You Might Be a Martial Artist If...
You find yourself casually standing in a half cat stance.
You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance. In church.
You answer your boss "Ussss."
You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table.
You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure the ends are exactly even.
You accept change from the cashier using a perfect knife hand with the thumb carefully tucked in.
Every time you handle a screwdriver or razor knife, etc. You just can't help changing grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip etc. And your shop help is standing cautiously far, far away from you.
When you're outside doing landscaping/gardening you "practice" with all the neat weapons.
you might be a mixed martial artist if....
everytime someone goes to give you a hug you judo throw them.
speaking of judo,
On the mat,
Smooth and flat,
There I sat,
Thoughts of hips,
Tricks and trips,
Thoughts of then,
Why and when,
Just like Zen!
Tried a throw,
Thought he'd go,
Oh dear no!