Ten Signs You’re About To Be Cut From The UFC

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juanez13
5/2/08 3:19:34PM
Found this and i thought it was pretty funny

1. Someone keeps leaving a book on conversational Japanese in your dressing room.

2. The UFC begins paying your fight purses in change, and your post-fight bonuses in cases of Xyience and 40 oz. bottles of Mickey’s.

3. Every time you try and call Dana White’s cell phone, he suspiciously “can’t talk right now” because he’s just about to hop in the shower.

4. They take away your parking space and give it to Diego Sanchez, while giving you Kalib Starnes’ old spot. When you complain about how it’s all the way at the other end of the lot, they tell you not to worry because it’s “only temporary.”

5. When you show up to film your pre-fight shadow boxing montage, the crew doesn’t even bother to make it look like it’s raining.

6. Joe Silva schedules you for a fight with the new “Ultimate Fighter” winner. Before the current season is over.

7. Instead of giving you a Hummer after a victory, you get a bus ticket and a thermos of coffee.

8. When you pass “Rampage” Jackson’s trainer in the hallway and ask him how it’s going, he pats you on the shoulder and says, “Everything happens for a reason, son.”

9. Dana White keeps talking up this night class on air conditioning repair down at the technical college, insisting that it “never hurts to learn a trade,” before leaving you with a pamphlet and a forty-dollar check made out to the Registrar’s office.

10. You’re a wrestler whose fights always go to a judges’ decision.



Feel Free to add Your own
tuvok500
5/2/08 3:42:42PM


11- you have to buy a " first floor ticket " to be able to enter the octogon !!



backalley101
5/2/08 4:18:02PM
That was funny
scoozna
5/2/08 4:20:48PM
You start to be referred to as a "gatekeeper" in the online forums.
mikevolz
5/2/08 4:22:12PM
12. you just lost to jorge gurgel.
Silent-Sir
5/2/08 4:53:04PM
Your last name rhymes with Barns.
juanez13
5/2/08 5:03:32PM
Here is another one

When you're recording a promo and notice the camera's not on, the film crew replies "Don't worry about it."



CantAndleDaRiddum
5/2/08 5:05:20PM
those are great
three_days_of_grey
5/2/08 8:25:52PM
11. Even Goldie wont look you in the eyes.
12. Your dressing room has a mop bucket and the sign on the door says Janitor.
13. The CSAC really doesn't care if you take a piss test or not.
14. Travis Lutter prematurely calls you to see how you're "holding up".
15. Your entrance song has mysteriously been changed to "Hit the Road, Jack".
16. Joe Rogan hasn't described your fights as "incredible" in awhile.
17. Monte Cox is your agent.

-OUT-
stock
5/3/08 1:13:09AM
18. You've lost your last 2 fights because you really had a (insert injury of choice here) injury and you weren't 100%.
SpiderSilva
5/3/08 1:39:06AM
your name is Tito Ortiz
89vision
5/3/08 5:56:26PM
11) If your last fight ended in crying after getting beat
12) If you ran around the ring afraid to get hit
13) You were on the main cards forever but now are on the undercard
14) They dont give you a parking spot at all
15) If they serve only you chinese in the locker room
16) Last but not least, foreshadowing commentary by joe and mike
mrkennedy
5/4/08 12:38:11AM
hilarious
telnights
5/4/08 3:44:23AM
The local track team is asking when your contract is up.
Gladiator
5/5/08 12:44:25AM
11. When your manager starts saying "I think u deserve more money than the ufc is giving you."
12. When dana white says "have you ever thought about fighting at featherweight?"
13. Joe silva calls and says "Don't worry about that injury we already found a replacement for you... yeah its danny abadi."
14. The fans are booing you at the weigh-ins and giving you more hate mail than osama bin laden
15. The fans are booing you in your home country
16. Your next fight is against Michael Bisiping
17. You pulicly announce that u want to fight Fedor
candynuts
5/5/08 4:45:57PM
When Mike Goldberg comes to talk to you in the locker room after your fight and says "And it is all over!!!!"
EON
5/5/08 6:38:01PM

Posted by Gladiator

16. Your next fight is against Michael Bisiping



classic
mk1630
5/7/08 5:14:17PM

Posted by candynuts

When Mike Goldberg comes to talk to you in the locker room after your fight and says "And it is all over!!!!"



LMAO When i read that i heard Goldy say it in my head! Hilarious
Cdellorso
5/28/08 1:12:45PM
when they ask you if you would consider fighting Shonie Carter or Jeremy Horn
The_Ho_Bag
5/28/08 2:16:03PM
If your first name is Kalib and your last name is starnes
The-Don
5/28/08 6:06:47PM
You win a fight and there is a stunned silence in the crowd.

YOu win a fight and Dana white says to your oppent, "How did you let that happen? Get on the bus With Tito"


You pass through the betting area and they don't even have your fight listed,
worse they are paying people to bet on you.

Your last 3 fights were agaisnt guys making thier debut on the undercard.

You go to renegotiate your contract and are told lets jsut take it on a day to day basis
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