You might be a MMA addict if....

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Mchubb316
4/17/08 10:58:56PM
Jeff Foxworthy has his you might be a redneck if....

Lets hear some you might be a MMA addict if...

I'll try one.

You might be a MMA addict if you name your children after your favorite MMA fighters.
jiujitsufreak74
4/17/08 11:05:57PM
i think there was a thread sort of like this a while back...i'll see if i can find what i wrote:

-if you can pronounce Wanderlei correctly
-when you here the name Sapp, you think of mirko instead of football
-when you hear a dog howl and think of Rampage
-if you know of at least 6 Gracie's
-if you pretend to GnP your girlfriend when she is not looking
-when you ask your dad why he can't be like Randy Couture
-when you hear the term mount and don't think of sex
-when the guard position doesn't make you laugh...(my friends are retarded)
-when your idea of a good first date is a UFC event
-if the term guillotine makes no reference to France
-if you know that Travis Fulton is not the best mma fighter
-if you hear the term "Ho Bag" and know who that is
Mchubb316
4/17/08 11:08:25PM
Didnt know this had been done. Hopefully it has been a while and we can get some more good ones.
emfleek
4/17/08 11:18:46PM
If you practice your BJJ on any of the following...

* A pet
* A pillow
* Your significant other
* A teddy bear (don't judge me)
emfleek
4/17/08 11:20:22PM
- If, during boring sex, you warn your girlfriend that the two of you are going to get stood up if you don't try to improve your position.
emfleek
4/17/08 11:22:03PM
- If, after sex, you look at your girlfriend and say, "I was not impressed by your performance!"
emfleek
4/17/08 11:26:01PM
If you're doing your girlfriend from behind and you can't help but think how easy it would be to sink in a rear naked choke.
emfleek
4/17/08 11:27:25PM
Okay, I'm done now.

Goodnight, folks.
jiujitsufreak74
4/17/08 11:39:23PM

Posted by Mchubb316

Didnt know this had been done. Hopefully it has been a while and we can get some more good ones.



don't worry it was like from 4months ago and has been dead...its refreshing to keep the idea alive

here are some more(trying not to steal from three_days_of_gray):

- You use the triangle position as foreplay
- You see a guy with elastic pants and think of a gogoplata
- The term Gogo does not refer to Wham!
- You hear the word belt you don't think of pants
- When you hear Canada and don't think of hockey
- Brazil is your Mecca
bls1919
4/17/08 11:59:02PM
"If you think "Travis Wiuff really is a champ and YAMMA is a legit fighting ORG." Wait maybe then u would be a retard!?!?!?!? I'm not sure
jiujitsufreak74
4/18/08 12:04:34AM

Posted by bls1919

"If you think "Travis Wiuff really is a champ and YAMMA is a legit fighting ORG." Wait maybe then u would be a retard!?!?!?!? I'm not sure



i would go with the retard choice for that one
rabbit915
4/18/08 12:26:29AM

Posted by emfleek

If you're doing your girlfriend from behind and you can't help but think how easy it would be to sink in a rear naked choke.



I took this one step further once and actually went for it but very lightly. It was quite funny. She didnt agree.
three_days_of_grey
4/18/08 1:22:09AM

Posted by jiujitsufreak74


Posted by Mchubb316

Didnt know this had been done. Hopefully it has been a while and we can get some more good ones.



don't worry it was like from 4months ago and has been dead...its refreshing to keep the idea alive

here are some more(trying not to steal from three_days_of_gray):

- You use the triangle position as foreplay
- You see a guy with elastic pants and think of a gogoplata
- The term Gogo does not refer to Wham!
- You hear the world belt you don't think of pants
- When you hear Canada and don't think of hockey
- Brazil is your Mecca



Ah it's all good, bro.
Here are my originals:
- .. you have a rudimentary knowledge of Portugese despite never taking lessons.
- .. you acknowledge Joe Rogan as more than "that guy from Fear Factor".
- .. you can spell Emelianenko correctly.
- .. hearing the term 'rear naked choke' no longer turns you on.. or really turns you on. Either way.
- .. you know Akihiro Gono is not a type of sushi roll.
- .. you recorded Shamrock vs Gracie II over your wedding video.
- .. you have actually seen Jenna Jameson surrounded by men without having a dick in her face.
- .. you understand that a MMA event is the only time it's acceptable to discuss another man's weight.
- .. you have wet dreams of Gina Carano and Carina Damm kicking your ass.
- .. you don't think two men in a 'north-south' position is gay at all.

New Entries:
- Your kids can hit you harder than James Irvin.
- Maura Renallo's voice doesn't make you want to stab screwdrivers into your ears and kick your dog.
- You have eagerly read more Fedor vs Randy threads than most mere mortals would dare attempt.
- You have a wager on when Joe Rogan finally snaps and bitch-slaps Goldie.
- You understand what I meant about the previous comment and wonder where you can get in on the action.
- If you want to seriously discuss Kimbo vs. Lesnar. That's hardcore shit right there.
- You would rather take your chances and eat that tin-foil package of whatever meat that's been tucked way back in the freezer for a couple of years and order a UFC PPV event than go to the store for actual food.

