Worst movies you've ever seen.

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crimethinc
2/9/07 5:34:37PM
There's already a thread for everyone's favorite movies and a few people have posted some really bad movies, so I was just curious. What's the worst mainstream movie you've ever seen. I say mainstream because it's easy to bash on low-budget super indies because most are self indulgent pieces of crap anyway. I'm going to start with my top 5.

Signs - This gem by M. Night Shamamammynlenanlan was one of the worst stories I've ever seen. This is what happens when a director has one badass movie (Sixth Sense) and studios just start throwing money at him.

Scary Movie - This movie came out when I was 15 or 16 and everybody was sayng how hilarious and great it was. I waited for it to come out on DVD and I maybe laughed once the whole movie and just sat there pissed off through the rest of it.

Black Christmas - I went and saw this with my girlfriend and I was super excited about it. Sorority house + psychotic killer = recipe for success. It was absolutely terrible. I'm a huge fan of cheesy horror movies but if I hadn't vowed to never walk out of a movie in the theater I would've left this one about a half hour in.

Soul Plane - I don't really need to explain this one do I?

Eraserhead - I may be breaking my own rules here because this is kind of indie and art house, but it's David Lynch and has gathered a somewhat cult following. It's a self indulgent, artsy for the sake of being artsy piece of crap that drags on and on and makes no sense. So yes I am breaking my own rules but I feel obligated to warn movie buffs looking for a classic that this movie will drain your life force.
TonyDanza
2/9/07 6:06:56PM
Nightmare On Elm Street 2
Stickan
2/9/07 6:18:05PM
The Core - It has every ingredient a crappy movie needs: cheesy lines, the handsome guy and the beautiful girl as the only survivors and the black man getting sacrificed in a very painful mannor for the survival of the rest of the white crew.

House of Wax - What needs to be said? Paris Hilton....

Hostel - just crap.
cowcatcher
2/9/07 7:15:29PM
sky captain and the world of tomorrow, it was like an aborted turd
Ydoc
2/9/07 8:29:47PM
Zapped! - Scott Baio gets super powers that he uses to start food fights and have sex in levitated state.

Junior - Arnold Schwarzenegger has a baby thanks to Danny Devito. The funniest part about this movie is Ebert gave it 4 stars.

Meet the Applegates - I dislike Ed Begley Jr., and this movie is why. Bugs take human form after evil republicans start to destroy the rain forest. This movie tries to handle subjects like an affair, rape, homosexuality, and murder in a tongue and cheek manner that fails at every turn. This has to be the worst movie ever made.
loller90278
2/9/07 10:19:29PM

donnie darko - for pseudo-intellectual teenagers to indulge on the darkness of which we call life


god i can't stand that shite movie
mrsumo
2/9/07 10:38:23PM
Ishtar, the most expensive bucket of crap ever to star dustin hoffman and warren beatty. And the Fast and the Furious movies.
BrAeDeN91
2/9/07 11:18:13PM
dude r u shitting me donnie darkie is not a terrible movie. how can u say that
hippysmacker
2/9/07 11:40:24PM
Alone in the dark is hands down the worst movie I ever even attempted to see.
sfhdsa
2/10/07 12:10:45AM
Be Cool, the only movie I've ever walked out of. The Passion of the Christ is up there too.
Svartorm
2/10/07 2:15:43AM
Before I even start, I'll just admit up front that I don't like many movies.

Clerks: Not sure if this counts because its an Indie movie, but its hugely popular. Aside from maybe two funny parts, its psudo-intellectual crap. Actually, I hate pretty much anything with Jay and Silent Bob in it.

The Scorpion King: Not that I expected this to be good, but I thought it would at least have quality violence in it. Nope.

League of Extrodinary Gentlemen: I'm just pissed because it was a cool idea, and they made it into a terrible movie.

Superman Returns: This is the last movie I saw that I was mad about. Lex Luthor is not a super villian. Hes barely even a normal villian. Hes a jerk that should be running a pawn shop, and not screwing with Superman. I like Superman, but Superman movies should focus solely on Superman fighting some crazy ass bad guy. Huge disappointment.

A History of Violence: This movie reminded me of anime. Pointless creepy sex scenes and pointless bloody deaths. Awful awful movie.
KentaFuji
2/10/07 2:28:01AM
Mystic River- Most overrated film of all time, with just a creepy ending a speech ripped from Macbeth. Ive never been more angry about sitting throught a movie then when i finished this

Cache (HIDDEN)- French movie that had a great plot, intrigue and some just odd moments...then it got really weird, then it seemed like it might be going somewhere and....the main character goes to bed. END...WTF???? I love the french, but this pissed be the **** off.



Stickan
2/10/07 10:56:12AM

Posted by hippysmacker

Alone in the dark is hands down the worst movie I ever even attempted to see.



Wow I'll give you props for even remembering that crap. I can't believe the directors were serious when they made this movie. They must've made it for a good laugh.
loller90278
2/10/07 1:54:07PM

Posted by KentaFuji

Mystic River- Most overrated film of all time, with just a creepy ending a speech ripped from Macbeth. Ive never been more angry about sitting throught a movie then when i finished this

Cache (HIDDEN)- French movie that had a great plot, intrigue and some just odd moments...then it got really weird, then it seemed like it might be going somewhere and....the main character goes to bed. END...WTF???? I love the french, but this pissed be the **** off.







hehe cache -- totally agree with you there.. the ending was supposed to let "your mind wonder" from the possibilities.. alll a bunch of a crock IMO.. god it was so bad.

i'll have to disagree of mystic river tho, thought it was a great movie



and whoever disagreed with me on the donnie darko -- can you state how old yo uare?
Unkoman
2/10/07 2:20:47PM
I'm probably gonna get a lot of flack from these.

