Props to Milano for putting it together!
Bas Rutten: Why doesn't he punch him?
Stephen Quadros: Because he doesn't train in stand up.
Bas Rutten: Hasn't he ever seen anyone throw a punch?
Stephen Quadros: What position is that Bas
Bas Rutten: Yay, the head-between the-thighs-position, usually used for another act. The black-widow technique!
Stephen Quadros: I must say I have had it done to me a few times..
Bas Rutten: hehehe!
Stephen Quadros: I am sure he has a few tricks up his sleeve.
Bas Rutten: He's not wearing any sleeves.
Stephen Quadros: Don't even start, Bas.
Frank Shamrock: Ohhhh huge knee!
Mike Goldberg: Big knee!
Frank Shamrock: That was a huge knee!
Mike Goldberg: That knee was big!
Eddie Bravo: Boy was I wrong about that move.
Stephen Quadros: Well, yea you were.
Stephen Quadros: They tell me getting kicked by Mo Smith is like getting hit by a baseball bat at 85 mph.
Bas Rutten: No. I don't think so.
Bas Rutten: He has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
Stephen Quadros: Yes, well many of the fighters have a black belt.
Bas Rutten: Yes, but in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu you cant buy your belt like in say, Tae Kwon Do.
Stephen Quadros: Do you have any belts?
Bas Rutten: I have a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do.
Stephen Quadros: Hmmm, I wonder what happened?
Bas Rutten: I think he must have hit him with the Dim Mak. He shoved his nose into his brain I think.
Bas Rutten: He keeps on making those weird sounds.
Stephen Quadros: Yeah I think he's trying to impersonate Flipper the seal.
Stephen Quadros: Frye's getting the standing 8-Count here, Bas
Bas Rutten: Why's he getting the standing 8-Count?
Stephen Quadros: Well, he's getting his ass kicked.
Stephan Quadros: It looks like a few of Silva's knees got through there to Matsui's nose.
Bas Rutten: Either that or he has really high blood pressure.
Tank: Roy Jones Jr. ain´t gonna knock out Mike Tyson.
*during the fight, the victor demolishes his hundred pound heavier opposition within minutes*
Jeff Blatnick: Well, seems like Roy Jones Jr knocked out Tyson after all.
Tank: You can´t really compare this to boxing.
Aleks has scary tatoos, Moraies has a scary face, Aleks should get a tatoo of Moriaes's face on him, Bas Rutten commentating on Aleksander Emelienenko vs Ricado Moriaes
Interviewer: Do you have any particular things that you don’t like?
Fedor: Nothing. Well if I say the only thing I don’t like is someone who talks with loud voice or scalds others. I feel in a gloomy mood if I am in the situation like that. I hate seeing people yelling at each other and starting arguments. I’m a pacifist so I always bring to an amiable settlement.
Interviewer: What's something that you would like to apologize for?
Alexander Otsuka: I crapped my pants when I was 26 years old.
Commentator: Have you ever had an ankle problem?
Jim Brown: *watches replay of Ken Shamrocks anklelock on another fighter* Ugh! Not like that!
Interviewer: What's new in your life?
Kazushi Sakuraba: I gained some weight and it affects my car's fuel consumption.
Stephen Quadros: Have there been any fighters jealous of your good looks?
Guy Mezger: Aren't they all. Or their girlfriends anyways
Interviewer: What makes you laugh?
Semmy Schilt: Jokes.
Interviewer: What does your father do?
Kazushi Sakuraba: My dad, well he's probably drinking right about now *laughing* because today's his day off.
Interviewer: Have you thought of any new techniques lately?
Kazushi Sakuraba: Yes, I had some but since I've been hit too much in my recent fights, I forgot them!
Stephen Quadros: How long have you had that mustache?
Don Frye: Since I was 5. I got it from my mom's side of the family. She's not a pretty woman.
Stephen Quadros: You should come and visit us in the US.
Mirko Filipovic: Only if Cameron Diaz will be there. I decided that I'm going to marry her.
Stephen Quadros: Will you have to win in a strategic way or in a violent way?
Mirko Filopovic: I'm afraid I will have to do it in a violent way
Stephen Quadros: Are you a god boy now that you are married?
Vanderlei Silva: I have always been a good boy. I'm a bad boy only in the ring.
Interviewer: What do you think of gangster rap?
Murilo Rua: I don't know much about it. I like Elton John and Phil Collins
Interviewer: How many minutes do you think it will take to take Satake down?
Mark Coleman: *giggling* How many minutes? [correcting the questions wording] How many seconds?
Mirko Filipovic: The guys that are always trying to impress girls by saying 'Hey, I bought a new Ferrari or I bought a new ship.' I will take her to my room and she'll see 10 guns. 15 revolvers.
Filipovic's Manager: And a small dick!
Interviewer: Do you own any guns?
Ryan Gracie: No. I have my hands. I don't need them. If someone pulls a gun on me, I would get put in jail. One time in a night club in Brazil, another guy was drinking a lot and he knew I'm a Gracie. He pulled his gun out and pointed at me. I knocked him down and took his gun away. He said "Hey, I'm a cop!" and I said I don't care.
-Side note Ryan Gracie hasn't fought since a self inflicted gunshot wound nearly killed him. According to his father, Robson, "Ryan accidently shot himself when handling a firearm. The bullet went into his femur and caused a lot of bleeding. In another 10 minutes he would have died if he hadn't gotten to the hospital. The worse is over and he should recover."
Sherwood: How about Bobby Hoffman? I heard that at the Superbrawl 13 heavyweight tournament that you had a few words. Rumor or true?
Tank Abbott: I don't know who that is.
Sherwood: He is a bald guy who supposedly came up to you and said something about you going to wrestling.
Tank Abbot: I don't know who he is. I don't even think I was at Superbrawl.
