MMA Doublespeak--When People Say...They Really Mean...

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JunCTion
7/2/07 10:20:56PM
posted this several months ago. thought i'd go again for new members.

Martial Arts Doublespeak
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When people say...
They really mean...

Japanese martial arts are the best.
I practice a Japanese art.

This art is thousands of years old.
This style is decades old.

The martial arts are about building better people.
The martial arts are about sweat, bruises and money.

Chinese martial arts are the best.
I practice a Chinese martial art.

High kicks are stupid.
I can't do high kicks.

Sparring is extremely important.
I'm good at fighting and I like it and I can't do much of anything else.

The martial arts are about building better people.
The martial arts are about beating people up if they lay a finger on you.

Korean martial arts are the best.
I practice a Korean martial art.

Breaking techniques are very important.
We do a lot of breaking techniques.

I don't believe in grades.
Nobody ever gave me a high grade.

The martial arts are about building better evolved characters.
Like me.

Filipino martial arts are the best.
I practice a Filipino martial art.

Sophisticated arts like Tai Chi and Aikido are far superior.
Sparring frightens me.

He's a good martial arts teacher.
He's in my organization.

He's a lousy martial arts teacher.
He used to be in my organization but he broke away and I don't get any money out of him anymore.

My style is the best.
I don't know anything about any other styles.

Grades are not important.
There's a grading coming up and it's important.

Breaking techniques are useless.
I can't do breaking techniques.

I'm an innovative, free-thinking, modern Western martial arts teacher, doing my own non-classical thing.
I'm more interested in teaching than learning; and the Orientals ignore me because they know how ignorant I am.

Martial arts politics are the necessary result of official recognition by respectable associations to protect the public.
I belong to a large, well-established organization.

I hate martial arts politics.
None of the large, well-established organizations recognize me or have the slightest interest in my existence.

In this system, we make the art fit the person.
In this system, we make the person fit the art.

Competitions are a waste of time.
I never won any competitions.

Forms or kata are the highest expression of the inner essence of the martial arts.
I read that somewhere -- and I've had enough of tournaments.

Forms or kata are useless.
Bruce Lee said forms are useless and this relieves me of a lot of effort, so go argue with him.

One style is not better than another -- it's the individual that counts.
Don't go to another school--it's the style we teach here that counts.

The techniques aren't important.
The techniques are important.

The principles are important.
I wouldn't know what else to do with the principles so it's the techniques that are important.

Bruce Lee didn't know what he was talking about.
I don't know what Bruce Lee was talking about.

Size and strength are not important.
Size and strength are important, especially if you're fighting somebody who's bigger and stronger than you are.

Science and leverage will always win out over brute force.
Except when he's bigger and stronger than you are.

The purpose of the martial arts is spiritual development and liberation from the ego.
I'm so humble and wise, it's terrific.
richieb19
7/2/07 10:22:07PM
I saw this on judoforum like a year ago... still funny...
JunCTion
7/2/07 10:23:32PM
yeah, i found it on a website in atlanta.
cincyassasin
7/3/07 1:15:02AM
very funny.
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