mmap: zombie survival thread

---

Posted by Jackelope

I can argue with my own life as evidence that AK's will jam and that they're not accurate at 300m. AK's are complete crap just like any other weapon is if you don't maintain them. The fact that it will shoot when covered in mud is just an excuse to be lazy and not maintain your weapon. Just get a good weapon and maintain it. I'd rather have a common bolt action hunting rifle with a much more common ammo type or a lever action brush gun vs. Zombies if we're talking distance to be honest. Fully auto is only good for suppression, and I don't think Zombies give a damn or feel fear enough to care whether they're being suppressed or not. Outside of 50 yards or so I guarantee you no one on this board can hit with significant accuracy while shooting on fully auto. Especially with an AK. It's hard to hit with regular accuracy laying prone with a machine gun on bipod legs. Usually only the first round or two will hit the target. Now add adrenaline, standing position, poorly fitted parts, and an unbalanced weapon into the equation and your stats are laughable. Trust me, there would be a lot more dead American soldiers if AK's were as good of a weapon as some people build them up to seem like they are.

---

Thanks for the info on guns Jackelope. I posted what I did based on all the anecdotal evidence that AKs were very reliable. I just assumed the comparisons that I listened to in the past were clean-well maintained gun vs. clean-well maintained gun.

I have no experience firing a gun myself (except a shotgun once when I was a kid and the recoil ended up contributing to me getting a fat lip). lol when I move to the bay area, if I am ever in Arizona, I'll look you up and you can teach me about guns.

The problem with a shotgun is that one rounds going to alert every zombie in the area. The slower reload times and lack of capacity means once your swamped your finished. A fully auto weapon or shotgun would be a last resort for me. A nice bolt action hunting rifle and supressed pistol would be ideal, mabeys with a laser sight since most people wouldnt beable to hit a head shot with a pistol. Now ive got no idea how hard that would be to come across in the states, I know in England it would be almost impossible for the average person. Thats why I went with crossbow becouse at least id beable to get a hold of one, unless everybody else had the same idea.

Firecrackers
Pizza
Kazoos

What Zombie doesn't like a pizza party?

http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html


well, my idea is that most of the time if im out i'd be running. melee weapons are almost useless, im not risking getting bodily fluids on me. i want a gun that can be wielded in a very short range just in case. things like propane tanks, gasoline, pipes, glass, nails and household items can be used to make decent explosives.

i would also build traps, remember battles in the civil war were won because of 3 feet fences. Also a huge emphasis on first aid kits and medicine and avoiding injuries, think of how a small cut or scrape could cause havoc and possibly kill you without proper care, especially with melee weapons, and the energy required to wield such is not an efficient way to kill zombies. think of how much food youd need to eat to maintain that type of activity. which you wont have.

I'd also find out libraries and find good books on medicine, and food.

---

Posted by Aaronno9

The problem with a shotgun is that one rounds going to alert every zombie in the area.

---

Over a distance shotguns really aren't that much louder than any other non-suppressed weapon.

Also- if you had a common caliber pistol... say a .40, .45 or 9mm, it would be absolutely no problem to find ammo in the states. Probably 1/4 houses would have ammo for one of those. The only problem is that I'm not sure a Zombie would be stopped by any of those outside of a shot to the head. The .45 would probably knock them back pretty good if you were using hammerheads or something of that nature, though.

This is all compared to a shotgun or bolt action rifle, btw. If you hit someone with a 7mm mag bolt action rifle there is most likely going to be limbs flying or giant holes blasted even if you hit them from 600m or so. I can speak from experience that even if you hit a human from 600m away in the foot with a bolt action rifle they will die 9/10 times. With the shotgun If you hit them from 5 feet away with 00 buck from a shotgun.. well, there will be entire bodies flying backwards for a couple of feet. Close range if you've got a pump action sawed off and your reload speed was good enough you could do some serious, serious damage for a sustained amount of time with a 12 gauge. In order to keep this defense it is important to have closed off routes of approach with lots of approach-visibility. You could pick Zombies off starting at around 800m (if you're a military level Sniper shooter) or 500m if you're a good shooter with the bolt action rifle. Then, when the zombies get within 50 yards or so (depending on their movement speed) you could switch it up to the 12 gauge and get ready to rumble. Force 'em down a hallway and have at 'em.