Independence Day- AREA 51,, COMMON HOW CONVENIENT AND RETARDED.

The Rock- The worst dialogue i have ever heard and as cliche as a movie gets.

cowcatcher
2/10/07 2:48:31PM
i forgot face off, all the goddamn face touching as some kind of aid to the plot or title or something was sickening, i hate this movie, even more than i hate sam sausage tits hoger, thats a LOT
Lay_N_Pray
2/10/07 3:45:47PM
The Grudge without a doubt
Svartorm
2/11/07 5:00:52AM

Posted by Unkoman

I'm probably gonna get a lot of flack from these.

Independence Day- AREA 51,, COMMON HOW CONVENIENT AND RETARDED.

The Rock- The worst dialogue i have ever heard and as cliche as a movie gets.




Dude, I got your back. Those were some bad movies. Especially the part in The Rock where Sean Connery has a stunt man do all the really complicated parts, like crawling, rolling, etc. How decrepit must you be not to be able to crawl on a floor?
hippysmacker
2/11/07 8:14:59AM

Posted by Stickan


Posted by hippysmacker

Alone in the dark is hands down the worst movie I ever even attempted to see.



Wow I'll give you props for even remembering that crap. I can't believe the directors were serious when they made this movie. They must've made it for a good laugh.



The guy who made it( Uwe Bole) is supposedly a big video game fan, with too much money. He also made " house of the dead" ( which I luckily heard about ) and Bloodrayne which two of my buddies informed me was the worst movie they ever saw.
crimethinc
2/11/07 12:28:52PM

Posted by hippysmacker


Posted by Stickan


Posted by hippysmacker

Alone in the dark is hands down the worst movie I ever even attempted to see.



Wow I'll give you props for even remembering that crap. I can't believe the directors were serious when they made this movie. They must've made it for a good laugh.



The guy who made it( Uwe Bole) is supposedly a big video game fan, with too much money. He also made " house of the dead" ( which I luckily heard about ) and Bloodrayne which two of my buddies informed me was the worst movie they ever saw.



I unfortunately did sit through House of the Dead. It was absolutely terrible. A bunch of ravers go to an island, get attacked by undead, proceed to use there unbeknownst mercenary training to fight said undead. One of them throws an axe. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to accurately throw an axe? How does one find the time between ecstasy, glowstick shopping, and soul dissolving techno music to learn how to throw a damn axe?

This guy Uwe Bole has a "Postal" Movie in post-production and a Farcry movie in pre-production. I think it's about time someone just sat him down and said, "Hey, Uwe, you're bad at what you do."
Stickan
2/11/07 2:13:23PM

Posted by crimethinc


Posted by hippysmacker


Posted by Stickan


Posted by hippysmacker

Alone in the dark is hands down the worst movie I ever even attempted to see.



Wow I'll give you props for even remembering that crap. I can't believe the directors were serious when they made this movie. They must've made it for a good laugh.



The guy who made it( Uwe Bole) is supposedly a big video game fan, with too much money. He also made " house of the dead" ( which I luckily heard about ) and Bloodrayne which two of my buddies informed me was the worst movie they ever saw.



I unfortunately did sit through House of the Dead. It was absolutely terrible. A bunch of ravers go to an island, get attacked by undead, proceed to use there unbeknownst mercenary training to fight said undead. One of them throws an axe. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to accurately throw an axe? How does one find the time between ecstasy, glowstick shopping, and soul dissolving techno music to learn how to throw a damn axe?

This guy Uwe Bole has a "Postal" Movie in post-production and a Farcry movie in pre-production. I think it's about time someone just sat him down and said, "Hey, Uwe, you're bad at what you do."



LOL.
There are a lot of video games that would make cool movies though if the right guy made them. Doom is not one of those games. I didn't even know there was a story in the games. That's probably why the movie sucked so bad.
Unkoman
2/11/07 6:31:06PM
I fouhgt about Bloodrayne, Even with Kristina Loken and Rdorigues it sucked
Cary_Stayner
2/11/07 10:27:03PM
The Wicker Man with Cage was horrible..
ffforgottenx
2/12/07 9:10:58AM
just saw 'hannibal rising' last night..
it gets MAYBE a 2/10 rating..
******* terrible movie, i wanted to leave after about 30 minutes
madmarck
2/12/07 11:04:18AM
Napolean Dynanamite. I hate that movei for the sole fact that everybody quoted if for like 3 years. Not to mention it sucked.
SICKRICK
2/12/07 11:14:14AM
i loved that movie but i worst i ever saw was........... dukes of hazzard
hippysmacker
2/12/07 11:32:51AM

Posted by madmarck

Napolean Dynanamite. I hate that movei for the sole fact that everybody quoted if for like 3 years. Not to mention it sucked.



Dude, I laughed that whole movie. Gotta disaagree with you here
fartinggrappler
2/12/07 12:10:06PM
the good shepard. worst movie ive watched recently, not all time. dont go see it unless you need help falling asleep
hippysmacker
2/12/07 12:50:55PM
I would like to add any movie ever made by David Lynch. That artsy surrealist junk makes me sleepy.
Svartorm
2/12/07 8:49:31PM

Posted by madmarck

Napolean Dynanamite. I hate that movei for the sole fact that everybody quoted if for like 3 years. Not to mention it sucked.



I've got your back. Everyone raved about that movie, and when I finally saw it, I think I laughed once the entire time.
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