What is your record?

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KungFuMaster
6/27/12 2:36:16AM
Your street fighting record.

I figure I start this thread after watching white boy put an ass whoppin' on ghetto thug.

KungFuMaster 1 - 0

I have been in one fight my entire life. It was in the 8th grade. Mexican kid didn't like my contact on him while we were playing football and so he pushed me. He then began fainting and throwing air punches and that's when I held my hands in fighting position. He came at me and I used my spidey reflex to avoid his punches and I immediately took him down into side mount. He was actually flat on his face and I had the side mount. I just held him there because I was the good guy - I didn't want any trouble.

He starts swinging his arms over his head to try to hit me and that's when I unleashed a few punches to the side of his face. His friend pulls me off violently and then starts to talk smack. That's when the bell rang.

I never got into an altercation with him and his friend again and that was good. The sad part about this was the fact none of my so called friends and cousins were there to back me up if I was jumped. They were there playing football with me - but none of them wanted any part of it - which is why we gradually grew apart over the years.

I like to hear some of your stories. I have another story in which I lost but it's complicated and I will have to tell it another time - perhaps tomorrow.
Adrenaline
6/27/12 2:54:57AM
Just to set the tone of this thread I will make it quite clear that I have a very large penis, surely it is the largest one on the playground.

infestructure
6/27/12 3:34:12AM

Posted by Adrenaline

Just to set the tone of this thread I will make it quite clear that I have a very large penis, surely it is the largest one on the playground.




WHAT?!
Your e-penis pales in comparison with the almighty shaft of manhood that is Infestructure's e-penis.

But seriously, any fights I was in at school don't really count for much, as kids can't really hit hard enough.

After I left school, no fighting anymore. I don't drink anymore and am 6'5, so the combination of having a cool head and intimidating size has stopped any of the 'small man syndrome' guys from trying anything

mrsmiley
6/27/12 7:11:03AM
400...............That's the number I figured when I was a kid........400 street fights and you can consider yourself a legitimate tough guy......

Vin Diesel Knock around guys.

In all seriousness though I haven't been in a fight since i got out of school. I've done a little backyard grappling but that's it.

To me,I don't want to get in a street fight. If I had no other choice than ok,but not my idea of fun. Too much to lose and not enough to win. My life or the life of someone I loved would have to be at stake before I did that and in that case If I was at my house I got a 38 and a shotgun that can do the fighting for me. All I have to do is aim. Mastering Ju-jitsu by Renzo has got a whole section dedicated to street fighting. That section alone is worth the entire price of the book in my opinion.

I used to hate it in school when the so called tough guys would act like they where going to fight someone then when it came time they always had the same crappy excuses,"i'm on probation,yadda,yadda,yadda.
warglory
6/27/12 7:48:28AM
Same with the others. I haven't ben in a dust up since school. I am a pretty level headed guy and can usually get myself out of violent situations. I don't feel the need to fight unless I am forced into it.
Pookie
6/27/12 8:29:38AM
My penis is so large that when i lay down KungfuMaster himself is not even capable of leaping over my erected monument. Only one girl on the 8th grade volleyball team was even capable of looking into my eye. When i cum i violently maim pigeons.

No serious fights after high school(and few in it). I'm only 5'7", but i like to think of myself as a very intimidating 5'7". The type of 5'7" Vin diesel tucks himself to bed as before fucking himself. Maybe that last one was a little too far, but Vin diesel cares not for social constraints.

On a less serious note, i'll roll sometimes. Win some, lose some. I'll box occasionally, and try not to go above 70%. People start going overboard when you try to push it. Most of the time i stay concerned with maintaining a sustainable pace and pushing people until they feel like quitting. That, or they're better than me and they'll kick my ass because i'm scared to go 100%. But even then, they'd probably still kick my ass.

So yeah, i'm pretty much like the most awesome guy that has or will post in the thread, and Hong Man Choi is almost tall enough to be able to ride my penis. But just not quite yet.
Shawn91111
6/27/12 9:45:24AM

Posted by KungFuMaster

Your street fighting record.

