Funniest Memories You'll Never Forget

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kopower
5/19/11 10:43:03PM
What are some of your funniest memories of your life so far? Every now and then I find myself smiling at something that happened in the past.

The most recent that sticks out for me was our family vacation awhile back. My mom's side of the family has about 50 people, including grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. We have been renting out a resort on a lake for a week in northern Minnesota for around 15 years now. Anyways, my aunts got into making purses out of duct tape. I know, I know, don't ask. My cousin was sitting at a picnic table watching all the girls making these purses. Out of nowhere, he yells out, and I quote "If ya can't duck it, fu*k it!! Little did he know, our 80 year old grandma was sitting right behind him. He gave us this funny look of, why aren't any of you laughing? He did the slow turn around, saw our grandma, and just put his head into his hands. Grandma was just staring him down, so disappointed.

One moment I'll probably never forget.
BeeR
5/20/11 5:53:52AM
I was at a Tim Hortons having a coffee, watching the cars in the drive through( fun yes?) this young lady hits the car in front of her, puts it in reverse, hits the car behind her, panics, throws it in Drive, and hits the car infront of her again! she immediatly put it in park put her head on the steering wheel and started bawling her eyes out.
pmoney
6/24/11 12:10:48AM
Good stories guys! I got one. It's kind of hateful (if you're a woman, lol), so the names will be changed to protect the very guilty.

I'm at a big party with all of the guys. 10-15 of us, plus the party-goers. This one chick is walking around, we all knew her from being slutty in school, and my friend Jake says, "Hey, I'll give you five bucks if you make out with Steve". To which she replies with much class, "Make it $20". So Jake says ok. Steve and the hooker start making out. Pretty intense too. This girl apparently needed the $20.

So they are done, and she asks for her money, of course. Jake looks at her and says, "Here." and throws three dollar bills at this girls tits. So of course she is heated. "Steve is disgusting, I wouldn't make out with him for $3". She starts asking for her money from everybody, and of course no one gives a **** and laughs at her for being a dumb whore. She has an attitude all night.

Now, picture the scene: this is a big house, big party. There is the house, with a driveway that divides the house and garage. The party is in the house, in the driveway, and the garage.

While walking from the house to the garage to play some pool, Steve and I see the skank. He fills up his cup with beer (duh), and says "Watch this." He douses this chick with beer, and we run in to the garage and pick up the pool cues and act like we've been playing the whole time.

She says, "I know you did that Steve", and is distraught. I can barely contain my laughter, and we are all just telling her she is dumb and to shut it. Her friend comes and calms her down. Festivities resume.

About 30 minutes later, she comes back in to the garage with her girlfriend, where one of the kegs is located. She decides a keg stand is in order. While in the middle of the keg stand, Steve AGAIN douses her with another full beer. Everyone but her and her friend are laughing hysterically.

I laughed so hard, I don't really remember what happened after that....
papercut
6/24/11 1:07:09AM
for the thread topic. and so far hilarious stories.

I will also change names for the sake of anonymity
so a buddy of mine had his parents house to himself for a week and did what every kid with an empty house does and threw a party. now I don't drink but I enjoy a good party regardless which means I had the pleasure of experiencing this sober as it happened .
So the party had died down and it was pretty much just my core group of friends left they were all sittin around watchin tv and drinking UV blue, one of my buddies "adam"(completely gone at this point) asks this girl for a hug. so she gives him one. then 10 minutes later claims she never gave him one. this went on for about an hour then everything had quieted down and it was dead silent when he blurts out "yo Eve! Lemme get a blow job!" everyone busts out laughing and she respectfully declines. then another dead silence followed by adam breaking the silence by telling Eve that he wants to take her to the tire section of Walmart and have sex in a tire. so every time they are both together and we're at walmart or see a tire section of any store we make sure to point it out.

emfleek
6/24/11 8:12:22AM

Posted by pmoney

Good stories guys! I got one. It's kind of hateful (if you're a woman, lol), so the names will be changed to protect the very guilty.

I'm at a big party with all of the guys. 10-15 of us, plus the party-goers. This one chick is walking around, we all knew her from being slutty in school, and my friend Jake says, "Hey, I'll give you five bucks if you make out with Steve". To which she replies with much class, "Make it $20". So Jake says ok. Steve and the hooker start making out. Pretty intense too. This girl apparently needed the $20.

