Movie Review: Paranormal Activity

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three_days_of_grey
11/4/09 1:45:16PM
My Ratings System based on Midgets and Hot Dogs.
Midgets

1 Midget - This movie was cool.

2 Midgets - A pleasantly surprising movie.

3 Midgets - Really cool movie. Had a story /made me laugh.

Circus Midgets - Totally entertaining. You should see it before it leaves town.

Midget Porn - A "Must See" before you die.

-AND-

Hot Dogs:

Hot Dog Water - This movie f'in stinks.

1 Hot Dog - Left a real bad taste in my mouth.

2 Hot Dogs - So bad it just might kill me.

3 Hot Dogs - So bad I just might kill myself.

Hot Dog Shake - If you enjoy it, you have no taste whatsoever, and you make me f'in sick.

OTHER:


Midget Eating a Hot Dog - Movie is entertaining if you can look past the hot dog.

Beans N Franks - Took what would have been a decent movie and f'd it all up.

Cast:
Katie Featherston as "Looks Cute in One Scene and Fugly in the Next" Katie.
Micah Sloat as A/V Club Reject Micah Pronounced Meekuh.
Some weird dude as the "Psychic"
Some Homely Chick as "Here To Make Female Lead Attractive" Annoying Friend.

Plot:
A young couple move into a new house where they experience strange events, such as hearing footsteps and knocking. The b/f begins setting up his video camera to record the "paraboring activity".

Summary:
When the movie first began, I honestly thought it was a low-budget porno. Even my g/f rasied an eyebrow at me thinking I was trying to pull a fast one on her. Alas, I was not although I would have been much happier in the end.
This movie was very very slow. So slow in fact I actually skipped scenes in the beginning of the movie. Don't worry: You can do this and still know what's going on.
A good chunk of the movie is spent watching the couple sleep while their video camera is trained on the doorway. Everytime they hear a noise, they jump out of bed, grab the camera, and walk around the house looking at nothing except thier yuppie furniture. Eventually the g/f tells the b/f that she has had a "demon" following her around since she was a child. He is flabbergasted that she would refrain from bringing that up. There are a couple of scenes where Katie is "possessed" by the demon and does some wicked things that include walking outside and sitting in a chair!!!!! Oh the humanity. They decide to call a psychic who asks them some personal questions forcing me to fast forward the movie.
Micah wants to contact the demon with an Ouija board but Katie refuses to participate. He brings it in anyway while antogonizing the demon by calling it a wimp or other lame insults. The couple get into a fight about it and Katie storms out of the house with Micah right behind her. The camera is still trained on the Ouija board. Soon the cursor on the board begins spinning and the houseplants shake like in a mild breeze. The board catches on fire. A message is burned into the board and Micah tries in vain to decipher it: I used a magnifying glass on the screen and it clearly says, "Cha-ching. Thanks for the money, Suckers! Sincerely, the Producers."
Micah then puts some powder on the floor to see if anything walks into the room. They wake up when they hear a noise and freak when they see that indeed the powder has footsteps though it leading to a closet with an open access door to the attic. Micah climbs up but I fast forwarded it. Turns out that nothing happens at the same speed regardless of film velocity.
So the couple are in bed again and Katie is possessed again and goes downstairs. She screams. MIcah runs downstairs, this time leaving the camera. So now all you can see is thier bedroom while listening to him scream and then some loud thumps. Soon Katie walks back upstairs with blood on her shirt and a kitchen knife in her hands. You must assume that Micah is dead because you never again see the downstairs level in this movie. She sits by the bed and begins rocking back and forth like Rain Man right before Wapner comes on. She sits and sits and sits and sits. Finally you hear the phone ring and her friend leaves a voice mail. She sits and sits and sits and rocks. There is knocking and her friend can be heard coming in the house and calling out for Katie. You can hear her friend scream when she apparently finds Micah's dead body. The friends leaves. Katie is still sitting and rocking. There is more knocking at the door, this time by the po-po. Thye come in and call in the body to HQ and then head upstairs. They see Katie. She finally stops rocking, gets up and says, "Micah". She approaches the officers and they tell her to drop the weapon. She doesn't and they kill her ass dead as ****. End of movie except for a lame dedication to the fallen couple.

