One Liners

MMAPlayground.com » Off Topic » Off Topic » One Liners
« Previous Page | Next Page »
Manfred
2/15/07 11:28:22AM
"I'll dig the hole, what'da I give a F#ck? What is it, the first hole dug?"

Pesci in Goodfellas

Edit: Had to add one more from him:

"F#ck him, f#ck him in the ear, whad'ya talkin about, f#ck him in the other ear"
pv3Hpv3p
2/15/07 11:29:02AM
"You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize..."Resevoir Dogs
Rampage_Soldier
2/16/07 4:09:15AM
These are all from the same movie..... * f * * c e S * * c *

"Did you get the memo about the covers were now using on the T.P.S. Reports?"

"What am I going to do with 50 Subscriptions to VIBE ?"

"What the hell is the matter with you people?!? Can't you see I have people skills?!?"

"Mmmm...Yeahhhh.....I'm just not sure about that right now..."

"OK, but that's the last straw...
hippysmacker
2/16/07 4:24:45AM

Posted by Rampage_Soldier

These are all from the same movie..... * f * * c e S * * c *

"Did you get the memo about the covers were now using on the T.P.S. Reports?"

"What am I going to do with 50 Subscriptions to VIBE ?"

"What the hell is the matter with you people?!? Can't you see I have people skills?!?"

"Mmmm...Yeahhhh.....I'm just not sure about that right now..."

"OK, but that's the last straw...



Office space. Definate cult classic. Her's my favorite one

" Peter: He's going to ask me to work on Sunday and I'm going to do it, because I'm a pu*sy, which is why I work at Initech in the first place.
Michael Bolton: Hey, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a pu*sy.
Samir: Yes, I am also not a pu*sy"
crimethinc
2/16/07 7:20:08AM

Posted by pv3Hpv3p

"You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize..."Resevoir Dogs



Not all One-Liners but brilliant all the same.

"If they hadn't done, what I told 'em not to do, they'd still be alive right now"---Mr. Blonde

"You're acting like a first year f***ing thief. I'm acting like a professional."---Mr. Pink

"So, you guys like to tell jokes, huh? Gigglin' and laughin' like a bunch of young broads sittin' in a schoolyard. Well, let me tell a joke. Five guys, sittin' in a bullpen, in San Quentin. All wondering how the f*** they got there. What should we have done, what didn't we do, who's fault is it, is it my fault, your fault, his fault, all that bulls***. Then one of them says, hey. Wait a minute. When we were planning this caper, all we did was sit around tellin' f***in' jokes! Get the message? Boys, I don't mean to holler at ya. When this caper's over - and I'm sure it'll be a successful one - we'll get down to the Hawaiian Islands, hell, I'll roll and laugh with all of ya. You'll find me a different character down there. Right now, it's a matter of business."---Joe

"When you're dealing with a store like this, they're insured up the ass. They're not supposed to give you any resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in. Everybody jumps. He falls down screaming, blood squirts out of his nose, nobody says f***ing s*** after that. You might get some bi*** talk s*** to you, but give her a look like you're gonna smash her in the face next, watch her shut the f*** up. Now if it's a manager, that's a different story. Managers know better than to f*** around, so if you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a bi*** in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next. After that he'll tell you if he wears ladies underwear. I'm hungry. Let's get a taco."---Mr. White

"Listen kid, I'm not gonna bulls*** you, all right? I don't give a good f*** what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get."---Mr. Blonde

"I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's f***ed up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government f***s in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bulls*** I got two words for that: learn to f***in' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big f***in' surprise."---Mr. Pink

"Somebody's shoved a red-hot poker up our ass, and I want to know whose name is on the handle!"---Mr. Pink

"The choice between doing ten years and taking out some stupid motherf***er, ain't no choice at all. But I ain't no madman."---Mr. White

My favorite Tarantino. Better then Pulp Fiction IMO.
I just realized how long this was getting so I will stop now.
aceprone
2/16/07 12:49:12PM
"My hands are freezing"

"Here, use a pair of my gloves"

"You've had two pairs of gloves this whole time"

"Uh, yeah, we're in the Rockies"

Love that scene.....

"Harry, your hands are freezing!"

Dumb and Dumber, an American Classic
aceprone
2/16/07 12:52:58PM

Posted by hippysmacker


Posted by pv3Hpv3p

"Phone's ringing, dude..."



Dude it's driving me crazy that I can't remeber what movie this is from. Post it or I will send F. Shamrock to your house to knee you in the noggin-JK
Also from Boondock saints " Rayvie shut up! I can't go out to buy a pack of smokes without running into 10 guys you f***ed"



"We're like 7 eleven, we're not always doing bussiness, but we're always open."

"Maybe a rule of wrist would of been better."

Boondock Saints
pv3Hpv3p
2/16/07 4:06:34PM

Posted by aceprone

"My hands are freezing"

"Here, use a pair of my gloves"

"You've had two pairs of gloves this whole time"

"Uh, yeah, we're in the Rockies"

Love that scene.....

"Harry, your hands are freezing!"

Dumb and Dumber, an American Classic



"...I desperately want to make love to a school boy..."

"Pull over!!!"... "No it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing..."

"Now listen here, you pumpkin-pie hair cutted freak..."

"Awww, little Philly break your heart???" "no it was a girl, but thanks for asking."

I'm sure we could go on forever... That movie is f'n hilarious...
pv3Hpv3p
2/16/07 4:08:43PM

Posted by Manfred

"I'll dig the hole, what'da I give a F#ck? What is it, the first hole dug?"

