Posted by pv3Hpv3p
"You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize..."Resevoir Dogs
Not all One-Liners but brilliant all the same.
"If they hadn't done, what I told 'em not to do, they'd still be alive right now"---Mr. Blonde
"You're acting like a first year f***ing thief. I'm acting like a professional."---Mr. Pink
"So, you guys like to tell jokes, huh? Gigglin' and laughin' like a bunch of young broads sittin' in a schoolyard. Well, let me tell a joke. Five guys, sittin' in a bullpen, in San Quentin. All wondering how the f*** they got there. What should we have done, what didn't we do, who's fault is it, is it my fault, your fault, his fault, all that bulls***. Then one of them says, hey. Wait a minute. When we were planning this caper, all we did was sit around tellin' f***in' jokes! Get the message? Boys, I don't mean to holler at ya. When this caper's over - and I'm sure it'll be a successful one - we'll get down to the Hawaiian Islands, hell, I'll roll and laugh with all of ya. You'll find me a different character down there. Right now, it's a matter of business."---Joe
"When you're dealing with a store like this, they're insured up the ass. They're not supposed to give you any resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in. Everybody jumps. He falls down screaming, blood squirts out of his nose, nobody says f***ing s*** after that. You might get some bi*** talk s*** to you, but give her a look like you're gonna smash her in the face next, watch her shut the f*** up. Now if it's a manager, that's a different story. Managers know better than to f*** around, so if you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a bi*** in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next. After that he'll tell you if he wears ladies underwear. I'm hungry. Let's get a taco."---Mr. White
"Listen kid, I'm not gonna bulls*** you, all right? I don't give a good f*** what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get."---Mr. Blonde
"I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's f***ed up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government f***s in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bulls*** I got two words for that: learn to f***in' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big f***in' surprise."---Mr. Pink
"Somebody's shoved a red-hot poker up our ass, and I want to know whose name is on the handle!"---Mr. Pink
"The choice between doing ten years and taking out some stupid motherf***er, ain't no choice at all. But I ain't no madman."---Mr. White
My favorite Tarantino. Better then Pulp Fiction IMO.
I just realized how long this was getting so I will stop now.