Review: This movie sucked like a hooker with a hare-lip. It tries desperately to be like the Blair Witch Project but fails miserably. The tension/anticipation that the Blair Witch created just wasn't there. Although I had heard that some men were frightened by this movie at no point was I scared, apprehensive, nervous, afraid..whatever. If you are a man and were scared, you need to turn in your man-card immediately and accept a vagina as your parting gift.
The acting was decent although there was one scene while they are in bed where Katie's dialogue was so horrible it was like watching a 3rd grade class perform a Shakespeare work. Okay, so it wasn't quite that bad...but I felt awkward for her.
The movie tries to pass itself off as "real" much like the BWP did, but once again pales in comparision to BWP. (In case you're wondering, I though BWP was amazing in terms of marketing but the movie itself was disappointing overall.)

Rating: Beans n' Franks. This movie had potential but was about as scary as an episode of TAPS or Ghost Hunters.

-OUT-

emfleek
11/4/09 1:55:36PM

Soon Katie walks back upstairs with blood on her shirt and a kitchen knife in her hands. You must assume that Micah is dead because you never again see the downstairs level in this movie. She sits by the bed and begins rocking back and forth like Rain Man right before Wapner comes on. She sits and sits and sits and sits. Finally you hear the phone ring and her friend leaves a voice mail. She sits and sits and sits and rocks. There is knocking and her friend can be heard coming in the house and calling out for Katie. You can hear her friend scream when she apparently finds Micah's dead body. The friends leaves. Katie is still sitting and rocking. There is more knocking at the door, this time by the po-po. Thye come in and call in the body to HQ and then head upstairs. They see Katie. She finally stops rocking, gets up and says, "Micah". She approaches the officers and they tell her to drop the weapon. She doesn't and they kill her ass dead as ****. End of movie except for a lame dedication to the fallen couple.


Did we watch the same movie? This isn't at all what happened when I watched it. When I watched it, she screamed and Micah ran downstairs. For a few moments, everything was silent and then his body is thrown at the camera. Katie enters the room, gets down on the floor and started to smell (?) Micah. She then looked up at the camera and smiled, apparently possessed at the time. Fade to black and then a message pops up...

"Micah's body was found 3 days later by friends. Katie's whereabouts are still unknown..."


Review: This movie sucked like a hooker with a hare-lip. It tries desperately to be like the Blair Witch Project but fails miserably. The tension/anticipation that the Blair Witch created just wasn't there. Although I had heard that some men were frightened by this movie at no point was I scared, apprehensive, nervous, afraid..whatever. If you are a man and were scared, you need to turn in your man-card immediately and accept a vagina as your parting gift.
The acting was decent although there was one scene while they are in bed where Katie's dialogue was so horrible it was like watching a 3rd grade class perform a Shakespeare work. Okay, so it wasn't quite that bad...but I felt awkward for her.
The movie tries to pass itself off as "real" much like the BWP did, but once again pales in comparision to BWP. (In case you're wondering, I though BWP was amazing in terms of marketing but the movie itself was disappointing overall.)

Rating: Beans n' Franks. This movie had potential but was about as scary as an episode of TAPS or Ghost Hunters.

-OUT-



I didn't think it was bad at all. In fact, it was a nice change of pace in regards to "scary" movies.
grappler0000
11/4/09 1:57:59PM

Posted by emfleek

Did we watch the same movie? This isn't at all what happened when I watched it. When I watched it, she screamed and Micah ran downstairs. For a few moments, everything was silent and then his body is thrown at the camera. Katie enters the room, gets down on the floor and started to smell (?) Micah. She then looked up at the camera and smiled, apparently possessed at the time. Fade to black and then a message pops up... "Micah's body was found 3 days later by friends. Katie's whereabouts are still unknown..."