Sherwood: Yeah you were there. I saw you on tape. It was in Hawaii.
Tank Abbott: Oh I was drunk.
Sherwood: You jumped in the ring!
Tank Abbott: Yeah, you gotta have fun. It was probably the most non-boring part of the show
Interviewer: Do you think long hair is coming back in style?
Dan Henderson: Are you making fun of me?
Interviewer: *scared* No…
Interviewer: What do you think of fighters that aren't humble?
Carlos Newton: I believe they lack self-confidence. Also, it's covering up. Fighters should be themselves. They should have respect for their opponent and know that there is strength in weakness and weakness in strength.
Bas Rutten: I do not know what you mean, "Something blue?"
Maurice Smith: It must be an American thing then, I won't even try to explain it.
Announcer: Igor. You just won the IFC championship and 25,000
dollars. How do you feel?
Igor Vovchanchyn: Okay. *gives thumbs up*
QUESTION: Tank, you fought twice in 2007, once in 2006 and twice in 2005: When you're not fighting, what do you do?
TANK: My hobby is drinking.
QUESTION: Tank, was your era on the streets so much tougher than Kimbo’s?
TANK: Because there was no referee and there were no people walking around watching it. When you entered into a fight you assumed the risk to die. You didn't have to worry about somebody as a referee stepping in and saving it. Like I said, I've got well over 200 street fights under my belt.
QUESTION: Your response to that, Kimbo?
KIMBO: I was smelling chicken and looking at the food. I wasn't paying Tank any attention.
-Tank and Kimbo commentating on their upcoming fight.
"After a match, my opponent goes to the hospital and gets an IV and I have a martini." -Tank Abbott
"Okay. Right here I'm tickling his brain." -Tank Abbott commenting on a replay showing him pressing his opponents head against the cage.
"You know I just went from the barstool to the octagon." -Tank Abbott.
"Here's where I hit him with the light switch." -Tank Abbott commentating on his knockout of Steve Nelmark
“It was like getting raped by Freddy Mercury”
-Tank Abbott on losing to Dan Severn
"I'm starting to get sexually aroused right now you better get that off." -Tank Abbott after watching a replay of his brutal knockout of John Matua.
"Absolutely some good cocktail fun. I'm sipping a few cocktails, watching the show. There's nothing here that tickles me." -Tank Abbott.
"You get on queer street. You make a right turn. You're back to Main." -Tank Abbott.
"Isn't that the guy on the coffee can?" -Tank Abbott commenting on his Brazilian opponent Hugo Duarte.
"He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day and looks like a pussy today." -Tank Abbott.
"I think knees and elbows are over rated unless you down over at queer street."- Tank Abbott.
"****!" -Tank Abbott after losing to Don Frye in the UFC.
"I''ll bet he wishes he had that other pectoral muscle right about now." -Tank Abbott's comment on Tra Telligman's TKO loss. Tra lost a pectoral muscle during a childhood accident.
"I dreamed that I was being raped by Freddy Mercury." -Tank Abbott after being defeated by Dan Severn.
"I thought it was an inside thing only, and I wouldn't make it. At that point in time, it was. The Gracies owned the show and they wouldn't let anyone fight. They told me I could fight, but not until UFC 6. They were going to make an example of me, showing what martial a artist could do to a street fighter. That's why they call me Tank. Their grand plan was to go to 20/20 and say, "Look at what our martial arts can do to your street fighter." But it blew up in their faces." -Tank Abbott.
"What? Did he just win the Olympics?" -Tank Abbott commenting on the crowd going wild after a match.
"When I go in there, I'm not going in there to win. I'm going in there to fight!" -Tank Abbott
"The first thing that makes you a tough fighter is in your head and in your heart, then your tools. It has nothing to do with someone teaching you how to be tough." -Tank Abbott.
"I don't think much of Tito Ortiz. He needs to grow balls and sign to fight Chuck Liddell." -Tank Abbott
"In a real fight in a bar, you wouldn't be able to lay on your back like a bitch. You might catch a pool cue to the back of the head." -Tank Abbott.
"I'm gonna win this tournament because I am the most athletic fighter in it." -Tank Abbott, a noticeably potbellied fighter who had considerable success in the UFC.
"I was at a nightclub and the Polar Bear was dancing. Dancing like a Polar Bear." -Tank Abbott commenting on Paul "The Polar Bear" Varelans. Tank also beat down Varelans quite brutally in the UFC.
"Beating people up is a positive thing." -Tank Abbott
"Let me tell you something about the ground game and Jiu-Jitsu. All you un-athletic people out there, you know this for a fact. Little kids learn Jiu-Jitsu. Women learn Jiu-Jitsu. You don't have to be an athlete to know Jiu-Jitsu. You have to be an athlete to wrestle in college, or to walk into a boxing gym and have competitive boxing matches and fight people. You just have to be a bitch and lay on your back to know Jiu-Jitsu. I mean, come on. It's the truth." -Tank Abbott
“They suspended me because I’m not from Brazil. And I don’t wear my pajamas in the ring.”
-Tank Abbott showing love for the Gi and the Gracies.
from Penthouse magazine:
"What is it you like about Asian Chicks?
Man, they will **** your brains out and then clean your entire house!
My friends make fun of me because I like ugly Japanese girls, but they give better sex, They do everything. They drink it all, if you know what I mean!
"You want to know how to keep your man happy? Don't bitch. let us hang out with the guys and play video games, go bowling, play poker whatever the **** we want to do once or twice a week, and you girls can do the same. Suck our dicks, fix our food. Just don't bitch. Just let us be guys and we will let women be women. "
Stephen Quadros: Are you gonna wear that chain into the ring?
Quinton Jackson: You damn right. I'm fighting a man that beat four Gracies. Damn right I'm taking my chain.