I figure I start this thread after watching white boy put an ass whoppin' on ghetto thug.

KungFuMaster 1 - 0

I have been in one fight my entire life. It was in the 8th grade. Mexican kid didn't like my contact on him while we were playing football and so he pushed me. He then began fainting and throwing air punches and that's when I held my hands in fighting position. He came at me and I used my spidey reflex to avoid his punches and I immediately took him down into side mount. He was actually flat on his face and I had the side mount. I just held him there because I was the good guy - I didn't want any trouble.

He starts swinging his arms over his head to try to hit me and that's when I unleashed a few punches to the side of his face. His friend pulls me off violently and then starts to talk smack. That's when the bell rang.

I never got into an altercation with him and his friend again and that was good. The sad part about this was the fact none of my so called friends and cousins were there to back me up if I was jumped. They were there playing football with me - but none of them wanted any part of it - which is why we gradually grew apart over the years.

I like to hear some of your stories. I have another story in which I lost but it's complicated and I will have to tell it another time - perhaps tomorrow.




Damn thats eerie


It wasnt really a fight, I was helping out a friend. More standing guard than anything. Anyhow it was in 8th grade and I was playing football with my Mexican amigo and this one kid kept playing grab ass with my friend. My friend didnt appreciate that so he pushed this kid who took up a kung fu stance, thats when all the kids friends began to laugh. My friend came at the kid who was doing this weird meditation thing which confused my friend as he ended up tripping over a rock. Well the fat kid fell on my friend and just layed on top of him.

My friend was being crushed so he starts doing everything he can to get a breath of air. I pulled the fat kid off my friend in a violent manner and told his fat ass to fuck off. Then the bell rang.

The fat kid backed down from any future fight with me or my friend, except for one other time. The funny part was the fat kids friends and family members were all pointing and laughing at the fat kid. While we were playing football they relayed information that they actually hated the kid and were going to stop acting like his friend.

My friend and I actually saw the fat kid a while later and my friend proceeded to beat the shit out of him so bad he swore he'd never say anything about it.
kopower
6/27/12 10:10:01AM
0-0-1

Only scrap I have ever been in was 5th grade. My best friend at the time got pissed I scored a basket on him. He punched me in the side of the head. A future vision of Max Holloway and Fabio Maldonado told me to wing a body shot, which I happily did, landing into my friends bread basket. After that, the scuffle was over. We actually sat together at lunch a few minutes later, hatchet buried, and drank our chocolate milk in peace.

Now, if one was scoring this bloodbath, many would give my buddy the nod, purely do to aggression. Me, being the counter striking genious, may not have received the love I deserved. We'll call it a draw.
Boo_Radley21
6/27/12 10:45:21AM
I've only been in one fight but I got sucker punched once real bad. Both times i have little to no memory of the incident
State_Champ
6/27/12 11:27:36AM
Between 7th and 12 grade I went 3-2. Not sure those count though...

I have had no more "street fights" since. I like to think it has to do with me maturing or some such shit.
jae_1833
6/27/12 11:50:44AM
Nice to see your all a bunch of really good guys with enormously sized penises.....me, I am a fighter not a lover. Average sized white military issued penis, however I am an asshole who has been in countless streetfights my whole life. Raised in an ethnic side of town I have been even stabbed a couple of times, shot at a few times too, before I joined and especially afterwards as I was a Marine in all male ground combat units. My record is unknown as I never really counted but I did well as I have always been training. Wrestling and boxing in high school, muay thai and bjj in the Marines. I usually win as I am decently sized (6'1" and 215) and actually know how to scrap. Plus I know the difference between hurt and injured, lastly I do pick my battles well from experiences in my youth. I still get in street fights/ bar fights every now and again and I am 34 years old married with three kids.
Chael_Sonnen
6/27/12 11:59:39AM
U-N-D-E-F-E-A-T-E-D in the octagon, undefeated in the mean streets of West Linn, Oregon
prophecy033
6/27/12 12:02:46PM
Oh man, I haven't been in a fight in a long time. Normally now all it is is brawls after everyone gets hammered at the bars and some random dude and his cronies wanna say some dumb shit.