So they are done, and she asks for her money, of course. Jake looks at her and says, "Here." and throws three dollar bills at this girls tits. So of course she is heated. "Steve is disgusting, I wouldn't make out with him for $3". She starts asking for her money from everybody, and of course no one gives a **** and laughs at her for being a dumb whore. She has an attitude all night.

Now, picture the scene: this is a big house, big party. There is the house, with a driveway that divides the house and garage. The party is in the house, in the driveway, and the garage.

While walking from the house to the garage to play some pool, Steve and I see the skank. He fills up his cup with beer (duh), and says "Watch this." He douses this chick with beer, and we run in to the garage and pick up the pool cues and act like we've been playing the whole time.

She says, "I know you did that Steve", and is distraught. I can barely contain my laughter, and we are all just telling her she is dumb and to shut it. Her friend comes and calms her down. Festivities resume.

About 30 minutes later, she comes back in to the garage with her girlfriend, where one of the kegs is located. She decides a keg stand is in order. While in the middle of the keg stand, Steve AGAIN douses her with another full beer. Everyone but her and her friend are laughing hysterically.

I laughed so hard, I don't really remember what happened after that....



Your friend Steve sounds like he could benefit from having his ass whooped.

Not even cool.
pmoney
6/25/11 5:41:52AM

Posted by emfleek
Your friend Steve sounds like he could benefit from having his ass whooped.

Not even cool.



As it turns out, Steve did get his ass whooped a few nights later. Not for that though. He got in to a fight over football at the bar with some random dudes and got knocked out.
warglory
6/25/11 11:57:42PM
I remember one time I was walking across the street to the cafeteria during college with a couple of friends, and as we were walking I saw a couple of cute girls from my dorm walking in the other direction so of course I had to start walking all cool and collected, making sure to make eye contact. The next thing I know I was tripping on the curb on the other side of the street, stumbling forward and going face first into a chain link fence. I immediately stood up, face pulsing with pain, and continued to walk as if nothing happened, smiling at the girls. I thought my buddies were going to piss themselves right there on the sidewalk. The girls were a bit concerned and weirded out, which made my friends laugh even harder. I still get razzed about this on occasion years later.
Kpro
6/27/11 2:40:33AM
I really don't know if this is funny as much as just a wtf moment, but when I was in HS, I was at a park drinking with a group of about 8 around 2 am, town size about 50k. No one on the roads at all, 25mph speed limit.

A motorcycle goes flying through a stop sign somehow at the exact moment a 70's Ford truck was pulling through and the motorcycle collided into the side of the Ford truck at about 40mph.

The guy in the truck gets out and starts walking over freaking out asking if the guy is ok. So the dude from the motorcycle (he was wearing a helmet, jacket, etc.) slowly gets up and limps/books it as quick as he can through the park and over a fence into a residential area.

The guy from the truck stood their dumbfounded for a minute then got in his truck and left. I and everyone I was with all hopped in our cars and left too because we were underage and didn't want to be there in case police showed up.

All I know is the guy on the motorcycle ran, the guy in the Ford truck left, and everyone I was with left, so there was a motorcycle laying in the middle of an intersection.

To this day I wonder if the guy stole the bike or if he was just really smashed and left his bike there to avoid a DUI. No way he avoided injuries though. Anyways, it's definitely something I'll never forget.
jjeans
6/27/11 12:55:00PM
Getting lost in Amsterdams red light district, walking around the same set of windows 4 times in the space of 30 minutes and paying a hooker at a window for directions
Pookie
7/2/11 4:16:49AM
Ok

The setting is a party. Beer Pong, maybe about 30 people, and drunkness everywhere. Im sitting in one side of the room and i start talking about this one japanese guy i know, who's last name is Kikuchi. And as im talking, "Ashley" over hears me and she yells "KIKUCHI!?" and dashes across the room to drunken girl #2 "Aria" and yells "KOOCHIE KICK!" and lays the fattest vagina blasting front kick directly into her cooter. Aria falls over and everyone in my circle busts into laughter. It was great.