Female Kryptonite: The toilet seat

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warglory
8/25/12 8:21:34AM
Alright, any male, at least those in the US, has encountered a female family member, significant other, friend, roommate, etc, that goes batshit crazy over the idea of a male leaving up the toilet seat. I have always thought this was such a ridiculous thing to get worked up over, and at work yesterday, I overheard a conversation that took it to a whole new level.

A couple of my supervisors, all female, were having a pow wow near my desk, when I overheard one of them stating that she would like to make an announcement to the males in the office, that they need to start putting down the toilet seats in the private bathrooms we have in the office, and to stop peeing on the toilet. She seemed quite irritated by this.

I had to use everything in my power to keep from standing up and confronting her about this ludicrous behavior, and here's why.

1, Women seem to ALWAYS link peeing on the toilet/toilet seat with our ability to put the seat up or down. What does peeing on the toilet seat have to do with the price of tea in China?! Males who piss on toilets are either a) kids, or b) adults who need to take responsibility for where they aim, and clean up after they miss. This has NOTHING to do with putting the toilet seat up or down. If your kid is pissing with the toilet seat down, yeah, let them know that it's easier to do it with the seat up, but keep in mind...IT'S A KID.

2. Toilet seats weigh what, less than a pound, maybe a little more? A toddler can pick up and drop a seat without any effort. So why is it the male's responsibility to put the toilet seat back down for your convenience, when you have the capability of doing it yourself? It takes the same amount of effort to put it back down as it does to put it up. I understand that when you wonder into the bathroom right when you wake up, that you just want to take a seat and do your business, but you know what? Guys wouldn't mind wondering in and starting to piss before we even get to the bowl, but no, we have to pick up the toilet seat and go through our routine as well.. This is the nature of the beast.

3. WHY DO YOU FREAK OUT ABOUT IT?! I have seen women literally yell at their sons for keeping the toilet seat up. Of all the things to get pissed off at your kids about, it's your laziness as a person that gets you in a tizzy? I feel like this is what turns some kids into whipped playthings for women when they get to be an adult! Calm down, put the toilet seat down, do your business, and move on....it'll be okay, I promise.



Alright, now that I got that out of my system, I have to say that I had the pleasure of growing up with my sister and mother. My sister and I fought like rabid dogs, but she was always chill with stuff like this, and my mother was too. The whole female exceptionalism mentality was never a problem in my household, and I attribute that to my current attitude. I have also lived with other women who never had a problem with this. I always thought this would be an interesting psychological experiment, to figure out why so many women treat this as their kryptonite, while others don't even give it a second thought.

Husbands/brothers/fathers/sons, weigh in! And the few ladies on the board, I'd like to read your input as well!

kopower
8/25/12 8:57:03AM
First off, I always just lift the lid covering the toilet seat and do my business. If there is any splash back or drips, I wipe it up. I never understand why some guys don't feel like wiping the seat off? I think these people should lose their privilige of standing while urinating, and have a seat, like the ladies. Anyway, I always have put the cover back down. Don't know why, maybe it was how I was raised. Funny though, my wife always leaves the toilet cover open. Not sure why this is, but at first I found it annoying, even though it made my job of peeing easier.
aussiemma
8/25/12 9:42:16AM
my sister told me the other day that her boyfriend always sits down to pee....i have this information against him for life.
kopower
8/25/12 9:49:59AM

Posted by aussiemma

my sister told me the other day that her boyfriend always sits down to pee....i have this information against him for life.



Very useful info when and if the time comes
shaneTpain
8/25/12 11:19:31AM
Haha awesome topic. I've been living with my gf for a year now. When we first moved in together she did mention how I leave the toilet seat up a few times. SO I told her I was sorry & the toilet seat would forever remain down. The next day she comes running into
the bedroom asking why the toilet seat is covered in piss. I told her I was used to having 100% of the bowl at my disposal & the new smaller target is going to take some getting used to. Needless to say the toilet is not a topic we discuss anymore
Svartorm
8/25/12 11:23:48AM
My wife doesn't care at all, and thinks its stupid when women get upset about it. I personally always lift the seat and replace it, but thats because I'm used to doing it in my restaurant and just do it at home now too. If you piss on the seat and don't clean it up, you're a fuckhead, but that doesn't same the rest of the universe for your faulty aim and/or etiquette.
tcunningham
8/25/12 11:54:01AM
i use my shoe to raise the seat in public restrooms that are both sexes. i dont know what the hells been going on on the seat. if i can use my foot to raise it, woman can use their foot to put it down. as for bathrooms in the house, i have been lucky to have not dealt with that many female "seat nazi's". growing up my mother and sister never bitched, leaving the cap off the tooth paste seemed like a bigger issue.
hymiekooken
8/25/12 12:04:10PM
My girlfriend said something to me once about the toilet seat, so now I just pee in the sink.
warglory
8/25/12 12:07:43PM