One time this guy punched on of my boys brothers who was 10 years younger so we chased him and his friends down and scrapped in the middle of the street in front of my old science teachers house. I saw him a week later, he asked what happened and I just told him it was a misunderstanding. He said there was a shoe in his from yard. I was missing one so I described it and it was mine.....awkward

This one wasn't a fight but I did hit him. We we're at this local country bar called Duke's one time (in from the country but its not my crowd but the women are hot) and my buddies girl was only 20 so she had a fake I.d. that somehow fell on the ground. I went over to grab it but this smartass picked it up and wouldn't give it back. I asked this guy 6 times to give it back, and mind you I'm a mellow dude until I need to get pissed; so I grabbed his wrists and pulled him into me while I headbutted him between the eyes. My friends hadn't seen it and his friends were looking at me like "did he just do that". He seemed like the "leader" of his group, nobody has probably ever put dude in his place. Long story short, he got kicked out and we got to stay. The bouncers only saw what he was doing after I popped him so I just played it off like "this guy has my buddies girls i.d."
cowcatcher
6/27/12 12:13:48PM
I'll just share a funny "fight" story from about 7 or 8 years ago or so.

I was doing a job(installing bleachers) in LaCrosse, WI with a crew made up of 3 people I went to high school with and 2 other guys that worked with us. We were a pretty drunk and rowdy bunch that basically got up early each day, worked long hours, and then went out to chase tail and get loaded, not necessarily in that order. Working out of town constantly lends itself to that.

Anyways we got to this bar called Brothers, and it was the 3rd we hit that night so we all had to hit the john and there was a line. The boss goes first and gets out, I go next and find him afterwards near the front door of the bar. There's a fat girl standing alone 3 feet from him and he says to me, "What do you think of her?" and points at her. Now I'm half in the bag and I don't want to be mean so I think of the nicest thing I could say about her in my condition and spit out, "She looks like Delta Burke, but not as fat." Mind you this was meant to be a compliment because she was fatter than Delta Burke, and the beast should have took it as such. Unfortunately she didn't and the next thing I know she hits me with a right hook. At this point 2 of the other guys from the crew were coming up to us. I crank my head back around and look at this fatty, bewildered, and she proceeds to throw another right hook at me which glances off the side of my head as I sort of saw it coming this time. At that point she's standing there enraged and panting because it was probably the best workout she's had in years not counting curling beers by the dozen, and shoving food into her face, and I say to the boss, "We had better go so I don't end up beating up a girl." He agreed, the other guys found us and we walked out the door laughing hysterically. Had I not had a gigantic Croatian head and been a fairly big dude she probably would have dropped me, and thank god she didn't because I never would have lived that down.

Let this be a lesson to you playgrounders, some chicks just don't know how to take a compliment.
FastKnockout
6/27/12 12:30:36PM
Most of mine was in middle school. As I grew up I became more level headed and found I didn't like altercations as much as I used to.

The only issue I had was a guy sucker punching me my first year of high school at the local skating rink after school. Him and some of his friends kept trying to pick a fight with me the whole night but I ignored them as best as I could. But as me and a friend were leaving the group of guys was huddled outside the entrance as we passed but never said anything. Next thing I know someone grabs my shoulder and hits me square on my left eye. My vision was blurry from the shock and blood but the guy ran after he hit me.

I was only 14 or 15 at the time and the other guy was 18. People said he hit me with brass knuckled but I don't know if that's true or not. My eye was pretty messed up. Blood everywhere, cheek bone swollen, no vision in my eye. I stayed at a friend's house for the weekend so my parents wouldn't see. Thinking back on it now I should've went to the hospital in case my vision never came back. Eye ended up healing back perfectly, though.
kopower
6/27/12 1:42:47PM

Posted by cowcatcher

I'll just share a funny "fight" story from about 7 or 8 years ago or so.