Pesci in Goodfellas

Edit: Had to add one more from him:

"F#ck him, f#ck him in the ear, whad'ya talkin about, f#ck him in the other ear"



Another great one from goodfellas...

When Joe Pesci's mom is showing them all a picture that she painted...

Pesci: "Oh, now this here is one of my favorites... You got one dog going this way and dog going that and this guys like what do you want form me?"
Rampage_Soldier
2/16/07 4:23:00PM
"Kick his ass, Seabass!"
loller90278
2/16/07 5:12:39PM
SPARTANS!! TONIGHT -- WE DINE, AT MCDONALDS!
Trapt1nw0nder
2/16/07 5:40:22PM
'to protect the sheep you must catch the wolf"!

&

"King Kong dont got shit on me"


~Training Day.....
Billy_Soup
2/16/07 8:52:39PM

Posted by pv3Hpv3p


Posted by aceprone

"My hands are freezing"

"Here, use a pair of my gloves"

"You've had two pairs of gloves this whole time"

"Uh, yeah, we're in the Rockies"

Love that scene.....

"Harry, your hands are freezing!"

Dumb and Dumber, an American Classic



"...I desperately want to make love to a school boy..."

"Pull over!!!"... "No it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing..."

"Now listen here, you pumpkin-pie hair cutted freak..."

"Awww, little Philly break your heart???" "no it was a girl, but thanks for asking."

I'm sure we could go on forever... That movie is f'n hilarious...



Big Gulps hey....well see ya later
mrsumo
2/16/07 10:21:40PM
"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women". Conan, the Barbarian

"Who wants to drink from the firehose"? Said to a group of kids on a tv show. Can anyone guess this classic movie?
loller90278
2/17/07 12:03:48AM
mostly everything from AIRPLANE
second best comedy ever.


"the sun?! what is it?"
Rampage_Soldier
2/17/07 1:41:13AM
UHF? Mr. "Race-Card" himself?


Posted by mrsumo

"Who wants to drink from the firehose"? Said to a group of kids on a tv show. Can anyone guess this classic movie?

mrsumo
2/17/07 5:07:40AM
UHF is correct!
FLAMarlins35
2/17/07 6:36:03PM
ANYTHING WITH A JOHN MADDEN IMPERSONATOR MAKES ME LAUGH!!!
aceprone
2/20/07 2:16:53AM
"What ya drinking?"

"Cranberry Juice..."

"What? Are you on your period?"

The Departed
DirtySouthBoss
2/21/07 8:26:24PM
Who you gonna call?????

Ghost Busters
Cary_Stayner
2/22/07 12:21:50AM
Shake and Bake

Ricky Bobby
hippysmacker
2/22/07 12:30:21AM

Posted by DirtySouthBoss

Who you gonna call?????

Ghost Busters



Favorite ghost busters line
Sigourney Weave" that's the bedroom , but nothing ever happened in there"
Bill Murray" what a crime"
Unkoman
2/25/07 5:08:20PM
"Good..Bad.. I'm the guy with the gun"
" Shop smart shop S Mart YOU GOT THAT!!"

If i have to name the movie you are a waste of space.
hippysmacker
2/27/07 6:49:43PM
Since this is an MMa board I was surprised this never got posted. Fromt he movie Firday by Chris Tucker " You got knocked the F**K OUT! "
Trapt1nw0nder
2/27/07 7:01:13PM

Posted by hippysmacker

Since this is an MMa board I was surprised this never got posted. Fromt he movie Firday by Chris Tucker " You got kocked the F**K OUT! "



you said kocked
hippysmacker
2/27/07 11:38:19PM

Posted by Trapt1nw0nder


Posted by hippysmacker

Since this is an MMa board I was surprised this never got posted. Fromt he movie Firday by Chris Tucker " You got kocked the F**K OUT! "



you said kocked



I edited it thanks. You know your comment on my comment could be a beavis and butthead comment as in " You said kocked, HuhHuhHehHeHuh" which is actually ironic, but still pretty pro
rearnakedchoke
2/27/07 11:48:20PM
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Playground_Samurai
2/28/07 2:31:06AM

Posted by Ydoc

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum. - Nada (Piper) - They Live



I only came here to do two things.....Drink beer and kick ass, and we're almost outta beer. -Nicky Katt -Dazed and Confused

Oh, an observation, huh? Well who the **** are you, man? Isaac ******* Newton? -Nicky Katt - Dazed and Confused

Thats what i love about these high school girls....I get older and they stay the same age. -Mathew McConaughey - Dazed and Confused

I wanna dance! - Adam Goldberg - Dazed and Confused

Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time. -- Will Ferrell - Old School

You're my boy Blue - Will Ferrell - Old School

I'm here for the gangbang - Old School

Def Leppard Sucks! -Kid Rock - Joe Dirt

Do it for Johnny. - Matt Dillon - The Outsiders

Jules, if you give that ******' nimrod fifteen hundred dollars, I'm gonna shoot him on general principles - John Travolta - Pulp Fiction

What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' ni**ers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. -Ving Rhames -Pulp Fiction

I take away his weapon. (shoots juniors hand).........Both of them (shoots juniors groin) -Bruce Willis - Sin City

My all time favorite is////// The hell I send him to will seem like heaven after what i've done to him - Mickey Rourke - Sin City

And of course damn near every single line from Anchorman.
jdubs
3/1/07 10:35:57PM
dumb and dumber... the whole movie
Cobbs666
3/3/07 12:40:51PM
talking about girls on periods " i dont trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesnt die" - mr(s). Garrison - South Park
Pages: 1 [2] 3