This is pretty much exactly what I'm trained to do from the military.. so I get into these tactical debates pretty heavily

Maybe what we should be doing is delegating our speciaties and team up against the zombies. lol

Jackelope certainly has tactical training

and I am a biochemist and am trained in a number of melee weapons.


Anyone else got specific skills that would help in killin' zombies?

im trained in dr steve brule's last resort fighting, with my forte being "kill em with kindness" if that helps. last resortlink

also im trained in the age old art of zombie seduction, you should see some of the zombies ive gone home with at bar close over the years.

I have an expired "Crisis Intervention Training" certiciate, mean BBQ skills and a masturbation habit.*







* don't eat the BBQ.

---

Posted by emfleek

I have an expired "Crisis Intervention Training" certiciate, mean BBQ skills and a masturbation habit.*







* don't eat the BBQ.

---

Perfect, you and cowcatcher can seduce and/or masturbate the zombies while Rush develops a vaccine for the Zombie virus! I guess that kind of makes me useless, but I've seen Zombie porn before and I don't mind sitting on the sidelines watching it again

---

Posted by Jackelope

---

Posted by emfleek

I have an expired "Crisis Intervention Training" certiciate, mean BBQ skills and a masturbation habit.*







* don't eat the BBQ.

---

Perfect, you and cowcatcher can seduce and/or masturbate the zombies while Rush develops a vaccine for the Zombie virus! I guess that kind of makes me useless, but I've seen Zombie porn before and I don't mind sitting on the sidelines watching it again

---

lots of good information is really pouring in here now, finally a fool proof plan is on the table.

Ha, well im not going to argue with you about weapons Jackelope. Im all about the stealth when the outbreak arives though! All my gameplans involve the slow stupid zombies like the first Resident Evil game though. If im up against those bastards from 28 days later, im screwed!

<--- germaphobe.

Well obviously our opinions on the AK-47 are drastically different. No biggie, it's still what I would carry. I think a melee weapon is also a must, something that can likely sever a head in a single swipe, that's why I chose Machette, it can also be used as a general tool. There wouldn't be much worse than getting caught by one of the undead up close and personal. I wouldn't stagger into battle weilding it by any means. I too would avoid conflict with the infected as much as possible, but just in case.

---

Posted by Jackelope


Perfect, you and cowcatcher can seduce and/or masturbate the zombies while Rush develops a vaccine for the Zombie virus! I guess that kind of makes me useless, but I've seen Zombie porn before and I don't mind sitting on the sidelines watching it again

---

Not at all. You can play a dual role

1) keep zombies from killing me
2) keep me from seeing Fleek masturbate by blocking my line of sight in his direction. When I eat that BBQ, I don't want to know about the special sauce.

I'll need cowcatcher's powers of seduction in order to collect zombie body fluids so I can conduct my studies.

---

Posted by Rush

---

Posted by Jackelope


Perfect, you and cowcatcher can seduce and/or masturbate the zombies while Rush develops a vaccine for the Zombie virus! I guess that kind of makes me useless, but I've seen Zombie porn before and I don't mind sitting on the sidelines watching it again

---

Not at all. You can play a dual role

1) keep zombies from killing me
2) keep me from seeing Fleek masturbate by blocking my line of sight in his direction. When I eat that BBQ, I don't want to know about the special sauce.

I'll need cowcatcher's powers of seduction in order to collect zombie body fluids so I can conduct my studies.

---

LMAO Props if I can give 'em. Great plan.

To jae- I didn't want to turn the AK-47 thing into an argument. Sorry if you were offended. I just figured people could trust words coming from the mouth of someone who has a couple years worth of experience fighting against enemies who wield AK-47's as fact, not opinion.