He didn't watch the theatrical release...he watched the original screener from 2007 that was leaked to the internet a couple of weeks ago.
emfleek
11/4/09 2:00:59PM

Posted by grappler0000


Posted by emfleek

Did we watch the same movie? This isn't at all what happened when I watched it. When I watched it, she screamed and Micah ran downstairs. For a few moments, everything was silent and then his body is thrown at the camera. Katie enters the room, gets down on the floor and started to smell (?) Micah. She then looked up at the camera and smiled, apparently possessed at the time. Fade to black and then a message pops up... "Micah's body was found 3 days later by friends. Katie's whereabouts are still unknown..."



He didn't watch the theatrical release...he watched the original screener from 2007 that was leaked to the internet a couple of weeks ago.



Yeah, I just read the other thread on page 2 and found this out. I didn't know there were 2 releases.

The original ending sounds bad. The theatrical release ending was tight.
grappler0000
11/4/09 2:09:03PM

Posted by emfleek


Posted by grappler0000


Posted by emfleek

Did we watch the same movie? This isn't at all what happened when I watched it. When I watched it, she screamed and Micah ran downstairs. For a few moments, everything was silent and then his body is thrown at the camera. Katie enters the room, gets down on the floor and started to smell (?) Micah. She then looked up at the camera and smiled, apparently possessed at the time. Fade to black and then a message pops up... "Micah's body was found 3 days later by friends. Katie's whereabouts are still unknown..."



He didn't watch the theatrical release...he watched the original screener from 2007 that was leaked to the internet a couple of weeks ago.



Yeah, I just read the other thread on page 2 and found this out. I didn't know there were 2 releases.

The original ending sounds bad. The theatrical release ending was tight.



There was actually another ending as well where she cuts her own throat in the bedroom, but I haven't seen that one yet...I'm assuming it will be on the DVD.
grappler0000
11/4/09 2:39:35PM

Posted by emfleek


Review: This movie sucked like a hooker with a hare-lip. It tries desperately to be like the Blair Witch Project but fails miserably. The tension/anticipation that the Blair Witch created just wasn't there. Although I had heard that some men were frightened by this movie at no point was I scared, apprehensive, nervous, afraid..whatever. If you are a man and were scared, you need to turn in your man-card immediately and accept a vagina as your parting gift.
The acting was decent although there was one scene while they are in bed where Katie's dialogue was so horrible it was like watching a 3rd grade class perform a Shakespeare work. Okay, so it wasn't quite that bad...but I felt awkward for her.
The movie tries to pass itself off as "real" much like the BWP did, but once again pales in comparision to BWP. (In case you're wondering, I though BWP was amazing in terms of marketing but the movie itself was disappointing overall.)

Rating: Beans n' Franks. This movie had potential but was about as scary as an episode of TAPS or Ghost Hunters.

-OUT-



I didn't think it was bad at all. In fact, it was a nice change of pace in regards to "scary" movies.



I totally concur.

I'd also like to add that your experience watching a horror movie is directly related to the environment you put yourself in. The best viewing experience is either in a dark theater (hoping the best that there are no a**holes in the audience) or at home at night in a dark room...prefereably with your wife/gf. Unless said movie also crosses over as being a thriller, comedy, or action movie, I can't imagine it could be that enjoyable. Also, if you've got you're finger on the FF button, you're not really giving the movie a chance...part of what makes a good horror movie is letting yourself get wrapped up in it and letting your mind play tricks on you.

I guess I get to keep my man-card, since it didn't really scare me or make me jump or give me nightmares for that matter...but no horror movie ever does that and yet I love watching them. Go figure. On the other hand, I enjoy watching them with my wife for the same reason I enjoy going to haunted houses with her...because she gets the sh*t scared out of her. It's much easier to rate how scary a movie is by a female's reaction. And the reactions I saw in the theater were priceless to say the least.

