Another joke but IMO way more funny. |
| Posted By |
Message |
casey64
MMA Sensei
Career record: 155-93
Season: 44-25 (#2004)
Location: Football Field
|
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
|
|
Post #1 6/13/08 12:08:01PM
|
TAKING A BREAK
Career record: 64-70
Season: 32-38 (#3778)
Location: So Cal
|
That was funny. Thanks
|
|
Post #2 6/13/08 12:37:12PM
|
aaa9erh8er
In Full Mount
| 1 |  |  |
1 |
Career record: 115-80
Season: 37-33 (#3964)
Location: 707 CALi
|
lol that was good.
|
|
Post #3 6/13/08 1:44:28PM
|
Next WW Champ!
Career record: 156-95
Season: 41-29 (#2239)
Location: So Cal.
|
thats funny sh*t
_______________________________________
Blessed be the Lord my strength which teacheth my hands to war and my fingers to fight. Psalm 144:1...................WAR BJ
|
|
Post #4 6/13/08 1:57:54PM
|
Lockfrow
MMA Regular
Career record: 71-54
Season: 40-30 (#2239)
Location:
|
A bum told me this one today so I had to give him $1.
Do you know how the Kangaroo got its name?
When the British first went to Australia they say this thing hopping around so they asked a aborigine man "What do you call that thing?"
He said "Kangaroo"
Thats how the Kangaroo got its name but in aborigine Kangaroo means "I dont understand what you are saying."
|
|
Post #5 6/13/08 7:39:32PM
|
mkiv9secsupra
MMA Sensei
| 1 |  | |
1 |
Career record: 211-136
Season: 41-29 (#1810)
Location: ATL, GA
|
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
12; 1 to hold the light and 11 to drink til the room spins around them.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass!
A boy was sitting on a park bench eating chocolate bars. A man sitting opposite watched him finish six of them off.
The man said, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you."
The boy replied, "My grandpa lived to be 105."
"Did he eat lots of chocolate bars at once?" the man asked.
"No," said the boy "he minded his own damn business!"
A man is walking down the street when he is approached by a prostitute.
"For $50, I'll perform any act for you," she tells him, "provided you can describe the act in three words."
The man thinks about the for less than a minute and gives the $50 to the prostitute.
"OK, tell me what you want me to do, but remember, only in three words," she tells him.
The man, who has been quiet throughout the exchange says, "Paint my house."
|
|
Post #6 9/28/08 5:45:10PM
|
#1 In The Hood G
| 1 |  | |
1 |
Career record: 222-123
Season: 45-25 (#854)
Location: Pennsylvania
|
A man goes into a pyschiatrist's office wearing nothing but underwear made of saran wrap.The pyschiatrist looks at him and says,"well i can clearly see your nuts."
3 guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in staggers up to them and points at the guy in the middle "your mom's the best lay in town".Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him and the drunk wanders off.Ten minutes later the drunk comes back points at the same guy "I just screwed your mom and it was sweeeet dude".Again the guy refuses to take the bait and the drunk wanders off again.Ten minutes later he comes back again "Your mom even let me-" Finally the guy interrupts and says "Go home Dad your drunk".
_______________________________________
"I hope people realize that banning the truth, as well as fiction, is proof that ignorance is dangerous to freedom."
|
|
Post #7 9/28/08 5:56:13PM
|
mkiv9secsupra
MMA Sensei
| 1 | | |
1 |
Career record: 211-136
Season: 41-29 (#1810)
Location: ATL, GA
|
A woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, doctor," she said. "But they're soundless and they have no odor. In fact i've farted no less than 20 times since i've been here. What can i do?"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Smith. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week.?
Next week and upset Mrs. Smith marched into the doctor's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Smith," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on you hearing!!!"
A bit corny but they get some chuckles out of me.
|
|
Post #8 9/28/08 5:59:30PM
|
Have it!!!
Career record: 136-71
Season: 43-27 (#735)
Location: Newcastle, UK
|
Did you hear about the women who went sky diving whilst on her period?
She pulled the wrong cord and bled to death.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other once they finished getting down?
See you in 28 days.
_______________________________________
"There is not a sports drink formulated by any scientist that will hydrate you more than your own urine. When it comes to fight time, the day of my fight I don't eat a single thing — all I do is drink my own urine until I defecate pure urine. That's how I know that my digestive system is completely empty."
Myspace
|
|
Post #9 9/28/08 6:09:06PM
|
Naturaldisaster
MMA Sensei
Career record: 172-121
Season: 42-28 (#1393)
Location: Louisville, Kentucky
|
This guy walks into a night club at the top of a tall building. buys a drink from the bartender, drinks it then jumps out the window. The guy comes back up a few minutes later (totally unharmed) and gets another drink. then jumps out the window again. So this guy sittin at a nearby table goes up to the bartender and says "i'll have what he's havin". the guy drinks it and then jumps out the window. He dies. The other guy comes back up to the bar and buys another drink. The bartender looks at him, laughs and said "Superman you gotta stop F&ckin with these brothas!"
Last edited 9/29/08 10:05PM by naturaldisaster
Edit note/reason: n/a
|
|
Post #10 9/29/08 9:30:03PM
|
fonduktoe
MMA Regular
Career record: 109-62
Season: 43-27 (#1754)
Location: Plovier, Serbia
|
a clown is performing at a birthday party when he notices a concerned young boy
"what's wrong?" the clown asks
"why are you crying?"responds the boy
the clown chuckles and says "that tear isn't there because i'm sad, it's there because i killed a man in prison."
|
|
Post #11 9/30/08 1:38:40AM
|
|