Stephen Quadros: Would you be concerned about Sateke's invisible kick?
Quinton Jackson: I guess so, goddamit, 'cuz if it's invisible, I cannot see the ************.
Interviewer: Quinton. What do you think Igor can do to beat you?
Quinton Jackson: I think he can knock me the **** out! That's what I think!
On his UFC debut against Marvin Eastman:
"I love Marvin, he's like a brother to me. But right now it's time for some black-on-black crime."
Interview before his rematch against Chuck Liddell:
Question: "Chuck said in his pre-fight interview it's gonna be a first round knockout. What do you have to say about that?"
Rampage: "If he plans on getting knocked out in the first round that's his business."
On who is his role model:
"Right now, Chuck Liddell is my role model. I really look up to him, mainly because he is taller then me."
On what impresses him about Chuck Liddell:
"His Mohawk. I'm impressed with how he keeps his Mohawk looking like that every time I see him. I'm really impressed with that. I wonder if he cuts it himself, if he has a barber or does he have a stencil thing he puts on his head so he doesn't mess it up? Chuck keeps that Mohawk looking like that all the time."
On his main concern about fighting Liddell:
"I don't want to kill him. It's a sport you know, I just hope he survives."
After beating Chuck Liddell for the UFC title:
"You can make a mistake and get caught in a submission, but Chuck made a mistake and he got caught in an ass whoopin'."
"I'm gonna put rims on my car, my scooter, my shoes and my everything."
"The drinks are on the house if you get somebody to buy you one."
On being the victor at the end of the fight:
"I like to see my hand raised at the end of the night. I like when the ref raises my hand. That's why I shave my armpits like the professionals wrestlers. I like to see my arm raised."
On the new UFC video game:
"I never get black eyes ... because I am black."
Joking about his friend Tito Ortiz having a large head:
"They made a Tito bobblehead but that (thing) wouldn’t bobble, it would just fall down to one side and stay there."
"If Tito just use his head as a battering ram, he never lose."
On getting into brawls:
"I want to avoid every punch you throw at me, but I'm not scared to get hit. But I'm not just going to let everybody hit me. What the hell's wrong with you?"
On his style of fighting:
"My style is 'whoop that ass.'"
"Have you ever had yo ass whooped by a black man?... It hurts!"
Interview with PRIDE announcer Stephen Quadros:
Quadros: "Rampage, where do you see yourself in 2 years?"
Rampage: "Well, right now I'm 23, so in two years, I see myself 25."
On his taping of the "UFC All Access" show for Spike TV:
"All access was every where man, they even followed me in the bathroom, I give all access to a number two!"
During the UFC All Access show a race car driver hands Rampage gloves and a fire suit before they get on the track:
"You know what happens when I put on gloves? I whoop people's ass. You want your ass whooped?"
On his rematch against PRIDE light-heavyweiht champion Wanderlei Silva:
"When I beat Wanderlei, I'm a take his belt, pull his pants down and spank him for bein so ugly."
Rampage and PRIDE announcer Mauro Ranallo calling a Kevin Randleman fight:
Ranallo: "Theres a left by Jackson ... or make that Randleman, sorry"
Rampage: "Thats alright, all black folks look alike."
Post-fight interview after Jackson fought Matt Lindland:
Stephen Quadros: "Was that like fighting an octopus?"
Rampage: "Man, that was like fighting a big ass smelly skunk. Matt you need to take a shower man."
During a post-fight interview:
"If I forgot a sponsor, then you aint paying me enough."
On PRIDE heavyweight champion Fedor Emelianenko:
"He's a baaaad man. He's a nice guy, though."
On his fight purses:
"Yo man, I need to get paid. I got a ton of kids. I have like a kid every 30 seconds. Wait, what time is it? Damn, there's another one. Told ya."
On his fighting philosophy:
"When someone tries to force themselves upon you, you have to impose yourself upon them. And doing so, you whooping they ass."
"Well the weird thing about me is that I grew up fighting and one of my friends introduced me to it (MMA) and I was like, 'Whoa, you mean I can beat up white dudes and not go to jail?'"
On fighting Ricardo Arona:
"I wanna fight him because I don't know him and he's in the video game, and I'm not."
On the MMA crowds in Japan:
"In Japan, the crowd is quiet, this one time I heard a cute girl fart in the second row."
Some random Rampage quotes:
"My momma said never trust a catfish with a mustache."
"I don't mean to make excuses for all my losses, but I can make excuses for all my losses."
"I ain't no one's punching bag. I go to the gym and see punching bags, and they black. But I ain't no one's punching bag."
Announcer: “And now, a very colorful and decorated fighter… Quinton Rampage Jackson!”
Rampage: “Did you just call me colored?!?”
-Weigh-in for Jackson/Lindland prior to WFA: King of the Streets.
Bas: So how's it hanging
Rampage: I just shaved them up last night so they hanging pretty good.
Rampage "Look at his face man............that there is proof we descended from monkeys". Commenting on Wandy after he beat Sakuraba.
" I want the money,..... I want THAT money,.... i want that money, ....You do know what i can do with that money...?? MEN i can do some THANGS with that money - rampage
"Steven Quadros - "Quinton, if the world was void of curse words, what would you say?" Quinton - "F***"" -Quinton Jackson
Quintin Jackson commentating the Wandy vs Kondo fight---
"Wanderlei better win fast coz i gotta go for a shit"
Interviewer: Rampage, what have you been up to since your fight with Wanderlei?
Rampage: A lot, I beat 3 games!
"The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!" -Bas Rutten.
"Even if you have some problems at home, with your wife, with the kids, or your car isn’t working good, go to my site and leave a message ‘cause Silva will help you!"- Vanderlei Silva.