To make certain comparisons to BWP is natural, but to insinuate that PA is a ripoff of it isn't fair either. Yes, BWP made the camcorder style horror film popular, but dozens of movies have done it since...some better than others of coarse. But to say that about every movie that has used that format since wouldn't be right...the popularity and hype of BWP basically created a sub-genre when other film makers tried their hand at it. But even BWP wasn't the first to do it. Cannibal Holocaust beat em to the punch by a couple of decades.

Everyone is different when it comes to scary movies. PA happens to rank fairly high on my list of horror flicks...and I've seen my fair share. The wife and I usually watch 20-25 horror movies every October. To those that say this movie sucked because it didn't scare them, what movie truly scared you then? Again this is where people will differ. I hear people talk about how the Exorcist was scary, but for me personally, I thought it was pretty tame...and a bit ridiculous to be honest. To each their own. When you consider that PA couldn't utilize a scary soundtrack (i.e. Jaws, F-13th) to intensify suspense and didn't stoop to typical Hollywood tricks to make you jump (except for possibly the last scene of the theatrical release), I would say they did a pretty damn good job with making a creepy film. It was a slow build up, but given the proper environment and an actual chance, I believe it delivers.

Edit:
With that said, it's not a movie that I see myself watching every Halloween, but I still enjoyed it.
george112
11/4/09 2:58:23PM
movie seriously didnt live up to the hype for me.

yea it kind of creeped me out.but the only time i was ever really scared due to the movie was after i had just got done with my pipe.every little noise freaked me out a little

but i do agree with fleek.it was a nice change of pace.and i enjoyed the movie.i just kind of almost ruined it for myself because of my very high expectations.


also i didnt really like every "scary" part being while they sleep.this to me made the movie way to predictable.everytime it showed them sleeping i was like ok now i know something is going to happen.
Jackelope
11/4/09 4:10:06PM
It seems like the internet version must not be that good at all. I haven't heard from anybody who liked it.

Also, it seems that as time goes on and as the hype surrounds this movie it is getting worse and worse reviews.

I saw it at a great time, and the girl I was with was scared to death. Good enough for me. It gets a thumbs up
cowcatcher
11/4/09 4:12:20PM
all i know is three days of grey has built the better mousetrap by updating the old rating system of using thumbs.
KaibaThedon
11/4/09 5:35:02PM
i didnt think it was awful... i tried to get lost in it, and it was actually ok
Aaronno9
11/4/09 6:59:44PM
I got the internet version and really enjoyed it. Me and all my friends all wrote off our underwear watching it for the first time.
Drudinh
11/5/09 5:02:22AM
Overrated. I hope 4th kind is good. I'll check it out tomorrow
warglory
11/5/09 5:42:56PM
How many of you actually watched this in the theater? If you watch it at home on your computer, that is almost the worst thing that you could possibly do...ever.
emfleek
11/5/09 7:44:45PM

Posted by warglory

How many of you actually watched this in the theater? If you watch it at home on your computer, that is almost the worst thing that you could possibly do...ever.



I watched it at the theatre. This is one of those movies that you have to watch in total darkness with a kickass surround sound system.
Aaronno9
11/6/09 2:31:27AM

Posted by warglory

How many of you actually watched this in the theater? If you watch it at home on your computer, that is almost the worst thing that you could possibly do...ever.




I watched it on my T.V - and I watched it at like 3am with the house to myself. I think it was more effective when I was laying awake till 8am until it was light outside before I felt safe enough to sleep than for the jump factor throughout the film for sure lol. But ill be checking it out again at the cinema for sure. I read that the full film has been changed slightly to give it a more "hollywood scare" feel for the cinema. Not out here till the end of the month though .
Hendo67
11/6/09 6:06:30PM
Saw this a few days ago, pretty crazy movie...(I'm not big on scary/jumpy movies), i nearly popped out a few cosby kids at a few parts (Door slamming, that picture they find).
It took a while to get started but the last 3/4 of the movie were pretty good...kept me on the edge of my seat.
Drudinh
11/10/09 6:29:45AM
In the theater an says this guy. Same with the fourth kind

