Funny things you've overheard...

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SmileR
8/5/08 3:15:29PM
Today I was walking home from work and was crossing the field. Ahead of me their was a group of lads about 10 or 11 talking about their girlfriends.
One of the kids started off saying he had recently "popped his cherry" with his new girlfriend. Heres what their conversation basically went....

Boy 1: - Well I defiantly did it... We used a condom and everything.
Boy 2: - You did not!
Boy 1: - We did, I'v still got the packet at home!!!
Boy 2: - Ohh yeah come on then, show us.
Boy 1: - Ok we'll go now.
Boy 1: - We really did.
Boy 2: - What did you do then?
Boy 1: - We were in my house and just did it!
Boy 2: - How?!
Boy 1: - When I got it out she wanted to blow on it to get it open.

At this point I was nearly crying with laughter but trying to hold it in..

Boy 2: - Blow on what?
Boy 1: - The condom, thats how you put them on.
Boy 2: - How?
Boy 1: - You blow in it and then when its long enough you put it on.



I couldn't stop laughing! I know its just kids but dam that was funny!

You guys ever overheard anything funnier?
Mchubb316
8/5/08 3:21:31PM
That is funny.
iwannabesedated
8/5/08 3:34:15PM
My buddy and his girlfriend talking about licking each others buttholes.
gsquat
8/5/08 3:42:22PM

Posted by 40ouncetofreedom

My buddy and his girlfriend talking about licking each others buttholes.



Uh... Each others?... need new friends.
juanez13
8/5/08 3:49:44PM
caught my lil brother(15 at the time, now 16) on the phone talking to one of his friends about how his girlfriend gave him head for the first time, he was talking in the wireless phone in his room and i picked up the phone in the kitchen, first thing i heard was " yea man she was like a pro, it felt so good", I was just about dying when i heard that, so I pitched in the conversation and said "yea i remember the first time i got head i was just about your age" and i started laughing and he hung up right away. I nearly passed out cus i couldnt breathe from laughing so hard.

EDIT: gotta spread it, but great thread and hilarious story.
rabbit915
8/5/08 4:00:46PM

Posted by gsquat


Posted by 40ouncetofreedom

My buddy and his girlfriend talking about licking each others buttholes.



Uh... Each others?... need new friends.




Would you prefer they were talking about licking their own?
Aaronno9
8/5/08 4:03:11PM


I guess one of the funniest things i heard was at my buddies 17th birthday party at his house, and he took this chick who was a little loose to his room so everybody knew he was about to get laid for the first time. Anyways, i leave the toilet and theirs a group of people listening in at the door so i went over to check it out - Basically all i could hear was this chick ripping on him becouse " 2 minutes is not how long the average guy can go" and him begging her not to tell anybody, only for everybody at the door to burst out laughing and him to realise everybody knew anyways.
gsquat
8/5/08 4:19:58PM

Posted by rabbit915


Posted by gsquat


Posted by 40ouncetofreedom

My buddy and his girlfriend talking about licking each others buttholes.



Uh... Each others?... need new friends.




Would you prefer they were talking about licking their own?



Hmm... Suppose not.
loller90278
8/5/08 4:43:07PM

Posted by 40ouncetofreedom

My buddy and his girlfriend talking about licking each others buttholes.



haha, me and my girl do that all the time (....half jokingly) to gross people out
Rush
8/5/08 5:01:42PM
This was several years ago

I hear this group of high school kids talking to this (older) guy about music. They asked him what he liked to listen to and he said, jazz, etc. etc. He asked them what they listened to and they said "alternative". So he asked, "alternative to what?" And they replied, well you know, "just alternative" Meanwhile I was busting a gut because these kids didn't know that "alternative" is not a music genre (although it is commonly and incorrectly referred to as alternative).


another one:

This one girl once said that she "wanted to go to Africa to be a mercenary" -- I think she meant to say missionary


Of course that one miss USA pageant answer was pretty funny.
aaa9erh8er
8/5/08 5:23:34PM
we where all partying on night back in high school at my friends house i go upstairs to pass out and i pass another room and as im walking by i hear"ouch it hurts it wont fit" in a unfamilar voice then i hear"shut the **** up you stupid bithc and spit on it and itll fit fine" i guess my brother was getting his. altho i never asked him about it im pretty sure we all no what was going on

kinda along the lines of this topic i walking into my buddys garage and his gf is talking funny i say whats with you she says my jaw is dislocated i look at my friend and say"thats my friend"


lol all good posts tho
iwannabesedated
8/5/08 5:54:59PM

Posted by gsquat


Posted by 40ouncetofreedom

My buddy and his girlfriend talking about licking each others buttholes.



Uh... Each others?... need new friends.



Noi like my friend..I just wont drink after him or his girl.

The funnier part was he said how nice and numb it made him feel.