"Hey Ref.......don't look at me! Pay attention to the fight!" -Bas Rutten distracting the referee during a fight.
"In my early years I was drunk and took a kids bike and rode it home and got charged with stealing. I want to prove to Mirko I am innocent!" -Kazushi Sakuraba after learning his next opponent was a former police officer.
"Who knows what would have happened to him, aeronautically speaking." -Dan Severn.
"I would just stand there, and people would laugh." -Semmy Schilt, a seven foot tall kickboxer.
"Maybe I will hire someone to make some belts for me. It's easier than fighting for them you know." -Kazushi Sakuraba
"I'd rather fight Arona cause I don't know him and he's in the ******* video game and I'm not." -Quinton Jackson
"I'll kick him in the head." -Kazushi Sakuraba on how he would beat champion kickboxer CroCop.
"Do you know what pimp stands for? It stands for Punching Is My Pleasure!" - Shonie Carter
"You should study Pokemon to get stronger." -Kazushi Sakuraba to a defeated adversary.
"We know only one thing about this guy. That he ate a croissant for breakfest this morning." -Bas Rutten commenting on a new French fighter.
"I'm not really sure how he ended up coming up here, to tell you the truth. Once Phil got up here, we were hospitable towards him. We tried to show him some things in training, but the juice just wasn't worth squeezing there. The guy's not real sharp. So I took him out to my farm, showed him a pig and told him it was a short fat horse. He spent the rest of the day trying to get the thing to do cardio. He was pumping TrimSpa pills down its throat. Actually, I think he accidentally dropped some of his special vitamins down its throat because the next morning the thing woke up with a 20-inch bicep. It was rolling around in its own crap, yelling, 'I'm the Oregon Fat Ass! I'm the best eva!" -Matt Lindland on his opponent Phil Baroni.
[In his pre-rematch interviews, Baroni began referring to Lindland as "Woogie," a character played by Chris Elliott in the movie Something About Mary.] "That's a great comeback for him. I wonder what happened that night. Was his illegal cable box broken? He couldn't get the free porno channel? For Phil to go up to that kind of intellectual perch, to watch Something About Mary. That says a lot about the guy." -Matt Lindland before defeating the loud mouth Phil Baroni for a second time.
"Seagal told me he didn't think the fighters in Pride were very good and that he couldn't understand why Kazushi Sakuraba kept winning because he thought he was not very good either. I obviously didn't agree but felt it was not the time or place to get into it with Seagal. So I said, "But at least they test themselves on a regular basis." Then I told him I had heard that he had a student who he thought could defeat Sakuraba. He said he did. I said if he needed help putting the match together I may be able to help him but his guy might be asked to get some experience before going to Japan. We never spoke on the subject after that." -Stephen Quadros on working with Steven Seagal.
"My favorite fighter is Phil Baroni, and I'm pretty sure it's yours too." -Phil Baroni
"If we fight for money, i'll stop hitting you when you ask me to. If we fight for honor, i'll stop hitting you when i feel like it"
"There is no better way to die, than to die in the midst of a battle, fighting to the very end......like a man." -Enson Inoue
"The ground is my ocean, I am the shark, and most people don't even know how to swim." -The Machado brothers, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu experts.
"A black belt only covers two inches of your ass, you have to cover the rest." -Royce Gracie
"I will get my respect or I will die." -Ken Shamrock
"My style is that when I get into the ring, I never assume that I will win before I actually do. The only thing I am confident in is myself. I think to assume that you are going to win before the fight even begins is an insult to your opponent. I've always thought so and I always will." -Emelianko Fedor
"I fight because I like it." -Kazushi Sakuraba
"If it works, don't change." -Royce Gracie
"Blood is just red sweat." Enson Inoue as tattoed on his back.
"Prepare yourself for the worst and the best will always happen." -Tito Ortiz
"The mind is like a parachute. It works best when it is open." -Rickson Gracie
"It's actually the samurai spirit, which is 'no fear and never give up." -Enson Inoue
"It's about having confidence in yourself. I'm not afraid of that man across from me." -Ken Shamrock
"I was born to fight." -K-1 Kickboxer Andy Hug
"You put the Devil on the other side and I will come to fight." -Royce Gracie
"I just keep going until he dies." -Phillip Miller
"Live as a man. Die as a man. Become a man." -Enson Inoue.
"Mike Tyson's a great boxer. The greatest boxer - but boxer. Not the best fighter." -Royce Gracie.
"In Brazil, it's our culture to fight. At school we learn Judo and Jiu-Jitsu. It's a culture about fighting." -Mario Sperry.
"A knock out is an accidental win." -Helio Gracie.
"To truly try is to give all you have, when you have nothing left." -Enson Inoue
"Boxer guys are very tough and they play a very tough game, but its a game. Karate guys, tae kwon doe guys, kickboxers or judo guys, they are very tough guys and a lot of heart and a lot of training, but its very specifically as a sport. It's not a fight. A fight is everything goes." -Rickson Gracie
"Conditioning is my best weapon." -Frank Shamrock
"At least one time in your life, train with the will to die." -Enson Inoue
"My strategy is just to attack, attack and attack." -Don Frye
"I like Tito. I like alot of people but I'll fight every one of 'em. Its all business when I step into the octagon its all business." -Chuck Liddell on fighting his friend Tito Ortiz for the championship.
"I promise violence" -Vanderlei Silva
"The idea of jiu-jitsu is to give the little guy a chance to beat the big guy." -Royce Gracie
"Pain is temporary. Pride is forever." -Enson Inoue.
"I'm already going in with a win." -Jerry Bohlander before losing to Tito Ortiz.
"...and I'm here to bust the ultimate fighting challenge." -Steve Jennum on participating in the Ultimate Fighting Championship.
"I'm gonna break his arm." -Don Frye before losing his next match, nearly getting his arm broken.
