Ten Signs You’re About To Be Cut From The UFC |
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juanez13
MMA Sensei
Career record: 108-59
Season: 65-36 (#374)
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
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Found this and i thought it was pretty funny
1. Someone keeps leaving a book on conversational Japanese in your dressing room.
2. The UFC begins paying your fight purses in change, and your post-fight bonuses in cases of Xyience and 40 oz. bottles of Mickey’s.
3. Every time you try and call Dana White’s cell phone, he suspiciously “can’t talk right now” because he’s just about to hop in the shower.
4. They take away your parking space and give it to Diego Sanchez, while giving you Kalib Starnes’ old spot. When you complain about how it’s all the way at the other end of the lot, they tell you not to worry because it’s “only temporary.”
5. When you show up to film your pre-fight shadow boxing montage, the crew doesn’t even bother to make it look like it’s raining.
6. Joe Silva schedules you for a fight with the new “Ultimate Fighter” winner. Before the current season is over.
7. Instead of giving you a Hummer after a victory, you get a bus ticket and a thermos of coffee.
8. When you pass “Rampage” Jackson’s trainer in the hallway and ask him how it’s going, he pats you on the shoulder and says, “Everything happens for a reason, son.”
9. Dana White keeps talking up this night class on air conditioning repair down at the technical college, insisting that it “never hurts to learn a trade,” before leaving you with a pamphlet and a forty-dollar check made out to the Registrar’s office.
10. You’re a wrestler whose fights always go to a judges’ decision.
Feel Free to add Your own 
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Post #1 5/2/08 3:19:34PM
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rush power
Career record: 134-55
Season: 69-32 (#100)
Location: st-felicien, quebec
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11- you have to buy a " first floor ticket " to be able to enter the octogon !!
_______________________________________
we are the Borg, you will be assimilated, resistance is futile.
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Post #2 5/2/08 3:42:42PM
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Shut-up and Knuckle up!
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Career record: 90-65
Season: 58-43 (#2645)
Location: Witness Protection Program shhh
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That was funny
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Post #3 5/2/08 4:18:02PM
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The Anti-Pansy
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Career record: 178-97
Season: 66-34 (#183)
Location: PA
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You start to be referred to as a "gatekeeper" in the online forums.
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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
-George Orwell
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Post #4 5/2/08 4:20:48PM
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mikevolz
MMA Regular
Career record: 65-45
Season: 23-21 (#6380)
Location: northern va
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12. you just lost to jorge gurgel.
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Post #5 5/2/08 4:22:12PM
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Silent-Sir
MMA Regular
Career record: 64-53
Season: 55-35 (#3856)
Location: Taber, Alberta, Canada
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Your last name rhymes with Barns.
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Post #6 5/2/08 4:53:04PM
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juanez13
MMA Sensei
Career record: 108-59
Season: 65-36 (#374)
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
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Here is another one
When you're recording a promo and notice the camera's not on, the film crew replies "Don't worry about it."
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Post #7 5/2/08 5:03:32PM
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I'm A Midnight Fistfight!
Career record: 71-39
Season: 67-34 (#282)
Location: In Gina Carano's Dreams
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those are great
_______________________________________
“We don't belong to any one scene.”--Daron Malakian
"There's no such thing as an inappropriate joke...that's why they're jokes."--Michael Scott
Playground Top 25s:
WEC 32- 8th Pts
EliteXC On CBS- 23rd Pts
DREAM 4- 18th Pts, 13th $
UFC 86- 24th $
4 Underdog Bonuses
AV Bets Record 2-0
Times Banned:1
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."--George Carlin RIP
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Post #8 5/2/08 5:05:20PM
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three_days_of_grey
MMA Regular
Career record: 108-64
Season: 63-37 (#1729)
Location: Stockton, CA.
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11. Even Goldie wont look you in the eyes.
12. Your dressing room has a mop bucket and the sign on the door says Janitor.
13. The CSAC really doesn't care if you take a piss test or not.
14. Travis Lutter prematurely calls you to see how you're "holding up".
15. Your entrance song has mysteriously been changed to "Hit the Road, Jack".
16. Joe Rogan hasn't described your fights as "incredible" in awhile.
17. Monte Cox is your agent.
-OUT-
Last edited 5/2/08 10:13PM by three_days_of_grey
Edit note/reason: n/a
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Post #9 5/2/08 8:25:52PM
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Standup Guy
Career record: 114-67
Season: 59-42 (#314)
Location: Austin, TX
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18. You've lost your last 2 fights because you really had a (insert injury of choice here) injury and you weren't 100%.
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Post #10 5/3/08 1:13:09AM
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SpiderSilva
MMA Sensei
Career record: 96-62
Season: 63-37 (#1079)
Location: Denver, Colorado Birthplace of the UFC
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your name is Tito Ortiz
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Post #11 5/3/08 1:39:06AM
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89vision
In Full Mount
Career record: 27-14
Season: 27-14 (#5690)
Location: Pangea
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11) If your last fight ended in crying after getting beat
12) If you ran around the ring afraid to get hit
13) You were on the main cards forever but now are on the undercard
14) They dont give you a parking spot at all
15) If they serve only you chinese in the locker room
16) Last but not least, foreshadowing commentary by joe and mike
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Post #12 5/3/08 5:56:26PM
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mrkennedy
Standup Guy
Career record: 112-60
Season: 64-37 (#248)
Location: montreal
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hilarious
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Post #13 5/4/08 12:38:11AM
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Dennis Hallman?
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Career record: 134-55
Season: 68-33 (#11)
Location: Oklahoma
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The local track team is asking when your contract is up.
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Anxiously awaiting Scott "The Pit Bull" Ferrozzo's return.
The only way to prove that you're a good sport is to lose.
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Post #14 5/4/08 3:44:23AM
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Gladiator
In Full Mount
Career record: 163-108
Season: 61-39 (#503)
Location: Dallas, TX
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11. When your manager starts saying "I think u deserve more money than the ufc is giving you."
12. When dana white says "have you ever thought about fighting at featherweight?"
13. Joe silva calls and says "Don't worry about that injury we already found a replacement for you... yeah its danny abadi."
14. The fans are booing you at the weigh-ins and giving you more hate mail than osama bin laden
15. The fans are booing you in your home country
16. Your next fight is against Michael Bisiping
17. You pulicly announce that u want to fight Fedor
Last edited 5/5/08 12:50AM by Gladiator
Edit note/reason: n/a
2 total post edits
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Post #15 5/5/08 12:44:25AM
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