-OUT-


jiujitsufreak74
4/18/08 1:56:31AM
a couple more:

- You hear Couture and it does not imply fashion
- You here BJJ and don't think of filatio
- You die inside when your friends tell you Kimbo Slice is the best fighter on Earth
- You tell kids to pull guard in street fights
- You feel the need to GnP someone every time you see a chain link fence
- You think of fighting when you see a stop sign
- You don't think of Pride as an adjective
- You projectile vomit after watching Never Back Down
- You see bananas and think of Mark Coleman
- You don't think of rap when you hear JZ
- You know rubber guard has nothing to do with condoms
- In biology class, when you see GG/CC in DNA a tear caresses your cheek
roadking95th
4/18/08 1:58:27AM
If you know what "squarely fairly" means

If you wanted to see Wanderlie f#@k Chuck

IriShame
4/18/08 3:34:47AM

Posted by roadking95th

If you know what "squarely fairly" means

If you wanted to see Wanderlie f#@k Chuck




What? Wouldn't that make you gay? Or just curious. Who am I to judge?

Also, You might be an MMA addict if you know Jenna Jameson as that chick Tito is always with.

if you wouldn't mind having a guy fully mounted.

if rear naked choke doesn't sound like an analingous accident.

actually, all those things sound kinda gay.
skatenate
4/18/08 3:47:00AM
-you hate it when your friends think your gay when ur in guard/mount
-your dogs name is randy/chuck,tito etc.
Svartorm
4/18/08 4:32:37AM
You attempt to pass guard in the missionary position.

You pummel for underhooks when giving someone a hug.
loller90278
4/18/08 4:41:12AM
-if you're posting on an MMA forum about which ways you are addicted to mma
emfleek
4/18/08 9:22:07AM

Posted by jiujitsufreak74

- You tell kids to pull guard in street fights



billycarnage
4/18/08 3:12:45PM
This thread rules!!! Now I know why Rednecks think Jeff Foxworthy is so damn funny! It is all relative.

papercut
4/18/08 5:51:42PM

Posted by loller90278

-if you're posting on an MMA forum about which ways you are addicted to mma



yeah this is the ultimate mma addiction I think this deserves props
loller90278
4/18/08 10:38:46PM

Posted by IriShame


Posted by roadking95th

If you know what "squarely fairly" means

If you wanted to see Wanderlie f#@k Chuck




What? Wouldn't that make you gay? Or just curious. Who am I to judge?




i guess you're not an MMA fanatic my friend. Wandy went over to the UFC to challenge chuck and while on the MIC he messed up by saing "i want to F$#$ chuck" instead of saying fight
jgtribbett
4/18/08 11:58:04PM
-if you've told anyone about a "liver kick" while using the apropriate accent.
-if you know that lay and pray isnt in bed.
-if you say goodnight marco ruas.. wherever you are.
-if you know the one fight and the rematch that ended identically with the exact same final photo.
-if you have tried to train your animall to fight back.
-if you have done "joe rogan style comentation while fighting your animal"(i get bored)
-if you've ruined mma for an ex g/f



tdietel01
4/19/08 12:46:13AM
- while watching a fight, your legs and feet move when your fighter is almost in a sub. (cause you can help with involutary leg movement)lol
roadking95th
4/19/08 12:58:55AM

Posted by tdietel01

- while watching a fight, your legs and feet move when your fighter is almost in a sub. (cause you can help with involutary leg movement)lol



Haha, my wife will not sit in front of me anymore at wrestling matches. Apparently I am always reacting to the matches I am watching and trying to throw moves on her!
ButterBalls
4/19/08 2:18:49AM
-You make your girlfriend sign up for MMAPlayground, and she knows more than most of your friends.
-You have Pride DVD's in your desk at work (I do)
-Your DVR has nothing but Pride/UFC/EliteXC events on it
-Your girlfriend didn't mind that you erased Montana Sky from the DVR because you wanted to record Phil Baroni/Frank Shamrock.
-You always stop for gas in Hillsboro, Illinois, hoping to see Matt Hughes or Robbie Lawler at the gas station.
-You watch Man vs. Wild and think that Bear Grylles should fight middleweight in the UFC.
-Your friends know who Crocop is, and love him, but they've never seen a Pride event.
-You forget that Butterbean can box.
Svartorm
4/19/08 4:56:36AM

Posted by roadking95th


Posted by tdietel01

- while watching a fight, your legs and feet move when your fighter is almost in a sub. (cause you can help with involutary leg movement)lol



Haha, my wife will not sit in front of me anymore at wrestling matches. Apparently I am always reacting to the matches I am watching and trying to throw moves on her!



I had to tell my girlfriend that we can't cuddle during fights because I'll more than likely armbar her.

If you watch something intensely like that, its hard not to react, and I've found myself tucking my chin to avoid chokes, locking on imaginary armbars, crossing my ankles to fend off heelhooks, etc.
Aaronno9
4/19/08 6:24:15AM

Posted by emfleek

- If, after sex, you look at your girlfriend and say, "I was not impressed by your performance!"






Tried to give you props for that but ive got to spead the love. Cracked me up.
Tein_Lung
4/19/08 6:59:18AM
you see a football game and thing the offence should just guillotine the defensive line
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