"Last time is nothing compared to what i'm gonna do to him this time." -BJ Penn after KO'ing Uno in mere seconds in their first match and hearing of a re-match which ended in a draw.
"I believe it, and I'm going to show the world why the rangers belong in the octagon." -Greg "The Ranger" Stott before getting KO'd in eighteen seconds.
"I come to kill or be killed. My plan is to rip his head off. If that dosen't work I rip his arms off. If that dosen't work I rip his legs off." -Tony Halme before losing to a first time MMA fighter in under thirty seconds.
"They always say there is someone who is bigger, stronger, tougher. Well, I'm here to find him." -Andy Anderson before his loss to a much larger opponent.
"I have a high threshold for pain." -Patrick Smith before tapping out to an submission from Ken Shamrock.
"Tank has no style and needs to be taught a lesson!" -Hugo Duarte before his smashing loss to Tank.
"My breathing techniques make me impervious to chokes." -Joe Son before getting choked out in his first UFC match.
"If I get a hold of something, I'm gonna break it!" -Ken Shamrock before losing his next match.
"I'm here to break people!" -Jon Hess before he breaks his wrist in his next match.
"“I am most dangerous in universe. Your time is over! In three seconds I’ll kick your ass." -Alexander Otsuka whose MMA record is three wins and twelve losses.
"I'm trained in the ancient art of breaking bones." -John Matua before his brutal loss to Tank Abbott.
"Tito is one dimensional, just a big wrestler." -Jerry Bohlander before his loss to Tito Ortiz.
"I'm gonna show Tito who Ken Shamrock is, was, and is now".-Ken Shamrock before his loss.
"I'm going to teach him a lesson in humility." -Ken Shamrock before his loss to Tito Ortiz.
"I'm gonna beat you down, like the punk you are, cause that's what you are is a punk!" -Ken Shamrock boasting before losing yet again.
"I plan on knocking him out and punishing him. Making him quit. Making him say, you know, "Phil, you're the better man. I'm sorry. I tapped out, please let me get out of here with my life." So, that's going to be the difference." -Phil Baroni before losing to Matt Lindland a second time.
"You're beautiful." -Mikey Burnett's cornerman after Mike won a match.
"It's all good, Homey." -Bobby Hoffman
"I've been to the hypnotherapist, and I've seen myself winning that belt a hundred times. Now all that's left is to go out there and get it." -Jim Mullen before his defeat by Scott Ferrozo.
"I like American guys!" -Gilbert Yvel.
"I just take fights that make me feel comfortable." -Tito Ortiz, suspected by some to be dodging fights.
"Dana White pisses me off when he says Murilo Bustamante is the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. He knows he’s not. If he doesn’t want to defend his title, he’s nothing. Step up and fight me. He doesn’t have championship blood flowing through him. He doesn’t want to fight me and I don’t blame him. He wants to go to Japan, but I’m loyal to the UFC. I’ll hang them up as the undefeated middleweight champion of the UFC. Who cares about (Japanese Fighting Organization) Pride? They don’t even have weight classes. I’m American. I can’t stand Brazilians. They live in a third-world country anyway, so they’ll go anywhere if there’s a little money. I live in America. I want to be a champion of an American organization.” -Phil Baroni who had lost twice to Matt Lindland who in turn was beaten decisively by Murilo Bustamente.
"When people wanted his signature it was real hard to sign because of all the punches he does during a fight. His hands were shaking! I had never thought about that! He said I needed a signature stamp." -Art Santore.
"I don't care who it is. I'll Knock em both out." -Chuck Liddell on Tito and Ken.
"What he doesn't know is the knee is 100%. He can go ahead and attack the the knee because I'm gonna bash his face in when he does." Tito Ortiz on Shamrock going after his repaired knee before UFC 40.
"The higher a monkey climbs up a tree, the more he has to cover his ass." -Shonie Carter.
"I am sure I have fought many guys on roids. I fight for Pride." -Dan Henderson.
"What have I got better than anyone? Age. -Kazushi Sakuraba
"Please don't laugh at me if I ever get knocked out." -Quinton Jackson to his commentating partners after watching a fighter nearly get knocked out and laughing about it.
"It's Ju-Jitsu bitch"
Quoted from the premiere issue of fight magazine.This is what Matt Serra told his ex-girlfriend when she mistakenly called BJJ Judo.
"I've been doing this, since BJ was on his father's nutsack" -Renzo Gracie pre-fight interview before fighting BJ Penn.
"Maybe he should go back to Japan or something where the competition is easier" -Chris Leben before his 1st round KO loss to Anderson Silva.
"I'm going to make you my new Sakuraba" -Wanderlei Silva to Rampage
"Punish me for three rounds? You’ve punished the fans enough with your lay and pray antics for 15 minutes at a time. Surely they’ve suffered enough?" Bisping to Rashad Evans
"Jesus Christ, what a fight." -Bas Rutten.
"All I saw was swinging." -Jim Brown.
"Tank's a fantastic human being, as far as fightings concerned." -Jim Brown
"Well that ends an exciting round of LAYING." -Stephen Quadros
"That's straight from the shaolin temple." -Eddie Bravo observing a pathetic spinning backfist.
"This match has so far been a hugging contest." -Stephen Quadros.
