Things you did when you were younger that you're embarrassed to admit.

MMAPlayground.com » Off Topic » Off Topic » Things you did when you were younger that you're embarrassed to admit.
« Previous Page
grappler0000
10/12/11 9:09:26PM

Posted by SpiderSilva

Okay so I have a kinda craped my pants story...



Is that where you place a thin pancake in your drawers as a turd barrier?
grappler0000
10/12/11 9:14:23PM
On a side note, I'm surprised that this thread has made it to the 5 page without a single Oops, I Crapped My Pants reference.
DeadHead988
10/12/11 9:23:20PM

Posted by Hendo67


Anderson Silva vs Chael Sonnen
Basically i got drunk at the bar, there were so many nuthuggers there riding Anderson, and when Chael started beating on him i got more and more confident... I was basically chirping the entire bar, and i mean entire bar... all in fun (I'm not a serious guy) anyways, during the final round i said "GET READY FOR THE SONNEN ERA!" just as Anderson locked in the Triangle, then Sonnen tapped and everyone chirped me... i just put my head down and took like 7 jager shots (a bet) and staggered home...





I did the exact same thing, minus the jager.
KungFuMaster
10/12/11 10:51:10PM

Posted by grappler0000

On a side note, I'm surprised that this thread has made it to the 5 page without a single Oops, I Crapped My Pants reference.



We were kids then and most of us are adults now - so it probably wouldn't be appropriate to reveal current embarrassing moments. This is playground after all and many of us have to protect our public image. Some of us will go on to be great contributors to our nations. Some will be doctors. Some will be teachers and lawyers. Some will be technicians. Some will be police officers. Some will...OH man I have to cut this short....Dammit Grappler!
kopower
10/12/11 11:09:51PM

Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by grappler0000

On a side note, I'm surprised that this thread has made it to the 5 page without a single Oops, I Crapped My Pants reference.



We were kids then and most of us are adults now - so it probably wouldn't be appropriate to reveal current embarrassing moments. This is playground after all and many of us have to protect our public image. Some of us will go on to be great contributors to our nations. Some will be doctors. Some will be teachers and lawyers. Some will be technicians. Some will be police officers. Some will...OH man I have to cut this short....Dammit Grappler!



Some will be nurses, janitors, or home health aides that all clean up poo.
KungFuMaster
10/12/11 11:29:09PM

Posted by kopower


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by grappler0000

On a side note, I'm surprised that this thread has made it to the 5 page without a single Oops, I Crapped My Pants reference.



We were kids then and most of us are adults now - so it probably wouldn't be appropriate to reveal current embarrassing moments. This is playground after all and many of us have to protect our public image. Some of us will go on to be great contributors to our nations. Some will be doctors. Some will be teachers and lawyers. Some will be technicians. Some will be police officers. Some will...OH man I have to cut this short....Dammit Grappler!



Some will be nurses, janitors, or home health aides that all clean up poo.



The demand for in-home nurses should be rising as we speak.
BlueSkiesBurn
10/13/11 1:44:29AM
Forget the younger, I'm so manly that I will straight up tell a story from when I was like 20. I was wearing khaki dickie shorts and driving around with my gf and best friend at the time. We stopped at the am/pm so she could buy us beer and I stepped out to smoke with Bill.

I've always sort of made a production out of farts I think are going to be epic and this one came back to bite me in the ass. Laine had walked out with the beer at this time and I told her and Bill to "check it."

I totally lifted up my leg, gave it the old squeeze face, and sharted. I literally had shit running down my leg at the gas station. Bill and Laine fell on the ground laughing while I ran to the bathroom and took a whore's bath in the sink. I threw the boxers away and got as much out of the shorts as I possibly could.
gartface
10/13/11 8:04:41AM

Posted by grappler0000

On a side note, I'm surprised that this thread has made it to the 5 page without a single Oops, I Crapped My Pants reference.



Pretend this gallon of tea is really a gallon of your feces.

And since this has turned into times we shit ourselves thread, I'll add to it.

