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10/30/11 1:21:20AM
(2) Which Teams would WIN in this 5 on 5 matchup



Brian Bowles
Jose Aldo
Lyoto Machida
Anthony Pettis
Chael Sonnen


Dominic Cruz
Junior Dos Santos
Eddie Alvarez
Rashad Evans
Nick DIaz

(PART 2)


Melvin Guillard
Cain Valasquez
Chad Mendes
Jon Jones
Alistar Overeem


Gilbert Melendez
Anderson Silva
Frank Mir
Dan Henderson
Urijah Faber

GO INTO DETAILS... IF YOU PICK A winning team, tell me who on that team can take out a person on the opposing team..
10/30/11 7:51:51AM
Part 1

The overall weight of the team 1 is 825 pound, without weight cuts etc. Team 2 is 900 pound, JDS really does pack that team. Nick Diaz would probably walk forward first and Chael would on team 1. Cruz and Alvarez would probably team up and start on Pettis, as JDS would hunt Bowles, Rashad would probably keep Machida and Aldo at bay, mainly because Machida wouldn't really be very aggressive, I reckon Diaz would choke out Sonnen pretty quickly, and put him to sleep, meaning Diaz is straight up to go take out Aldo, Cruz and Alvarez are probably stomping a hole through Alvarez and JDS has already KO'd Bowles. Machida KO's Evans as Evans gets to close, JDS then puts his blackhouse herritage aside and teams up with Bowles and Alvarez to corner and finish Machida, and Aldo eventually quits after seeing he's 4-1.

Team 2 win.

Part 2

Team 2 is 931 pound, Team 1 is 1000 pound, teams probably begin a bit more fairly as all fighters are aggresive Jones has picked to take on Silva, Mendes v Faber, Guillard v Melendez, Henderson v Overeem, Mir v Velasquez
And to begin with its pretty even, Silva's finding his range, all fighters are tentative, Velasquez lands first and instantly destroys the heart of Mir, Velasquez swarms on him and this causes a dog fight, Henderson runs into try and stop the onslaught, Velasquez by this point has finished Mir, and Overeem grabs a hold of Melendez and Guillard and Overeem take him out, Silva however turns his back and high kicks Mendes allowing Faber to swarm on him.
So were down to Silva, Faber, Henderson vs Jones Velasquez Guillard and Overeem, Jones and Guillard team up and hunt down Faber, Jones grabs a hold of him and Guillard gives him a good old fashion bully beat down, Overeem however picks anderson silva and gets KO'd on the way in during a combo, Velasquez just keeps Hendo at bay at misses the fact his team mates been finished, the team of Guillard and Jones now grab a hold of silva take him down stomp him, elbow him, and finish him off, yeah he hasn't been KO'd before but he's never been repeatedly foot stomped in the face.
Finally realising Hendos' the only one left he swings for the fences, rocking Velasquez, tagging and KOing Guillard, but Jones gets a hold of him Velasquez recovers, Jones drags Hendo to the ground and all Hendo tries to do is groin strikes off his back and eventually Velasquez and Jones get the better of him

Give Props button on the right, click it!
10/30/11 8:50:14AM

Brian Bowles and Dominick Cruz take the center of the Octagon and both land combos at the same time, each breaking both hands. The difference being Cruz continues to fight and Bowles gets frustrated and the ref calls for a TKO (injury) and Bowles is eliminated. Eddie Alvarez and Rashad Evans are hanging out in the corner comparing waxed eyebrows and what salon they use while Machida flying crane kicks Rashad and Pettis Showtime walldances his foot right across Alvarez's face knocking them both down eyebrows first. Junior Dos Santos doesn't like seeing 2 of his teammates go down even though he doesn't understand their metrosexual tendencies so he knocks Pettis out with one punch and starts stalking Machida. Chael Sonnen has been calling for a mic this whole time and he finally gets it and he's asking why Anderson Silva is in the other matchup and not this one. He calls him a no good pansy and makes derogatory comments about his country and family. Jose Aldo see's that Cruz is shaking out two broken hands so he takes the opportunity to go in for the kill and starts landing leg kicks and gets a finish with a flying knee. Nick Diaz is talking smack to Chael but I don't think Chael can hear him as he's still on the mic. Machida has evaded Dos Santos decently so far so Junior takes the opportunity to knock out Aldo with a light jab. It's now Dos Santos and Diaz versus Machida and Sonnen. Dos Santos gets Machida to the mat and is warned by Kim Winslow for hitting the back of the head. He does it again and Herb Dean takes a point and says he's DQ'd if he does it again. Dos Santos finally finishes Machida wish some ground and pound and heads over to Sonnen who has his back turned and is still on the mic. He clubs him in the back of the head and gets DQ'd by Steve Mazagatti! It's down to Sonnen vs. Diaz and Sonnen is groggy from the shot to the back of the head. They exchange some punches but after getting the worst on the feet Sonnen decides he wants none of it so he takes Diaz down. He proceeds to stay in Diaz's guard for 23 1/2 minutes until Diaz locks in a triangle choke and tells him "don't be scared to tap homey". Sonnen taps. Diaz flips off the crowd as his team is victorious. They announce a press conference will follow and Nick can be seen bolting from the arena.