I have many stories, but one has a very close connection to a terrifying, ironic and very true story that deals specifically with AK-47's reliability. I don't want to tell it over the boards. I would just suggest that no matter what weapon anyone is wielding they ought to trust their own ability to take care of their weapon and their own hard work doing so over "quality manufacturing"

I think another very important thing to consider would be your own fitness. So many situations can be avoided all together if your physically in shape.

Not to rip off zombieland but....

Rule 1: Cardio.

I know I sound negative, but everyone think they've seen the movies, and played the games. They think they'll be okay. But come on...letsbe honest.

My friend has a brand new barn on his property (nicest barn I've ever seen) and it's already been planned that when it comes we're moving in there and gonna have a massive stockpile of weapons and SUV's. Another tool that you will have to sharpen is your mind :O You need to prepare your self for the fact that you will not only have to kill zombies during the invasion, but also people. There are gonna be people just as desperate as you are who will do anything to get into your shelter or steal your weapons or vehicles. A massive SUV is perfect cause you can bring a bunch of people with you and have lots of weapons. Not to mention it's huge and good for running over. I would take

1. A number of different shotguns, and all the ammo I can carry.
2. Definitely a baseball bat for melee, nothing beats that IMO.
3. Scoped rifles for shooting from a window or other vantage point at farther away zombies.
4. Shovels and lumber for building a tunnel underground from the barn to the house.

---

Posted by TimW001

I know I sound negative, but everyone think they've seen the movies, and played the games. They think they'll be okay. But come on...letsbe honest.

---

LOL, no doubt.. more than likely we'd all end up Zombies before we even knew it was going around. We'd wake up in our beds with Zombies eating our toes.

To the cardio point- it is a good one. Discipline is the most important thing overall. To me cardio falls into this category. If you're going to survive you've got to act like a military unit. Kind of like how Will Smith did in "I Am Legend". You've got to maintain your equipment, maintain your body, and set yourself up for success all around.

---

Posted by Boo_Radley21

you will not only have to kill zombies during the invasion, but also people. There are gonna be people just as desperate as you are who will do anything to get into your shelter or steal your weapons or vehicles.

---

A point that is not made often enough in discussions regarding the zombie apocolypse.

---

Posted by Rush

---

Posted by Boo_Radley21

you will not only have to kill zombies during the invasion, but also people. There are gonna be people just as desperate as you are who will do anything to get into your shelter or steal your weapons or vehicles.

---

A point that is not made often enough in discussions regarding the zombie apocolypse.

---

I think I just found myself in relevant-town again

I forgot to mention a magnum revolver or a desert eagle

I'd probably wear a Members Only jacket to protect from splatter. I'd bring a Tickle Me Elmo doll and HMC poster just as my sole sources of entertainment to protect my sanity. And weapon wise I'd probably wear my white belt in jiu jitsu for the intimidation effect and roll with a boom-box loaded with boy band CD's. I imagine even Zombies would try to avoid the sound at all costs.

If one could secure a helicopter propellar and place said item at the end of a narrow corridor, i think that would work wonders.

If not, id go with Tony Jaa

---

Posted by Kpro

I'd probably wear a Members Only jacket to protect from splatter. I'd bring a Tickle Me Elmo doll and HMC poster just as my sole sources of entertainment to protect my sanity. And weapon wise I'd probably wear my white belt in jiu jitsu for the intimidation effect and roll with a boom-box loaded with boy band CD's. I imagine even Zombies would try to avoid the sound at all costs.

---

I thought zombies were attracted to boy-band music?

---

Posted by AchillesHeel


I thought zombies were attracted to boy-band music?

---

They are and sometimes even in the music videos

Link

a gun that shoots chainsaws and a jetpack
thats all i'd need
it's a tall order but these are hardly normal circumstances

I am surpirsed that nobody has asked for anti zombie spray