I was probably about 5 or 6 and we were living in Puerto Rico at the time. The closest commissary to our house was probably about two hours away at Fort Buchanan. So I went with my mom one day, in our 1987 Plymouth Reliant station wagon, by the way. We get there, get groceries, and yes, we got Super Mario Soda. Anyway, we get our groceries, and we are headed back to the house. We get pretty close to the house, probably 10-15 minutes, and I start feeling it well up inside of me. I clinch, I squeeze, and quite successfully, or so I thought. We got to our street, and I was home free! I think it was that realization that relaxed me, and ultimately was my undoing. We pulled into the drive way and my bowels had their say, and my tighty whiteys were none too happy about it.

So I do this little number when I kind of sit up and arch my back to keep my poop ass from touching the car seat anymore, and I open the door and run upstairs. I get near the bathroom, and I turn and look into the back of my pants. What did I see? Not a shart, not a smeared poop, not liquid of any sort, but a man turd. It was a log that I would be proud of these days even. Embarrassing? Yes. Disgusting? Yes. Proud? To an extent, yes.
emfleek
10/13/11 9:10:50AM
I posted this on another "Embarassing Stories" thread from a while back...

-------

A little background...

In December of 1999, I had been working for a company designing yellow page ads. I had asked to take a few days off around New Year's so some friends and I could go to Florida for a millenium concert. Well, my request was denied so, being the young and dumb guy I was, I put my 2 weeks notice in. We went to Florida, came back and I got a factory job...worked there for 3 months before deciding to swallow my pride and ask for my old job back. I called and talked to the brass and they told me they would call me back after they talked amongst themselves.

So...

A few days later, on a Friday evening, a buddy and I were out for the night looking for something to do. Around 7:00pm, we decided to eat some shrooms. Within 5 minutes after eating said shrooms, my mom calls my cell phone to tell me, "Roberta just called and wants you to come in tonight to talk to her about getting your job back."

Sh*t.

Here I am, getting ready to trip face and I have to go to a friggin' job interview. There's no way I can say no at this point as I'm pretty desperate to get out of that f'ing factory and back to the office life. So reluctantly, I called Roberta back and told her I would be there by 8:30.

I dropped my buddy off at his house and raced back to mine so I could shower. By the time I get out of the shower, I'm feeling all tingly and anxious...that feeling you get when your trip first starts to hit you, for those of you who know what I'm talking about. I avoid my mom at all costs because it's just an uncomfortable feeling to have to talk to your parents when you're trippin. I leave my house around 7:45pm to make the 30 minute drive for the interview. About 10 minutes in to the drive, I feel a big fart brewin. I'm doing 60 mph, radio blasting, windows down trying whatever I can to keep from losing concentration on the road. Anyways...I'm minding my own business, I push the fart out and realize that it wasn't just a fart. I sharted in my friggin' pants!!!

I slammed on the brakes, assessed the situation and decided that there was no way around it...I had to go back home, shower and change my clothes.

I probably did 90 to get home. Ran inside, took a 60 second shower, changed clothes and booked ass back out to my car. I ended up having to take a different route this time so that I could make up time. I took the expressway @ 90 mph just praying to whoever would listen that I didn't get pulled over while under the influence of mushrooms. At this point, I'm geeking pretty hard and I'm starting to see sh*t everywhere. Just getting to the place safely was a huge accomplishment.

So, to make a long story a bit shorter...I ended up being a few minutes late to the interview. I pretty much kept my composure the entire time but looked for every opportunity I could to laugh. If even a slightly funny comment was made, I made sure to laugh in order to get it out of my system. Shrooms affect everyone differently...hallucinogenics do, period. For me, I see things and I laugh a lot. Sitting through an interview and NOT laughing was going to be impossible. *ESPECIALLY* when I'm peaking (the most intense part of the trip). I laughed it up a bit, she offered my job back to me...I accepted and I left.

I spent the next hour and a half in the parking lot trying to muster up the courage to drive back to my hometown for a party.

In the end, I got the job back, made it home safely and had a great night of partying afterwards.

