My personal favorites:
13. On the difficulty of finding an MMA fight in France: "I didn't know France was ever in a fight. ... I heard Italy just declared war on Spain, and France surrendered."
3. On his background as a wrestler: "Look at me: I'm a wrestler. My balls are so big, I wear the excess on my hat."
2. On cauliflower ear: "This guy's tough. His ears are like potatoes. Looks like he got stuck in the birth canal, had to beat him out with a stick."