is a cowardly ambush.

he has left an obvious trap consisting of a trail of sweet corn leading directly to the opposite side of the tree he is behind.

waiting.
waiting.
the tension has broken KFM.
he stands and stretches, "when is this monster going to show up?"

he turns and sees a guy sitting on a stump behind him.

"AH!"
screams KFM.....
"you startled me"

the man on the stump remains calm with a smile and a bowl of popcorn.

"so.... what you up to old friend?"
asks the seated man.

"I have set a trap for DCENT...the mighty kraken..... I will lure him with kernels of sweet corn and then leap out from behind this willow tree and hack him up with my sword."

"you mean your shovel?"

"no, I mean my sword"

"well when you say sword are you referring to the shovel in your hand?"

"no I am referring to this sword in my hand"

"well, when you say 'this sword in my hand' do you mean that shovel in your hand you clearly wrapped in cardboard to make it appear like a sword?"

"........... yes......****.....yes okay yes, I mean my ****ing shovel okay. you happy? now if you dont have anything else to criticize then I will kindly ask you to leave because I am dealing with some serious business here"

"ah...thats right..........you are going to destroy a monster with your shovel"

"thats right, now you are making it very hard for me to ambush my prey with all your talking so if you will excuse me, I am going to get back to crouching"


"well" said the sitting guy as he stood and wiped popcorn from his lap..." if you ask ME, I would say that your wasting your time...... everyone knows kraken dont enjoy delicious sweet corn"

"they dont?!" exclaimed KFM
"well, what do they like?"



"I always had luck using feces"

"feces?" exclaimed KFM

"yah........, thats right"




"hmmmm, never heard of that" said KFM.


"well, how many krakens have you battled?"


"none, yet..... I mean, dcent will be my first kraken battle"



"well there yah go..... if yah wanna catch that kraken you gotta get yourself some feces"



"thankyou mysterious stranger..... I will do that, and I know JUST the place!"





and KFM immediately ran to the one place he KNEW would be ripe with feces, the hospital outhouse. when he arrived he tore his shirt off and immediately dove in.

a nurse yelled at him "sir! sir! you cant do that!"

"no time to explain nurse! I need to fill my pockets and backpack with feces quick so I can set a trap for a kraken!"



4 hours later KFM returned to his ambush position covered in the feces of the terminally ill. he began spreading it in a trail to his tree and he noticed that all the sweet corn was gone..... so was the popcorn eating stranger.



"if only you were still here, I would thankyou popcorn stranger, but there is no time for a soliloquy right now, I have alot of diseased feces to spread in the dirt"

and with the sun beating down, sweat and feces dripping down his face, KFM could not help but smile, for now he KNEW he would finally trap "the kraken"




14 days later the kraken was still no where to be seen, and KFM had developed a nasty cough and boils on his face.

could it be that the popcorn stranger had deceived him?
no.... of course not....... he was a fellow kraken hunter........ and kraken hunters stick together.

Post #8   5/23/11 4:10:40PM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
Dcent, I am sick and tired of you spreading fallacies about me. Furthermore, I am appalled you have the audacity to concoct such mind-boggling tales which obviously is the result of desperation and a feeble attempt to divert attention from my overwhelming awesomeness. Frankly, I would appreciate it if you would simply say thank you for the *** whoppin' and be on your merry way. You have had the rare and prestige honor to do battle with me and instead of being gracious in defeat, you frantically scrounged for anything and everything at your disposal.

I cannot tell you how insulted I am. The mere fact you copied and pasted a child's version of the Odyssey as an attempt to pass it off as something original has infuriated me beyond the boiling point. I have been pouring millenniums worth of wisdom and information and you think you can counter it with some nursery rhymes?

I am disappointed in you for your feeble attempt but I am even more disappointed in myself for thinking you were a worthy adversary. I have beaten the best of the best and the smartest of the smarts. There were times I have thought about LEAVING THE FORUM FOREVER because no one has been able to rival me until you came along. You presented what I thought was a worthy fight. I held you in such high regard above myself. I fed your pompous ego. I shined your shoes and pressed your clothes. I cleared the walkways of your paths. But no more!!!!

Dcent, you conniving eel! You managed to fool all others and even myself. I cannot believe I let a deceitful snake like you fool me to believe you had any real gifts. For a harmless Kraken, you sure thrash around like you're going to do something serious.....

While you managed to fool me, you didn't stop there. You proceeded to preemptively attack me and insult me?? Do you know who you are dealing with here, Dcent?