I was doing a job(installing bleachers) in LaCrosse, WI with a crew made up of 3 people I went to high school with and 2 other guys that worked with us. We were a pretty drunk and rowdy bunch that basically got up early each day, worked long hours, and then went out to chase tail and get loaded, not necessarily in that order. Working out of town constantly lends itself to that.

Anyways we got to this bar called Brothers, and it was the 3rd we hit that night so we all had to hit the john and there was a line. The boss goes first and gets out, I go next and find him afterwards near the front door of the bar. There's a fat girl standing alone 3 feet from him and he says to me, "What do you think of her?" and points at her. Now I'm half in the bag and I don't want to be mean so I think of the nicest thing I could say about her in my condition and spit out, "She looks like Delta Burke, but not as fat." Mind you this was meant to be a compliment because she was fatter than Delta Burke, and the beast should have took it as such. Unfortunately she didn't and the next thing I know she hits me with a right hook. At this point 2 of the other guys from the crew were coming up to us. I crank my head back around and look at this fatty, bewildered, and she proceeds to throw another right hook at me which glances off the side of my head as I sort of saw it coming this time. At that point she's standing there enraged and panting because it was probably the best workout she's had in years not counting curling beers by the dozen, and shoving food into her face, and I say to the boss, "We had better go so I don't end up beating up a girl." He agreed, the other guys found us and we walked out the door laughing hysterically. Had I not had a gigantic Croatian head and been a fairly big dude she probably would have dropped me, and thank god she didn't because I never would have lived that down.

Let this be a lesson to you playgrounders, some chicks just don't know how to take a compliment.



I used to work with a few people from Wisconsin, and one evening they took me out for a night at some local Sconi watering holes. I can't remember the town, but it was just across from Taylors Falls a few miles. Anyway, they loved the fat chicks, and loved hoggin. Just in case someone doesn't know what hoggin is, you basically pick a fat chick up at a bar, take her home, get her naked, start kissing her, and tell her how fat she is, and how it turns you on. When she gets pissed, you hold on for dear life and ride her out. Anyways, that's what your story reminds me of, except the hog got her revenge.
KungFuMaster
6/27/12 1:52:37PM
I figured most of you are good folks with good heads.

My other story.

This was well after high school. I had move away from where I used to live. The guys I grew up with were still in the same area. I visit them every now and then to hang out. Across the street from where they lived, a massive field was being cleared for the building of a new freeway.

One evening while I was hanging out with the guys at their hood, we decided to hop the fence and play in this massive field. We were just hanging out and chilling and we spotted three Mexicans. One was a grown adult and the other two looked to be in their teens (high school years).

I wasn't paying attention to what was being discussed between the guys. Apparently, they wanted to pick a fight with those three Mexicans. I was distraught by the news and questioned their motives. They simply said they wanted to kick the Mexicans' asses and said so in very prejudicial and racial tones. I tried to convince them not to do it but the mob had made up its minds already.

I didn't feel good about this.. I knew it was wrong but I let it happened.

Long story short. When the fight commenced, only another guy and I stayed to fight. The rest of them scurried away into hiding. What could have been 10 on 3 quickly turned into 2 on 3. My partner took on the biggest dude and I took on the middle dude who is actually a little bigger than I am. My opponent and I weren't really engaging. We were simply holding our position and next thing I knew - I got clobbered and it dazed me. I don't know if it was a 2x4 or a baseball bat - but I did see one of them swinging something around while I was stumbling and trying to get out of there.

The moral of the story is - I knew it was wrong and I let it happened ...and I paid the price for it with a few stitches. When I reflect on this incident, I cannot help but think it was my fault. I should have done more to stop it and I didn't which was why I took the fall.

I stopped hanging out with those guys ever since. They were raised differently than I was and we really don't share the same philosophies on life. This incident further pushed me to know where I want to go in life and who I want to be. God taught me a great lesson.

We'll call this fight a no contest.
mrsmiley
6/27/12 2:01:29PM
My brother had a big scrap when he was in jr. high. The thing was the guys he was fighting were much older (from what I herd in the 20's or so) He had 2 friends with him but they where too scared to jump in.
Which my brother said later he was glad they didn't because they just would have been hurt.