"Wresters need a lesson in submission and I'm just the one to teach them." -Frank Shamrock
"Whomever they put in the ring with me will be treated the same gentle way." -Vanderlei Silva
"Anyone can win two fights in one night. But it is the third fight that tells you if you have steel balls or not." -Don Frye
"You just have to realize that Jet Li is a movie star. He's great at what he does, but if he stepped into our world he wouldn't last long." -Chuck Liddell
"If you can't hold your own, you're gonna get knocked out. You're bleeding all over the place. There are many, many nights that these boys are crawling off the mats. They drop from body shots, their nose is just bleeding like a faucet. On Wednesday nights, they come in and get a beating. It only happens once with these guys. You'll get karate experts or Tae Kwon Do experts and they can't hold a candle." -Tim Sylvia
"This is my world. You step into my world, you will step out a looser I guarentee it." -Frank Shamrock
"there is nothing there, nothing there. Royce doesn't have enough power in his legs to do anything to Severen. Dan is in no danger here" Jeff Blatnick, UFC 4.
"Yes, Belfort has beaten many big names, like.....Vitor Belfort, and, uh, others." -Stephen Quadros
"l'll slip a finger in his eye or something." -Gilbert Yvel on his next match, after having used illegal eye gouges in his last match.
"It's an octagonal octagon." -Bill Wallace.
"Pat! Combinate him!" -Patrick Smith's cornerman.
"Hey, I can't see anything, point me in the right direction man. Tell me what to do, really because I can't see. Dehydration hit. Everything blacked out. So it's up to you guys now. Tell me what should I do. I'm a soldier.” -Royce Gracie after a tough battle in the UFC.
"I took his warrior spirit." -Ken Shamrock.
"I go to Deezneeland." -Royce Gracie after winning the first UFC.
"I didn't think I was going to win." -Remco Pardoel after winning.
"I made him say, please Frank, stop hitting me." -Frank Shamrock after brutalizing John Lober.
"When it came, it came HAAAARD!" Robbie Lawler on his eye gashing blow to Tiki.
"I'd like to thank Dariel pasta." -Phil Baroni.
"What I tell ya? Don't blink! It's just gonna be over quick." -Tito Ortiz
"You won't be UFC champion, but you will know pain." -Bas Rutten on defending his UFC championship.
''He will sleep brother.'' -Royce Gracie to his brother before winning over Ken Shamrock.
"To all those that thought I would lose... **** you!" -Wesley Correira earning his first UFC victory.
"They stopped it because of a cut." -Tiki Ghosen after a loss from a K.O.
"I've never been hit flush in the face before." -Manny Yarborough
"Things have become a little too virtual for me." -Paul Varelans
"I ain't no loser." -Gary Goodridge after a UFC loss
"************." -Jason DeLucia gasped after being floored by Bas Rutten
"The japanese appreciate this samurai spirit stuff very much, the spirit of the warrior. They have great admiration for the guy that's standing there, in clear disadvantage, but doesn't give up and tries to win until the last second of the third round. And that's exactly what happened. It never crossed my mind to quit. Right through to the end, all I thought about was winning." -Antonio Nogueira on losing his championship fight.
"Without a broken hand and a broken foot, I'd hit him in the face." -Gerard Gordeau after losing to Royce Gracie. He broke his hand and foot fighting his previous two opponents in UFC 1
"Next time I fight Tito, I will deform his face." -Vanderlei Silva after losing to Tito Ortiz
"He choke me. I choke him!" -Keith Hackney
"I came to party in the octagon." -Cal Worsham.
"I'm here to release the beast." -Dan "The Beast" Severn.
"Yeah Pat! C'mon Pat!!! Put a whooping on that boy!" -Cal Worsham's cornermen during the fight he lost to Tank Abbott.
"Why you want to talk about theeese cheeecken! He is cheeecken!" -Wallid Ismail talking about his rival.
"If you're coming on, come on!" -Harold Howard before becoming one of the many losers of early UFC's.
"Sex anytime is a good thing." -Gary Goodridge.
"His gi will be totally red from his own blood." -Vanderlei Silva on fighting a certain opponent who wears a gi in the ring.
"Holy shit, your a tall mother ******!" -Jeremy Horn upon noticing his opponents size. Jeremy still won however.
"I am against the war, but I agree with the american attack. Humanity is rotten, and only thru an earthquake, a tsunami or a war we can clean it up. The stench is everywhere. They are all the same." -Helio Gracie.
"Sometimes I became really aggressive, which was dangerous for my fellow villagers." -Igor Vovchanchyn
"Inside the ring Enson thinks outside the ring Enson's a pussy." -Enson Inoue
"But nothing hairy for El Guapo please." -Bas "El Guapo" Rutten
"Here is a quote is for you... striker18 is a six two 119lbs of alpha male and I am glad we are not in the same weight class and that I only weigh 80 more pounds trust me I met him at a keyboard warrior seminar and that guy is intense he is mean as hell and looking for a bowl of rice." -Vernon White on internet critics.
"I'll be back in about three minutes." -Robbie Lawler before defeating his opponent in under ninty seconds.
"He came out throwing kicks like i knew it"
- Robbie Lawler on the Tiki fight
“Great time to come out of retirement Randy.”
-Mike Goldberg to Randy Couture as the camera locks onto an emotionless Cro Cop at UFC 67.
“Right leg, hospital; Left leg, cemetery”
-Mirko Cro Cop describing his kicks.
“You lost a fight, big deal. If that’s the worst thing that happens to you for the rest of your life then you’re doing pretty good.”
-Randy Couture putting wins and losses into perspective.
"He’s got a weak chin, I have heavy hands”
- Nate Quarry before getting knocked out by Rich Franklin at UFC 56.
“I have a high threshold for pain.”
-Patrick Smith before quickly tapping out to Ken Shamrock at UFC 1.
“Georges St. Pierre is a B-level fighter”
-Frank Trigg prior to getting clowned by GSP at UFC 54.
“My breathing techniques make me impervious to chokes.”
-Joe Son before getting choked out at UFC 4.
“Tito Ortiz will no longer fight in the UFC as long as I’m president”
-Dana White on the future of then-exiled Tito Ortiz
"Tito took a book out of Chuck’s chapter”
-Mike Goldberg on Tito hanging tough at UFC 66.