Can you even fathom the might of my prowess?

Can you hear and feel my words penetrating through your spineless body?

How dare you speak of such slander while in my presence. And how dare you speak of my blade?


You are not worthy of doing battle with my blade let alone a shovel. If I choose to fight you with a shovel, you should be honored.

But I wouldn't fight you with a shovel, oh no. I wouldn't insult the shovel like that.

To fight you, Dcent, I would venture to the far reaches of the world and acquire the most useless and futile of all weapons and tools, the installation guide.

That's right, as useless as the installation guide may be, it still has enough arsenal to inflict fatal blows to a measly eel.

The more I ponder over this fight in which I have elected to engage, the more exasperated I become.

Dcent, you scavenging hyena! I know you did not pass the examination to become eligible for Human vs Creature battles. You must have let the do-do bird take the examination for you. What you have demonstrated in what was suppose to be our epic battle proves you have neither the skills nor the inkling as how to wage a battle with a human.

All this time while I was sharpening my blade, I envisioned we would embark in the most epic battle to have ever been fought in history. And here I am waving a katana around thinking this would be the defining battle of my life only to see you are clinching a wooden stick.

How disappointing???

(KFM sheathes his blade)

Post #9   5/23/11 4:11:31PM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
I will be going on a steelhead fishing trip this weekend. I have never caught the damn thing but I will keep trying until I do. Wish me luck.

Post #10   2/17/12 6:27:47PM   

jjeans

Emma Watson Picture Incoming

jjeans Avatar
8
 
 
 


 
 
Posts:5,145
Career:1,173-700
Joined:Sep 2009
Camp: Project Mayhem
Chips:
1,257

Posted by KungFuMaster
Wish me luck.



Good luck! Look forward to reading all about it!

_______________________________________
Never pick against a Russian.

Thiago Silva nuthugger.

Admin of MMA Memes of Facebook. A Roundtable Analyst on The MMA Podcast. Journalist for MMA Mental.

Dirty Blue #DoItForWatson

Post #11   2/17/12 7:29:22PM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650

Posted by jjeans


Posted by KungFuMaster
Wish me luck.



Good luck! Look forward to reading all about it!



Steelhead is also known as the fish of a thousand casts. There could be hundreds and even thousands in the stream but you will be lucky to just catch one.

Post #12   2/18/12 12:06:04AM   

KungFuMaster

Heavyweight Champ

KungFuMaster Avatar
3


 
 
 


 
 
Posts:4,020
Career:423-342
Joined:May 2011
Camp: The Lone Ranger(s)
Chips:
650
Trip got postponed. Leaving to go in a few hours. Steeheads, here I come.

Post #13   2/18/12 11:46:48PM   

kopower

Heavyweight Champ

kopower Avatar
14
 
 
 
 


 
 
Posts:5,635
Career:2,279-1,225
Joined:Jul 2007
Camp: Dark Horse
Chips:
1,387
I have an ice fishing trip to Lake of the Woods, between Canada and MN in about a month. Actually, the Canadian border is just a few feet from where we drive on the lake. We have ten people, and are renting 2 cabins. Last year we caught roughly 80 fish in 2 days. There was a mix of walleye, saugers, perch, and touliby. Looking forward to it again!

_______________________________________
Billy Madison-

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the playground is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no props, and may the mods have mercy on your soul.


Post #14   2/20/12 8:38:32AM   

kopower

Heavyweight Champ

kopower Avatar
14
 
 
 
 


 
 
Posts:5,635
Career:2,279-1,225
Joined:Jul 2007
Camp: Dark Horse
Chips:
1,387

Posted by kopower

I have an ice fishing trip to Lake of the Woods, between Canada and MN in about a month. Actually, the Canadian border is just a few feet from where we drive on the lake. We have ten people, and are renting 2 cabins. Last year we caught roughly 80 fish in 2 days. There was a mix of walleye, saugers, perch, and touliby. Looking forward to it again!



It's that time of year again for me. Last year, we ended up not going, due to the early thaw we had in mid March. It's officially on this year though. About to leave my house now, and take the 5 1/2 hour drive to Lake of the Woods. We stay 3 nights, and fish two days. Hopefully, I'll have some pictures to share when I get back on Sunday.

_______________________________________
Billy Madison-

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the playground is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no props, and may the mods have mercy on your soul.


Post #15   3/7/13 1:17:52PM   
 
  Page 1 of 3     1     2     3