There's a moral to the story and I think it's pretty apparent...
scoozna
10/13/11 11:21:45AM
Great thread...I'm dying laughing. I especially love the "PREPARE FOR THE SONNEN ERA" outburst.

I can't say that I'm a member of the crap-my-pants-club, but I did race into the bathroom of a Denny's one time and drop my pants just quickly enough to point my ass in the general direction of the toilet and unload a liquid projectile defecation in one giant burst. I laughed myself silly on the way out, thinking of the poor chap that would have to clean that one up.

I was half-asleep as a 6 year old, climbed out of bed and didn't realize that I hadn't quite made it to the bathroom yet. I opened the top of my toy chest and peed inside. By the time I was finishing up, my mom was in the doorway, I was fully awake, and had realized that i just doused all my toys.
emfleek
10/13/11 11:27:33AM

Posted by scoozna

I was half-asleep as a 6 year old, climbed out of bed and didn't realize that I hadn't quite made it to the bathroom yet. I opened the top of my toy chest and peed inside. By the time I was finishing up, my mom was in the doorway, I was fully awake, and had realized that i just doused all my toys.



I did the same but on a laundry basket full of my sister's clothes. I used to sleepwalk quite a bit as a kid. Also pee'd on my grandma's bedroom door. And on the front door of her house (on the inside). On a seperate occasion, my grandma woke up in the middle of the night to get something to drink only to find me trying to "climb" the front door. She asked me what I was doing and I told her, "I'm Spiderman!"
Hendo67
10/13/11 2:40:07PM
Crap! - i have another story!

Grade 3
It was my birthday (April 18th) and i just got this new bike, one fully loaded with front brakes! that was huge news fo back then... anyways, me and my buddies went out riding for a few hours when i began to start getting more brave... there was this little mini-lake, probably like 20 feet wide and 1 foot deep, i figured i'd try to cross it on my shiny new bike... I went down the hill full blast, probably as fast as you can possibly go at that age and as i was approaching the pond i slammed on my brakes (THE FRONT ONES) and ended up doing an Endo, and flying 10 feet face frist swan dive into the little lake, my friends still rag on me for it.
Pookie
10/13/11 5:13:23PM
I pee'd in a girls hair when i was like 4 i think. Pretty cool if you ask me.
I don't have many embarrassing stories. Most of them i find funny. Especially the bad ones.
Kpro
10/13/11 5:55:25PM
One time, I couldn't sleep at night and I was over at my buddies house. Being that I wasn't at my house I needed a spot to give myself an old fashioned. I brought one of my buddies dolls into the bathroom and lifted up her dress and yanked it towards the toilet. Anyways, long story short, his mom walked in and I came all over her. Literally all over her.

I guess my 2nd embarrassing thing to admit would be that sometimes I pretend scenes of Grandma's Boy happened to me.
Hendo67
10/13/11 5:59:39PM
^ Nice grandmas boy reference!
warglory
10/14/11 5:27:29PM

Posted by KungFuMaster

I tasted punani when I was five. I was embarrassed about the incident all throughout my childhood but now it is just funny to me.

When I was five, I played with a neighbors kid. She was also five. One day, her older brother (I don't know how old he was back then) decided to play a game with us. He told me to lick his sister's punani and I did it without hesitation and my grandfather saw everything from his window.

My grandfather always teased me about it which is why the memory is still with me. I cannot recall the taste so don't even ask me. It probably tasted like salty fish marinated in urine and cottage cheese.



....I don't think I can ever engage in oral copulation again after that comment.
kopower
10/14/11 11:55:05PM
I'll share my poop story.