Posted by shaneTpain

Haha awesome topic. I've been living with my gf for a year now. When we first moved in together she did mention how I leave the toilet seat up a few times. SO I told her I was sorry & the toilet seat would forever remain down. The next day she comes running into
the bedroom asking why the toilet seat is covered in piss. I told her I was used to having 100% of the bowl at my disposal & the new smaller target is going to take some getting used to. Needless to say the toilet is not a topic we discuss anymore



DancingDoll
8/25/12 12:44:29PM
When I was a little kid, we had guests in the house staying over one time, and the guy left the toilet seat up. Not being used to needing to check first, when I went to the bathroom in the morning, I just sat down - and fell into the toilet and couldn't get back out (hey, I was a little kid). I had to call for help and wake up the whole house. Embarrassing.

I'm not a toilet-seat nazi, but I do prefer it down. I don't freak out on guys if they don't do that though. It's not that big of a deal.

Pee on the seat really pisses me off though, and women do it too in public restrooms with their squatting-errors. If you ever went into a public women's-bathroom you'd be seriously disgusted. Sometimes it's even on the floor. Not fun when you're wearing flip-flops in the summer at those highway rest-stops or nice strappy sandals in a nightclub. :(

These chicks need to either learn to toilet-paper the seat or learn to squat properly and clean up the drips. Oh, and if toilet-papering the seat, clean the soiled paper off the seat before you exit the stall (another disgusting thing I often see).

I'd take a toilet seat left up over a puddle of piss anytime.
Cooler
8/25/12 2:12:11PM
My girlfriend now doesn't care about it as long as I clean the seat
prophecy033
8/25/12 2:18:20PM
AWESOME thread bro

I've seen both sides. My sisters and mom don't care, neither have any of my girlfriends. The people that do are my boys girls.

I was at a party at one of my buddies places. We were all getting pretty fucked up and having a good time. Well I went to take a piss and beings I was feeling good I forgot to put the seat down (it was already up). I went back out and proceeded to have fun. About 5 minutes later my buddies girl comes out of the bathroom looming like Satan himself, eyes glowing and the horns type shit. She puts her hand on her hip and stares me down like she wanted to hurt me. I swear I hear a record scratch. "Have you never learned"?. I'm like "huh, learned what"? "to put the toilet seat down for women". "yeah, I know the routing but...." She cuts me off, "i don't think you have". I'm thinking to myself this girl is really doing this right now. "come with me, you're gonna put the seat down" as she's saying this indeed people wispering in their ears and the proceed to head for the door. "um....sure ill go put it down for you".....if you'll shut the fuck up.

So basically it was so Damn important that she clearest out the party to embarrass me. Funny thing is I wasn't the one who put it up but I took the heat.
jae_1833
8/25/12 2:23:33PM
The lady above is cool, and honest.....I was raised in a family with two moms and three sisters and the ones who made the attempt to be dumb with this issue were the ones who were oblivious enough to fall in more than once. It became simple in my home, I raised the toilet out of courtesy and they checked out of common sense. Putting it down I never was willing to focus on.
Adrenaline
8/25/12 3:16:29PM

Posted by DancingDoll



I'd take a toilet seat left up over a puddle of piss anytime.




So I take it your not into golden showers then??


Shawn91111
8/25/12 3:17:15PM
My wife always gives me shit about putting the seat down. I always counter with why cant you put the seat up for me? She shuts up right after that.
DancingDoll
8/25/12 3:35:32PM

Posted by Adrenaline


Posted by DancingDoll



I'd take a toilet seat left up over a puddle of piss anytime.




So I take it your not into golden showers then??





I wouldn't say I'm "into" them per se, but my 'I'll try anything once' attitude may have applied here once or twice. Cough. Maybe. Hmm... I probably should have just left this post as a simple 'no comment'...

I'm not squeamish about it, it's more about whose puddle of piss we're talking about and whether I am wearing expensive shoes at the time.

And no, I don't take it Machida-style...
infestructure
8/25/12 4:29:36PM
Some good answers in this thread. I try to put the seat down when I remember, as I was raised to be chivalrous, yet if some bitch tried to make me put it down (as in your post Prophecy) I would have given her an earful.
I'm all for treating people how they deserve to be treated.
scoozna
8/25/12 6:37:08PM
I always put the seat/lid down when I'm done, it just seems like the right thing to do. My kids do too, and it didn't take any yelling to get them in that habit.

My wife has said, though, that the women's bathrooms (public or private) are thoroughly disgusting. I'm assuming she means that they are more disgusting than what I see in men's bathrooms - which isn't particularly bad.
prozacnation1978
8/26/12 1:53:01AM
I live alone so I don't have that problem
But if I have a lady over I make damm sure that seat is shut and toilet paper is on the roll
With glade freshner handy and a extra roll of tp on hand
Bubbles
8/26/12 2:17:50PM

Posted by DancingDoll
And no, I don't take it Machida-style...


just R. Kelly style?