Anyway's his friends dad had a booth at the local flea market. Something happened talking crap or so. My brother called them out.

He beat the crap out of the first guy from what I herd. Real tall guy. He said they guy punched him once and he was seeing double. He ripped tall guys shirt off,knocked him to the ground and then proceeded to kick him in the face with his steel toe boots.
His friends said the guy started crying and gasping for air (yeah they said it was that nasty). Then he kicked the guy in the chest an uncountable amount of times as he rolled around on the ground. Then the guys friend ran out and sucker punched my brother. It messed him up but from then on he was the tough guy in school for taking out a grown man.........But man me and my dad where pissed!

I'm just happy we can look back on it and laugh now.
ghandikush
6/27/12 2:12:46PM
Had a few brief slobberknockers in middle school, none in highschool, and after I did bareknuckle boxing against a guy, ear cup slap knockout after a coule to the body, full contact grappling ankle pop after attempted slam, did some less contact boxing 80 percent or so, just no hail mays.

bareknuckle was a ko in a minute or so -1
grappling was a sub in a minute or so - 1
went 5-0 in the backyard one day with serious boxing - 5
I trained mma and took many asskicking is sparring and grappling, but we never seriously went at it, for those full on sparring sessions I took two bad beatings. Both were professional guys, one was mma the other kickboxing. 0-2

7-2 not counting a lot of lighter things or school things, not counting folkstyle wrestling jj judo or muay thai.

I'm only really proud of my two asskickings and my victory boxing a golden gloves guy who made the mistake of letting himself get out of shape. Beating up amatures fluffs the ego but is ctually kind of regrettable.

Gogoplatapus
6/27/12 2:25:44PM
Just a guess, probably 12-3. took an L in grade 7, got jumped in grade 11 or 12, soccer kicked in a brawl probably 4 years ago...

I was a cunt as a kid. Starting shit for no reason type shit

I did KTFO a guy in a bar who backed me into a corner. that was satisfying.
frizzzlecake
6/27/12 3:26:16PM
16,000-0
All by Armbar.

I am Rickson's idol.
Adrenaline
6/27/12 3:46:06PM

Posted by Pookie

. When i cum i violently maim pigeons.





So I was coaching baseball today and a seagull kept diving bombing the field while we were playing, I could have used your splooging skills to knock that bastard out of the sky.



KungFuMaster
6/27/12 4:06:55PM

Posted by Pookie

My penis is so large that when i lay down KungfuMaster himself is not even capable of leaping over my erected monument.



I'll have you know I have leaped over puddles, 4 square lines, and the most impressive of them all - broken side walk lines. That's right - broken side walk lines. Do you know what can happen if you cannot make the leap? You'll fall short and you could possibly put a scratch on your tennis shoes. Do you know what that could do to a growing boy's ego? Lives are at stake here and only the best of the best will attempt such dangerous jumps. I was one of the elite jumpers of my generation. I completed a jump so dangerous - even Evel Knievel would not dare attempt such suicide. I hopped - no.....hop is such an understatement. I LEAPED from one branch to another. You really have to have great physical abilities e.g. hand-eye coordination of a eagle, arms of a monkey, legs of a kangaroo, and great air balance to do what I do. If I was doing such jumps while wearing no article of clothing, one could easily mistaken me for a leopard, a chimp, or a flying squirrel - it all depends on the angle in which one is looking.

cowcatcher
6/27/12 4:17:26PM

Posted by kopower


Posted by cowcatcher

I'll just share a funny "fight" story from about 7 or 8 years ago or so.

I was doing a job(installing bleachers) in LaCrosse, WI with a crew made up of 3 people I went to high school with and 2 other guys that worked with us. We were a pretty drunk and rowdy bunch that basically got up early each day, worked long hours, and then went out to chase tail and get loaded, not necessarily in that order. Working out of town constantly lends itself to that.