Melvin Guillard failed the pre-fight drug test due to cocaine usage so team 1 is one man down. Chad Mendes and Urijah Faber start talking about chicks and cars not realizing they're opponents in this matchup but no one can see them because of how short they are except for Gilbert and he decides to just listen to their conversation since everyone else on the other side is way too big to take on. Frank Mir can be heard saying "where's Miguel Torres? Has anyone seen his transitions? His striking is great and his jiu-jitsu is world class". Overeem puts his BBQ horse ribs down and punches Mir back against the cage and drops him before submitting him somehow in a guillotine using only his pecs. Don't ask, hard to describe even having watched it. Hendo and Cain are extremely confused by Mendes and Faber's misunderstanding of what team they're on so they grab them by the back of the head and slam them face first into each other. They're both pouring blood like a faucet. Miragliotta, always on top of things, rules it was an incidental headbutt and they're both out, ruled as a No Contest for each. Faber and Mendes don't realize they're pouring blood like a tapped keg and continue to talk about chicks and cars as they leave the Octagon. Cain looks over at Gilbert Melendez and Gilbert taps out. That is one damn smart fighter! We're down to Cain, Bones, and The Reem versus Anderson and Hendo. This isn't looking good for team two. Bones starts heading towards Anderson and the FANS ARE GOING CRAZY! A wildly anticipated matchup may happen in a 5 on 5 bout. Bones vs. Anderson! Ohhhh, but Ed Soares gets on the mic and says his client won't fight Bones in this matchup and he'll decide who Anderson fights and it won't be anyone in this fight. Not a good strategy if Anderson listens to Soares. Hendo runs in and attacks Bones and manages to get a trip takedown! Ouch, Bones leg broke as he fell. Very unfortunate mishap for Captain chicken legs. Cain swings and knocks out Hendos front teeth! No! They were already out, but the punch did damage as Hendo is wobbly and The Reem grabs him in a guillotine and Hendo goes to sleep instead of tapping. It's down to Cain and Overeem versus Anderson but it appears Cain isn't happy that he pummeled Hendo and The Reem got credit for the finish by jumping in with the guillotine. Cain attacks The Reem! They fight back and forth for 10 minutes exchanging blow after blow as Anderson looks disinterested in everything. After all the brutal punishment Cain finally takes Overeem out with a left hook, right uppercut combo and then falls to his knees exhausted from his battle with his teammate Overeem. The exhausted Cain is left one on one against Anderson. It wasn't a good idea for the two heavyweight teammates to fight each other! Anderson has him right where he wants him. Anderson loads up to finish Cain as he tries to stand up but Ed Soares gets back on the microphone and tells Anderson he's not allowed to fight Cain. Anderson goes back to looking disinterested. Cain takes 5 minutes to recover then spears Anderson and full mounts him and starts dropping bombs! Anderson looks over to Soares but Ed just shakes his head no. Anderson is still not allowed to fight Cain. So Cain pummels him unconscious for the victory. Ed Soares threatens legal action as the Just Bleed guy kicks him in the balls.
10/30/11 2:01:17PM
TEAM 1 for both
10/30/11 4:53:47PM
(Part One)

Nick Diaz starts things off by bitch slapping Chael Sonnen. Sonnen takes him down while Bowles and Pettis rush Dos Santos. Santos unleashes a massive uppercut on a charging Bowles that sends him flying several feet into a charging Pettis. Both men tangle up and crash to the ground. While this is happening Evans and Machida lock eyes and instantly start battling against the side of a fence (We're fighting in an abandoned lot to the death btw). Cruz and Alvarez notice Aldo shadowboxing while this is all going on and decided to sneak up behind him. Alvarez jumps on his back and locks in a standing RNC while Cruz goes to town with body shots. Aldo falls on top of Alvarez and takes several seconds longer before passing out.

Aldo eliminated

Moments later we look to see Diaz locking in a, You guessed it! Triangle choke. Sonnen begins tapping frantically but Diaz doesn't give a shit. He's 209 son! Sonnen passes out.

Sonnen eliminated

Meanwhile Machida is utilizing the no rules thing and battering Rashad's face repeatedly with knees against the fence. Evans collapses to the floor in a bloody mess.

Evans is eliminated

Machida runs to help out Pettis and Bowles only to trip over Sonnen's limp body. JDS grabs Bowles by the throat and begins to unleash a fury of gnp. Needless to say:

Bowles is eliminated.

Out of no where Pettis runs towards the fence and showtime kicks Alvarez in the face. He's out cold.

Alvarez is eliminated.

Pettis tries to do the same thing to JDS but is caught in mid air and slammed directly onto Machida. The force of the impact knocks Pettis out and breaks Machida's back.

Pettis and Machida are eliminated.

Winners: JDS, Nick Diaz and Dominic Cruz
10/30/11 4:56:40PM
That took a while so I'll go over the second match up quickly.

Team 1 wins because Velasquez, Overeem and Jones would run wild on the other team.
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