I took my little sisters(10 & 7) to the "Harvest Festival" today. Which is really just a school event to raise money. The sneaky bastards.
Once there, you had to exchange money for tickets. The tickets were used for everything remotely fun. The little one, Cheyenne, ran around giggling, calling the ghost people stupid before fleeing at the slightest spook. Rina, the mighty 10 year old, made it her business to collect as many tokens as she could with the tickets she had. Tokens were given for excellence in ticket games like "throw the ball in the hole" and a personal favorite of mine, "Hold your breath longer than everyone". Needless to say, with my grown man lung capacity; i dominated the field. Also, these "tokens" were really just pen slashes on a cut-out. Tokens, pffft.
By the time we were out of money Rina had managed to get 54 tokens, 21 short of the multi-directional chinese finger trap she had set her eyes on earlier. Cheyenne had acquired around 25. The perfect amount for the whoopie cushion she had fallen in love with at first sight.
And so, i went to work. Big Brother
time. I waited for the lady at the front desk to get bored enough where doing her job well wasnt a priority anymore, and i slipped my hand in her bucket and pulled out around 80 tickets. I spread them to the children, gave 10 to myself and gave them a hushed wink. RIna understood and smiled. Cheyenne gave a look of awe which slowly subsided and transmuted into a look of mischief.
Next i took one of the teachers pen's, and slashed rina and cheyenne's cut out to 200 tokens each. Ballin'
. And preceeded to the cake-raffle with my 10 tickets. 10 times i entered, and to no avail. Each time my plans of bringing home a cake was foiled. Once by a kid who mistook a 9 for a 6, another by adult imcompetence. But most of the time by my sheer magnitude of bad Karma. So i decided to say fuck it. I grabbed a cake and left. I knew that number was a 9, i don't need someone else to give me the go ahead.
And so we made it to the token return at the end, with a fresh oreo cake in hand. Rina got her finger trap, some jewerly and a Tom Selleck mustache. Cheyene got 7 whoopie cushions and a Tom Selleck mustache. And i got a some fake tattoo's and a Supremely thick, Burt Reynolds mustache. We walked around town looking like mexican gangsters with our mustaches, beanies, and temporary tattoes across our necks.
Then lastly, we went and snuck some soda from Mcdonalds, all the while looking ridiculous. But the workers laughed, didn't notice the sneak, and before i left i got a cute mexican girls number. She was digging our mustached mexican swag.
And so that was my day, that and playing Yu-gi-oh on my computer when i got home. Great day.
Prologue: I never really stole anything as a minor, at anytime whatsoever. Not that i didn't want to, i just was too wary. Cautious. Trepidatious, even. But, now as an adult it feels good to get away with the sneakiness. Not because i never experienced it as a child, well maybe that too, but because it's the kids that end up getting the shit. and that just feels right. Plus, it freaks them out when i'm in action, because they're nervous of me getting caught. And that makes them not want to steal. Somehow. Woo-hoo!
Moral - Doing things for others will make you feel better about yourself. Put others first and you get more out of life.
, even if it means risking your own ass just to make the one's closest to you smile.