“Matt Hughes and his brother used to pound each other behind the barn growing up”
-Mike Goldberg describing how wrestling is in the blood at the Hughes farm.
“I beat him square and fair … oh … I’m sorry … fairly squarely”
-GSP on his win against BJ Penn.
“Our plan was to let the bully come, let him think he was hurting me. Then when he lets up, destroy him.”
-Ken Shamrock on why his second fight with Tito Ortiz was stopped prematurely.
“All I need now is to get laid. Come on guys, who’s gonna take one for the team?”
-Luke Cummo after victory (and twenty ice cream sandwiches) on The Ultimate Fighter 2.
“I’ll come into the Octagon smelling like liquor and dirty hookers and still put the stomp on these kids.”
-Chris Leben revealing a little too much about his nightlife.
“I want to f*ck Chuck”
-Wandy trying to say he wanted to “Fight” Chuck Liddell on PPV in front of millions of viewers.
“I should have fcking went to sleep like a man but I tapped out like a little bitch.”
-Ed Herman on his loss to Jason Macdonald at UFC Fight Night
"Fitch? My boy Jake choked him out already. I’m ready to start talking s*** on these guys. What do I have to do to fight one of these guys or get the promoters to make it happen? Call these guys pussies? Fine. They’re all pussies. F*** every single one of them.”
- Nick Diaz
“He’s an excellent little boxer for you know, for a little Japanese guy but uh you know, he’s fck, he’s fcking doing some little hadouken fcking punch in there to me.”
-Nick Diaz after defeating Takanori Gomi at PRIDE 33
"He got natural farm boy strength, ya know, from lifting horses...and knocking out cow, whatever the hell he doing man"
- Dorian Price commenting on fellow TUF 6 contestant, Tommy Speer
"I don't try to knock 'em out, I just know I will" -Chuck Liddell
"I am undefeated. I have 9 knockouts! I am 11 and zero. How many knockouts does he have? TWO?
-Thiago Silva pre-fight for Houston Alexander. (Houston actually has 4)
"You are like an expert swimmer that never gets in the water." Matt Serra on Marc Laimon a BJJ coach on TUF 4 who doesn't enter compition.
"I know his wife likes my ears"
Randy Couture talking about Tito Ortiz on a sports show. Tito was at the studio and Randy was somewhere else. That's one of the only times I've heard Randy say anything close to trash talking before a fight. It made Tito really mad.
Mark Coleman: "When I started, for a while I was just going on instincts. But they took head butts away so I had to learn some skills."
"I know I hurt him because when I hit him he said AAAAAAAAAH" - GSP about Sherk
Tim Sylvia after they told him he was banned for taking steroids ...
" I didn't take any stereos" ... thinking he was being busted for stealing car stereos.
"Lets be honest now , who would want to lose a street fight to a Canadian?!" Matt Hughes UFC 50
"'You can buy muscles, you cant buy cojones" Bas Rutten
- "This is me the Count of Monte Cristo you see? The king of sting, the master of diaster....**** all y'all bitches"
- "He looks like a dick, he thinks he's cool cause he's all them tattoos on him...pale, pasty face nob head"
-"Goodnight, I'll most likely kill you in the morning"
- Michael "The Count" Bisping
"My diet is like atkins, but with the carbs"
"That little guy, I don't know, i don't know what the ****; he was doing some karate in there, uh he's doing you know some crazy super punch shit."
".. he's doing some little ****** hydokin ****** punch out there to me."
-Nick Diaz - Post fight interview with Sherdog after the Gomi fight.
“I’m not afraid of Chuck’s hands I get hit by Ken Shamrock please” Vernon White before Chuck Knocked him out and broke his orbital bone in his face.
"a kickboxer which basically uses the boxing techniques, as well as the kicking techniques from tai kwan do.. with kicking." - Bill Wallace (Hopeless UFC 1 commentator)
"I was so happy and took out my gum shield and threw it into the crowd, but I am not a good thrower and I hit a lady on the third row in the forehead, who just happened to be Caol Uno's mother." - Joachim Hansen
Phil Baroni being interviewed
"What else do you bring into the arena?"
"Gracie showed what real martial arts is about. It's not about you got some pretty kicks, or thinkin' you got some death touch..."
"Before fight, I said that Royler is an appetizer, Rickson is main dish. But I "doubt that match will happen, main dish is now rotten!!"
"Lindland looks just like Woogie from There is Something About Mary, how am I possibly supposed to take this guy seriously? Referring to Matt Lindland!"
"Ive been fighting since he was in his dad's nut sack. (renzo on the bj penn fight)"
"Let's say I was driving a yellow bus... a school bus, and I took Yoshida to school - Royce after the Yoshida MMA fight."
"On Roylers claims he was OK, despite obvioulsy seperated shoulder swelling. If I did it more, his shoulder was destroyed. Royler could escape from it? I want to learn this way. I may take part in Gracie seminar and pay expensive fee."
"Iceman! The Iceman! With your belly you look more like the 'Snowman'! (Tito to Chuck Liddell)"
"I challenged Coleman and he accepted, he said he'd fight me. I pointed at Baroni and challenged him too, he looked at me with a bewildered look on his face and asked: "Me?", I said "Thats right, You!!" I also challenged Quinton Jackson and he looked at me and said "Me too?", and I responded. If you want some, there is some for you too!"
Rogan : "Mirko talk us through the Mickey's replay.."
Mirko : "..... ................. ............... ......"
