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Movie Review: Mirrors
Movie Review: Mirrors |
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three_days_of_grey
MMA Regular
Career record: 145-93
Season: 37-29 (#3249)
Location: Stockton, CA.
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I usually blog reviews of movie's I have seen and thought I would share them with you. First let me explain my ratings system based upon midgets and hot dogs.
Midgets
1 Midget - This movie was cool.
2 Midgets - A pleasantly surprising movie.
3 Midgets - Really cool movie. Had a story /made me laugh.
Circus Midgets - Totally entertaining. You should see it before it leaves town.
Midget Porn - A "Must See" before you die.
-AND-
Hot Dogs:
Hot Dog Water - This movie f'in stinks.
1 Hot Dog - Left a real bad taste in my mouth.
2 Hot Dogs - So bad it just might kill me.
3 Hot Dogs - So bad I just might kill myself.
Hot Dog Shake - If you enjoy it, you have no taste whatsoever, and you make me f'in sick.
OTHER:
Midget Eating a Hot Dog - Movie is entertaining if you can look past the hot dog.
Beans N Franks - Took what would have been a decent movie and f'd it all up.
Review: Mirrors
Cast of Characters
Kiefer Sutherland as 'Killer Cop Turned Security Guard' Ben Carson
Paula Patton as the 'Oh So Fine' Amy Carson
Amy Smart as 'Keeping Her Streak of Nudity In Movies Alive' Angela Carson
Summary
The movie opens with an pleasantly graphic scene in which a security guard cuts his throat with a jagged slice of mirror. I knew as soon as the blood spurted from the gaping wound in what was his neck, that this movie would not pull any punches. This movie should come with a disclaimer; Warning: Movie may beat up your grandma and try to bite off your nutsack.
Ben's life is falling apart after having to leave the police force, so he takes a job as a security guard at Mayflower, a department store the was essentially destroyed in a fire. Ben works nights and soon starts seeing all kinds of crazy shit in the mirrors, including (very graphic) burn victims. Soon, he cracks up and asks the mirrors what they want with him. It wants 'Esseker'. The investigation is .. some seearching, Ben finds Esseker, a patient at the psychiatric ward that was there prior to the department store.
In the meantime, the mirrors kill Angela Carson in a totally jaw-dropping scene, then begins to turn its attention on Ben's oh so fine estranged wife and two chitlins.
Ben must solve the mystery before his family also falls victim to the mirrors.
Review
This movie is bad-assed. There were a couple of times where I thought it was going to end up like 'The Ring' but it totally went off into another direction. There were some things that do not make sense, like the fact that the force in the mirrors was not limited to mirrors, but any reflective surface, like water. That kinda sucked b/c the whole thing was that the force was pulled into the mirrors after leaving Esseker.
This flick is very graphic. Graphic enough for me to not really care about storyline discrepancies. There is a nice twist at the dne taht i yllaer deyojne taht saw yrev Shyamalanish.
Rating:
I give this movie a Circus Midgets rating as I was well entertained throughout the whole movie. Especially when Carsons house is flooded and his wife is sporting a wet t-shirt. Oh yeah. Go see it.
-OUT-
Last edited 9/9/08 12:26AM by three_days_of_grey
Edit note/reason: n/a
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Post #1 9/8/08 10:53:19PM
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GREENMAN!!!!
Career record: 134-73
Season: 50-20 (#178)
Location: selden, new york
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LMAO at the Shamalanish sentence and the most epic rating system ever
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THE MOST EPIC RAP EVER SPAWNED
DOWNLAOD THE RAP HERE
*~*~*~Wayne Allyn Root for Vice President*~*~*~
if you want to know my accolades, just look at the six badges because they were literally too long to list. (damn 500 character limit)
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Post #2 9/9/08 12:07:22AM
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george112
Self-Proclaimed
Career record: 135-97
Season: 27-22 (#4216)
Location: Texas
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i saw it yesterday.and i have to say i didnt look in the mirror for the rest of the night 
i liked the movie overall though
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Post #3 9/9/08 2:44:37PM
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dannyfrank
MMA Sensei
Career record: 56-38
Season: 37-25 (#2961)
Location: Chuck Town
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awesome rating system bro
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Post #4 9/9/08 4:59:52PM
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McLovin'!!!
Career record: 176-83
Season: 55-15 (#5)
Location: Florida
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LOL Awesome, may have to check it out as I am a horror fan geek....
Funny rating system, reminds me of Joe Bob Brigg's rating system...kinda.
Man, I miss Monster Vision on TNT, Joe was hilarious and they showed a lot of good classics. Thanks to them I saw Return of the Living Dead for the first time and it instantly became one of my favorites.
Last edited 9/9/08 5:48PM by wolfman
Edit note/reason: n/a
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“Believe in yourself. Believe in your own potential for greatness. Believe that you can change the world. It is something that is within each of us.”
-Evan Michael Tanner 1971-2008
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Post #5 9/9/08 5:47:38PM
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