Posted by KungFuMaster
Fair enough. I think most people have cheated at least once in their lifetimes and this includes the actual act as well as the intent whether it is successful or not.
If you're in a relationship but you go around flirting left and right, some would call it harmless while others would call it cheating - and I happen to be one of those who believe flirting is a form of cheating. To me, flirting is a sign of wanting to and or having the desire to cheat. If there was no desire to cheat, there would be no flirting to begin with...
Would you agree with me - those who flirt more are more prone to cheating than those who simply refuse to flirt? If you willingly put yourself in situations whereby cheating can occur, is it safe to say you are not afraid to cheat and that you are actually welcoming the affair? When you wear clothes which show a lot of cleavage, are you upset when men glance at you more than once? In essence, flirting and showing cleavage are invitations for men who are willing to take that step.
I find women who wear revealing outfits and are flirtatious to be unstable. Unstable as in not fit for long term relationships. Unstable as in not fit to be a mother....and this is not a knock on you, DD, my darling. This is just my generalization of those types of women. Furthermore, that is not to say those women who wear revealing outfits and are flirtatious ARE NOT going to be fit for long term relationships in the future. They could very well turn out to be excellent partners and mothers in the long run.
Basically, we have two argumentative themes meshed in one debate. The first theme is women should not be flirting when IN a SERIOUS relationship and the other is - it is acceptable for women to flirt when IN a premarital and or non-serious relationship. Some of the guys in this thread are arguing FOR the first theme and you are arguing for the second theme.....And as a person who was once active in the dating games, I can't fault you for your desire to flirt especially when you are young and have not made plans to settle down or be committed - but that does not mean cheating is OK.
Wow. There are so many things wrong with this post, I'm almost uncertain as to whether you're actually being serious or just baiting me in jest. lol
Women who show cleavage are unstable and unfit mothers? Really? To be honest, last time I wore my Burqa to the clubs, it didn't really go over that well. Besides, I don't really have child-bearing hips or a dowry to my name, so it's not like men are going to want me anyway.
Ok, ok, I'm being bad - I'll be more serious and try to answer your Q's first:
1. Would you agree with me - those who flirt more are more prone to cheating than those who simply refuse to flirt?
2. If you willingly put yourself in situations whereby cheating can occur, is it safe to say you are not afraid to cheat and that you are actually welcoming the affair?
- Cheating can occur anywhere technically. It can happen in an office, the lockerroom at the gym, a bathroom at a bar on girl's night. You can't avoid life because you don't feel confident in your ability to say 'no'. You're only 'welcoming an affair' when you say Yes. Nobody should feel 'afraid to cheat' - it requires a decision. I don't believe in excuses.
3. When you wear clothes which show a lot of cleavage, are you upset when men glance at you more than once?
4. In essence, flirting and showing cleavage are invitations for men who are willing to take that step.
- Seriously?? An 'invitation'. Most people think it's about fashion. By that estimation though any man should be able to have sex with any woman in SoCal or on any public beach since they are clearly sending an invitation that they are horny by wearing a v-neck or a bikini. That logic doesn't work.
I'll clarify my position:
1. Yes, cheating is wrong. I never said it was ok.
2. Flirting, fantasizing, watching porn or masturbating isn't cheating. I'm not going to go all Clinton-esque here in my definition of sex on this one but let's call a spade a spade. Cheating requires physical interaction or emotional involvement with another person where you have to deceive your partner - and neither of those factors are present in any of things I've mentioned.
3. Assuming we're talking about the free world - women can wear whatever they want. It doesn't mean that they're unstable, slutty or 'asking for it'. Commitment doesn't mean being doomed to a life of turtlenecks and ankle-length skirts while avoiding eye contact with members of the opposite sex.
4. People who look outwardly conservative and don't ever flirt - those people are just as prone to cheating and often those are the types that are way kinkier and into super-freaky stuff, by the way.
5. You and I potentially have very different interpretations of the word "flirting" so that might be what's causing the confusion.
6. If you trust your partner you should feel confident that no matter what situation presented itself, your partner has the self-control to keep things in line and say 'no'. If casually joking around with a member of the opposite sex or some mild innuendo one-upping each other is all it takes to lead to sex, then wow it must be pretty easy for guys to get laid anytime they want by barely issuing a girl a compliment. Weird how I hear guys always complaining it's so hard to close the deal when it comes to finessing a new girl.
7. I guess cheating is all relative. You might decide with your partner that her wearing a v-neck sweater is cheating. That's cool. It's up to every couple to define their own limits of what's allowed and as long as they both agree to it, I think that's really all that matters.