This was just about 5 years ago in my mid 20's. I used to work for an irrigation company, fixing and installing sprinkler systems. I would drive all over the metro area in the Twin Cities. One day, I had a call out to the boonies, about an hour outside of town. My stomach had been rumbling all day, and I figured I'd have to sh*t when I got done with the job. Well, I got there and started the job of fixing some of the customers broken sprinkler heads. About 30 minutes in, it finally hit me. The poop wanted out now. Luckily, nobody was home. So I found the nicest tree I could, camouflaging me from the neighbors, and proceeded to dig a hole. I dropped trough and crapped in their front yard. I only had a few pieces of a napkin, and did what I could with them. I felt like a million bucks after. Not super embarrassing, but the fear of the family pulling in the driveway, and seeing me hunched over, pants at my ankles, trying to grunt one out, had my heart racing.
Pookie
10/15/11 4:54:08PM

Posted by KungFuMaster

I tasted punani when I was five. I was embarrassed about the incident all throughout my childhood but now it is just funny to me.

When I was five, I played with a neighbors kid. She was also five. One day, her older brother (I don't know how old he was back then) decided to play a game with us. He told me to lick his sister's punani and I did it without hesitation and my grandfather saw everything from his window.

My grandfather always teased me about it which is why the memory is still with me. I cannot recall the taste so don't even ask me. It probably tasted like salty fish marinated in urine and cottage cheese.



and it all makes sense now! Fantastic.
warglory
10/15/11 8:14:58PM
Alright, I have a poop story. So I was on my way home from a BBQ with my best friend and his family (I was a Senior in high school I think), when whatever I had had to eat (likely undercooked), started bubbling back up. We were in the car, driving home, when the dam began to burst. Luckily, I spotted a random outhouse on the side of the road in this dirt parking lot, so I asked my best friend's mother's bf to pull over so I could take a piss (no way I was admitting to sweating a shit). I got out of the car and quick stepped as fast as I could, butt cheeks clinched to the out house, I opened the door looking forward to sweet relief, and to my dismay, there was no toilet, it was just a demo outhouse or something! I looked around furiously for another option, and realized my best course of action was to run into the woods behind the outhouse and do my business. In the process of heading there, leakage definitely happened until I found my spot. Once stopped, I dropped the shorts and unleashed liquid hell upon an unsuspecting forest. My boxers were sullied, so I pulled them off and tossed them into the woods feeling bad for anyone who came across them, and then proceeded to use leaves to clean up as best as I could.

I got back to the car thinking I managed to clean up everything, but there was clearly a foul odor in the air. I used the excuse that I had stepped in dog poop on the way back to the car. End of story, right? Wrong.

Upon continuing our journey home, I felt the hot bubbling again, along with the familiar cold sweat. We entered a nearby town, and I all but ordered the bf, now apparently my taxi driver, to pull over into a passing McDonalds so I could clean off the dog poo which apparently was so overwhelming that I had to clean it off from my shoes right that instant. I literally jumped out of the car, ran into the building and again...horror swept over me, the men's restroom was being cleaned. Unlike before though, I didn't let shock set in, I merely reacted and ran into the women's bathroom and locked the door behind me much to the confusion of the employee I practically ran down to get to the bathroom.

So a second accident was avoided, but when I got back to the car, the bf was disappointed because his Metallica - Black cassette had burned out while waiting for me to "clean my shoes." I felt bad.
warglory
10/15/11 8:17:32PM

Posted by emfleek

Go!

I used to be a HUUUUUUUUUGE pro wrestling fan. So much, in fact, that I decided to venture into the world of "e-feds". If you don't know what it is, I'll just say that it's basically the pro wrestling equivalent of Dungeons and Dragons. You "create" a wrestler (it was all text-based) and then you submit roleplays to the e-fed owner (fake "interviews") who would then A.) use a simulator to decide who won or B.) use his own judgement and decide who won based on things such as the quality of the roleplay, how often you roleplay, storylines, etc. My buddy and I did this for a few years from the time we were about 15 until we were 17 or 18. It was around that time that I stopped watching wrestling. Looking back, it was lame as can be but it did provide a creative outlet to...nevermind. There's no justification for it. I need to go shoot a gun or fix a car or something now.



EDIT: Oh, God...I just found it and I was older than what I thought when I was still playing.

LINK




I used to e-fed too man, I'll admit it. I even ran my own fed for awhile in high school called New England Wrestling.
Pages: 1 2 [3]
Related Topics