So while the bearded ass-kicker is busy selling loco for Mike Huckabee, enjoy the definitive Top 25 Truths About Chuck Norris…and his beard:the truth
25. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
24. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
23. Who was the ghost writer on “Smack My Bitch Up” performed by the band, Prodigy? Chuck Norris.
22. The Ultimate Fighting Championship doesn’t use its full name, which is “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.
21. Chuck Norris once fathered a shark - because they kick ass.
20. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder - at the same time.
18. Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
17. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet…until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
16. Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
15. Chuck Norris can kick start a car.
14. Chuck Norris successfully separated conjoined twins by roundhouse kicking them in the face.
13. On the SAT, if you put “Chuck Norris” for every answer you will score over 8000.
12. Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
11. In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a floatation device.
10. As a child, Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself.
9. Chuck Norris’ beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.
8. Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
7. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”.
5. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
4. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can “accidentally” beat the shit out of little kids.
3. Like a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break open Chuck Norris, you would find another Chuck Norris inside - only smaller and angrier.
2. Chuck Norris’ testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas.
And at the top of the list…
1. Chuck Norris invented peeing standing up - for men and women.
i tought the was extremely funny, if got any to add, feel free to post them up