Zombieland though
Just saw it finally and it was worth it.
Thefridge1337
11/11/09 10:23:55AM
did anyone else notice all the water bottles when ever anything happened? under the ouija board there was one, in the bedroom they had them on the night stand, in the kitchen when they heard the big boom from up stairs they had them. I could be over analyzing but thats all i could thing about after was why so many water bottles and did they play a part?
cmill21
11/11/09 1:50:50PM
I've seen it in theatres and at home....waaaaaay scarier in theatres.
george112
11/11/09 2:05:02PM

Posted by cmill21

I've seen it in theatres and at home....waaaaaay scarier in theatres.



damn bro.

havent seen you post ina while.

welcome back
Aaronno9
11/13/09 6:17:22PM
Just got back from seeing this at the cinema. Its saying something that it was the third time I saw it, and I was still totally freaked out all the way through. I found I was alot more scared watching at home though. Although thats probably down to the fact that, like I say, it was 3 in the morning and I had the house to myself! Combined with a totally over-active imagination and a cat that can open doors - well lets just say I didnt get alot of sleep that night. Im not expecting much tonight either .

The new ending made me physically jump out of my seat! Its one of those images thats going to stay with me forever, alongside Regan crabwalking down the stairs in The Exorcist and Severus Snape Murdering poor Dumbledoor in Harry Potter
mrsmiley
11/18/09 10:17:09AM
I finaly got around to seeing this movie.
Yes,yes,I know.It took me long enough.

I haven't read any of the previous post because I don't want them to influence my opionion of the film,but I look foward to doing so after writing this.

First and foremost I will say I did like the movie.
Though the road was rather bumpy along the way with a moderate amount of ups and downs.
I'll start off with what I didn't like.

1.The boyfriend.

I'm sorry,but the character I strongly thought was just done terribly. Too unrealistic for my taste. I understand the whole notion of him being the "man" of the house and wanting to deal with this problem without any outside help,but in film and book their are much better examples of how to build a character with that mind set. He was only believable to me at the movies opening and within the last 20 minutes of the film. For the inbetween part of the film he was a failed attempt at keeping us suspended within the horror of the situation.
I think they should have focused more on the hoplessness of the situation rather than his stuborness. Though I do understand you have to take into context the film was shot by him for the majority of the film. The way in which it was shot,not to mention the film didn't catch "everything" said between the two also must be taken into account.

2. I thought a few of the scenes were more comical than scary.
Like the EVP segment were it sounds like the demon responds to him asking about the ouija board.

Other than that I really liked this movie.The ending I thought was amazing and is what made the movie for me personaly.
I watched the original ending after seeing the theatrical and I must say I prefered the theatrical.It had more of a big movie climatic ending,but I feel that if they would have stayed with the original ending it would have been somewhat of a letdown.

The movie did have some really good,scary moments though,and in the end I gotta say it

in an kind of way.
D0wnUnd6e6r
11/18/09 4:45:40PM
The most overhyped movie of the decade, IMO it was a total waste of time, very happy i downloaded it and didnt waste 10$ on it. 2/10
mrsmiley
11/20/09 7:07:40AM

Posted by Thefridge1337

did anyone else notice all the water bottles when ever anything happened? under the ouija board there was one, in the bedroom they had them on the night stand, in the kitchen when they heard the big boom from up stairs they had them. I could be over analyzing but thats all i could thing about after was why so many water bottles and did they play a part?



I can't wait to watch it again so I can check that out.
D0wnUnd6e6r
11/20/09 7:36:39AM

Posted by Thefridge1337

did anyone else notice all the water bottles when ever anything happened? under the ouija board there was one, in the bedroom they had them on the night stand, in the kitchen when they heard the big boom from up stairs they had them. I could be over analyzing but thats all i could thing about after was why so many water bottles and did they play a part?



hehe, your talking about the movie like it was actual footage from a real live event. Lots of my friends were also trying to convince me that it was a real thing and what not... I just laugh lol
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