Anyways we got to this bar called Brothers, and it was the 3rd we hit that night so we all had to hit the john and there was a line. The boss goes first and gets out, I go next and find him afterwards near the front door of the bar. There's a fat girl standing alone 3 feet from him and he says to me, "What do you think of her?" and points at her. Now I'm half in the bag and I don't want to be mean so I think of the nicest thing I could say about her in my condition and spit out, "She looks like Delta Burke, but not as fat." Mind you this was meant to be a compliment because she was fatter than Delta Burke, and the beast should have took it as such. Unfortunately she didn't and the next thing I know she hits me with a right hook. At this point 2 of the other guys from the crew were coming up to us. I crank my head back around and look at this fatty, bewildered, and she proceeds to throw another right hook at me which glances off the side of my head as I sort of saw it coming this time. At that point she's standing there enraged and panting because it was probably the best workout she's had in years not counting curling beers by the dozen, and shoving food into her face, and I say to the boss, "We had better go so I don't end up beating up a girl." He agreed, the other guys found us and we walked out the door laughing hysterically. Had I not had a gigantic Croatian head and been a fairly big dude she probably would have dropped me, and thank god she didn't because I never would have lived that down.

Let this be a lesson to you playgrounders, some chicks just don't know how to take a compliment.



I used to work with a few people from Wisconsin, and one evening they took me out for a night at some local Sconi watering holes. I can't remember the town, but it was just across from Taylors Falls a few miles. Anyway, they loved the fat chicks, and loved hoggin. Just in case someone doesn't know what hoggin is, you basically pick a fat chick up at a bar, take her home, get her naked, start kissing her, and tell her how fat she is, and how it turns you on. When she gets pissed, you hold on for dear life and ride her out. Anyways, that's what your story reminds me of, except the hog got her revenge.



My boss at the time(a friend I've known since kindergarten) is one of those guys, if it has a pulse he would bang it. Me, I've been known to in a pinch, but with this chick he just put me on the spot and I was pretty shitfaced. It was honestly the best I could do with 2 seconds to react in my state.

Being a drinker in a drinking city, I have plenty of fight stories, but a fat chick hitting me tops the list IMO.
Boo_Radley21
6/27/12 4:27:34PM

Posted by jae_1833

Nice to see your all a bunch of really good guys with enormously sized penises.....me, I am a fighter not a lover. Average sized white military issued penis, however I am an asshole who has been in countless streetfights my whole life. Raised in an ethnic side of town I have been even stabbed a couple of times, shot at a few times too, before I joined and especially afterwards as I was a Marine in all male ground combat units. My record is unknown as I never really counted but I did well as I have always been training. Wrestling and boxing in high school, muay thai and bjj in the Marines. I usually win as I am decently sized (6'1" and 215) and actually know how to scrap. Plus I know the difference between hurt and injured, lastly I do pick my battles well from experiences in my youth. I still get in street fights/ bar fights every now and again and I am 34 years old married with three kids.



I challenge you
emfleek
6/27/12 4:39:00PM
0-0-0
Bubbles
6/27/12 7:45:34PM
I can barely win a street fight unless I'm Zangief
ChrisSabal
6/27/12 9:12:48PM
1/4-0-0

I don't know if you can call it a fight exactly but what happened is I was getting pretty heated during a sports game, I believe baseball, and a group of guys through the game just kept making fun of me. It was also a hot day and hot days always seems to be the times when I get mad. But back to the story. So finally I snapped and started yelling at everyone. Not like screaming yelling but like stop I'm sick of this yell. So everyone is quiet after this and then 10 seconds later a kid made a smart ass comment so I ran over to him. Took him down. Hammerfisted him 3-4 times in the nose. Bloodied him up and walked off.

Believe it or not I'm kind of friends with the guy today. This was back like Junior year of high school.

Now being a Sophmore in college I've been close to being in fights but they never happen because I walk away. I'm not losing my college education over a fight.
sbulldavid
6/27/12 10:13:51PM
I've knocked out around a 100 people and I've punched holes in a lot of cheeks and broken a lot of ribs. I don't fight I call it the 5 second blood bath.
lohmann
6/27/12 11:39:33PM

Posted by emfleek

0-0-0



Undefeated. Best record I have seen so far.
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