He's actually in my fight camp...
Sam_Rothstein
8/5/08 11:52:07PM
good stories everyone haha ill throw mine in

This kid was beating me up on Grand Theft Auto 4 on xbox live. He was getting the luckiest shots on me ever and was talking so much crap on his microphone. Than all of the sudden his mom comes in and starts cursing the kid out in spanish and he starts pleading to be allowed to finish the game..less than 2 seconds later it said he had left the game.
SpiderSilva
8/6/08 1:14:11AM
My dog eats condoms my wife is a vet and for a while my dog was shitting out condoms all the other works said they would no longer kiss my dog

anyway yesterday I look over my dog shit out a condom then started eating it again



note to self when finished thow in trash or flush
mikevolz
8/6/08 1:46:30AM
me and a buddy were walking back from class

there's a guy in front of us on the phone, and hes walking with intent

he picked up his phone

"hey man"
...
"did you hear this shit about jennys new boyfriend?" (very angry)
...
"hes a ************* sex offender, he ****** his 8 year old cousin. Hes ******* online for it"
...
"im on my way"


i was crying i was laughing so hard.
Pookie
8/6/08 3:40:28AM

"...Babe, Of course its ok to swallow, everybody does it. Its like the new black."

I walked by, heard this, and spit out my drink from just the shock of actually hearing someone say this.

I wanted to shake the mans hand, but i didnt want to cockblock the guy as he was finessing his way to some throat action.

Really though, the new black? that shit is creative.
Rush
8/6/08 7:18:51AM

Posted by Pookie


"...Babe, Of course its ok to swallow, everybody does it. Its like the new black."

I walked by, heard this, and spit out my drink from just the shock of actually hearing someone say this.

I wanted to shake the mans hand, but i didnt want to cockblock the guy as he was finessing his way to some throat action.

Really though, the new black? that shit is creative.




Are all girls this dumb in the US? I mean, some of the stories I am hearing are just unbelievable.
rabbit915
8/6/08 9:23:36AM
Yes, most girls are. Ecspecially ones pursuing higher education in my experience.
fedorwins1
8/6/08 11:07:28AM

Posted by SpiderSilva

My dog eats condoms my wife is a vet and for a while my dog was shitting out condoms all the other works said they would no longer kiss my dog

anyway yesterday I look over my dog shit out a condom then started eating it again



note to self when finished thow in trash or flush



Ok, that has nothing to do with this thread and it's ******* weird as shit man...
casey64
8/6/08 2:14:34PM

Posted by fedorwins1


Posted by SpiderSilva

My dog eats condoms my wife is a vet and for a while my dog was shitting out condoms all the other works said they would no longer kiss my dog

anyway yesterday I look over my dog shit out a condom then started eating it again



note to self when finished thow in trash or flush



Ok, that has nothing to do with this thread and it's ******* weird as shit man...





Agreed
Red-Dragon
8/6/08 2:33:07PM

Posted by casey64


Posted by fedorwins1


Posted by SpiderSilva

My dog eats condoms my wife is a vet and for a while my dog was shitting out condoms all the other works said they would no longer kiss my dog

anyway yesterday I look over my dog shit out a condom then started eating it again



note to self when finished thow in trash or flush



Ok, that has nothing to do with this thread and it's ******* weird as shit man...





Agreed



All dogs eat there own if they fancy it.
casey64
8/6/08 3:32:20PM

Posted by Red-Dragon


Posted by casey64


Posted by fedorwins1


Posted by SpiderSilva

My dog eats condoms my wife is a vet and for a while my dog was shitting out condoms all the other works said they would no longer kiss my dog

anyway yesterday I look over my dog shit out a condom then started eating it again



note to self when finished thow in trash or flush



Ok, that has nothing to do with this thread and it's ******* weird as shit man...





Agreed



All dogs eat there own if they fancy it.




misses1112
8/6/08 4:08:14PM

Posted by Rush


Posted by Pookie


"...Babe, Of course its ok to swallow, everybody does it. Its like the new black."

I walked by, heard this, and spit out my drink from just the shock of actually hearing someone say this.

I wanted to shake the mans hand, but i didnt want to cockblock the guy as he was finessing his way to some throat action.

Really though, the new black? that shit is creative.




Are all girls this dumb in the US? I mean, some of the stories I am hearing are just unbelievable.



yes, most girls are dumb & my favorite color is black
iwannabesedated
8/6/08 4:39:08PM
Awhile back i was outside at work in the smoke area and i hear this kid talking to this girl about the UFC..and I hear him say..well you have to know who Matt Hughes is he;s the 43year old lightweight champion...

Not something i've overheard but,me and some friends were eating at the boston beanery one night and i look over and see this large lady licking her plate...i mean i love ranch dressing as much as the next person but to be licking your plate clean is just un called for...I felt bad for her children.
kaskd
8/6/08 6:09:30PM
I didn't personally hear this, but I trust my friend. He got kicked out of college so he ended up having to go to a local community college. There were 2 girls in front of him in a class, both ugly and overweight and this is their last semester.

G1: So what're you gonna do after you graduate?
G2: I dunno, i wanna be an actress, honestly.
G1: Really?
G2: Yeah, you know, I'll start out in porn and see what else I can do after.

Pookie
8/6/08 6:54:49PM

Posted by misses1112


Posted by Rush


Posted by Pookie


"...Babe, Of course its ok to swallow, everybody does it. Its like the new black."

I walked by, heard this, and spit out my drink from just the shock of actually hearing someone say this.

I wanted to shake the mans hand, but i didnt want to cockblock the guy as he was finessing his way to some throat action.

Really though, the new black? that shit is creative.




Are all girls this dumb in the US? I mean, some of the stories I am hearing are just unbelievable.



yes, most girls are dumb & my favorite color is black




hahaha

only a woman could get away with such hilarity.
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