"i just want world peace, i would ******* kill for world peace"- kevin rnadleman
"I mean who else can box you up, take you down and gogo you, fuk!, put me in a magazine" Nick Diaz
I'm going to give Keith Jardine Hell but I don't think he'll mind because he sort of looks like Satan."-Stephan Bonnar
" come to my after party or you can go to Wanderlei's at the hospital"-Henderson after knocking out Wandi
"He turtled up... like a turtle-" Kimo, UFC 48, on his first fight with Ken Shamrock
"Don't fear me - fear the consequences" - Paul buentello
"Half this game is 90% mental" - Tim Sylvia
"sorry that wasnt a very good analogy, come on give me a break, i just got punched in the head by a big crazy russian with a tatoo of the grim reaper holding a baby on his back"
-Josh Barnett after fighting Alex Emelianenko
"Nick Diaz is a sociopath with a black belt in jiu-jitsu, and that’s the worst kind of sociopath." - Ben Fowlkes
Joe Rogan asking Tank Abbott why he never fought Royce Gracie.
Tank replied, "If I wanted to spend a half hour between a pair of hairy legs I'd go see your mom."
Don Frye: "Dear Ken (Shamrock), now I heard that you lost your virginity to Freddie Mercury. But I defended you. I said 'No no, Ken Shamrock lost his virginity to a man long before he started dating Freddie Mercury'"
Gabe Ruediger "I'm giving 100% out there."
Monstah Lobstah "You need to stop giving 100% in the kitchen."
"Two things you think about when you see another man... Who has a bigger dick and can I take that guy in a fight... One thing you cant do anything about, the other you can"
"I think i just heard rich franklin run to the gym" Joe Rogan, after Silva destroys Leban.
"Years ago we hardly had anything to eat. Now I earn more money and I see every opponent as a man that tries to put me back to that poorer period. That man has to be eliminated."
"My weight is not enough and strength is not enough either, so I have to take the fight by mastery."
Barnoni vs Frank Shamrock press confrence:
Question: Frank, are you still sticking by letting your fists do the talking? Or are you going to respond to this?
Shamrock: Well, it is what it is. I am a professional martial artist, and I am a professional fighter. Phil is a professional idiot. I let my talking happen in the ring.
Don Frye on Ken Shamrock
"Ken Shamrock is the most dangerious man in the world?, yeah maybe behind the wheel of a car"
"I'm not gonna go in there like one of these suckers and get submitted" - Danny Abbadi in his pre-fight interview against Ed Herman( just before he tapped out due to an armbar).
Here are some more i dont think have been posted yet (sorry if some have and i missed them)"He came out throwing kicks like i knew it"
- Robbie Lawler on the Tiki fight“A black belt only covers two inches of your ass. You have to cover the rest.”
-Royce Gracie on being a complete fighter.“Great time to come out of retirement Randy.”
-Mike Goldberg to Randy Couture as the camera locks onto an emotionless Cro Cop at UFC 67.“Right leg, hospital; Left leg, cemetery”
-Mirko Cro Cop describing his kicks.“You lost a fight, big deal. If that’s the worst thing that happens to you for the rest of your life then you’re doing pretty good.”
-Randy Couture putting wins and losses into perspective."He’s got a weak chin, I have heavy hands”
- Nate Quarry before getting knocked out by Rich Franklin at UFC 56.“I have a high threshold for pain.”
-Patrick Smith before quickly tapping out to Ken Shamrock at UFC 1.“Georges St. Pierre is a B-level fighter”
-Frank Trigg prior to getting clowned by GSP at UFC 54.“My breathing techniques make me impervious to chokes.”
-Joe Son before getting choked out at UFC 4.“Tito Ortiz will no longer fight in the UFC as long as I’m president”
-Dana White on the future of then-exiled Tito Ortiz"Tito took a book out of Chuck’s chapter”
-Mike Goldberg on Tito hanging tough at UFC 66.“Matt Hughes and his brother used to pound each other behind the barn growing up”
-Mike Goldberg describing how wrestling is in the blood at the Hughes farm.“I beat him square and fair … oh … I’m sorry … fairly squarely”
-GSP on his win against BJ Penn.“You got kicked by a kick”
-Ken Shamrock to a dazed and confused Solomon Hutcherson after getting knocked out by Rory Singer during The Ultimate Fighter 3.“Our plan was to let the bully come, let him think he was hurting me. Then when he lets up, destroy him.”
-Ken Shamrock on why his second fight with Tito Ortiz was stopped prematurely.Announcer: “And now, a very colorful and decorated fighter… Quinton Rampage Jackson!”
Rampage: “Did you just call me colored?!?”
-Weigh-in for Jackson/Lindland prior to WFA: King of the Streets.“They suspended me because I’m not from Brazil. And I don’t wear my pajamas in the ring.”
-Tank Abbott showing love for the Gi and the Gracies.“All I need now is to get laid. Come on guys, who’s gonna take one for the team?”
-Luke Cummo after victory (and twenty ice cream sandwiches) on The Ultimate Fighter 2.“It was like getting raped by Freddy Mercury”
-Tank Abbott on losing to Dan Severn“I’ll come into the Octagon smelling like liquor and dirty hookers and still put the stomp on these kids.”
-Chris Leben revealing a little too much about his nightlife.“I want to f*ck Chuck”
-Wandy trying to say he wanted to “Fight” Chuck Liddell on PPV in front of millions of viewers.“I should have fcking went to sleep like a man but I tapped out like a little bitch.”
-Ed Herman on his loss to Jason Macdonald at UFC Fight Night
"Fitch? My boy Jake choked him out already. I’m ready to start talking s*** on these guys. What do I have to do to fight one of these guys or get the promoters to make it happen? Call these guys pussies? Fine. They’re all pussies. F*** every single one of them.”
- Nick Diaz
AND MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE“He’s an excellent little boxer for you know, for a little Japanese guy but uh you know, he’s fck, he’s fcking doing some little hadouken fcking punch in there to me.”
-Nick Diaz after defeating Takanori Gomi at PRIDE 33