The craigs list thread

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mrsmiley
6/15/12 9:33:36PM
Found something on CL so funny or strange you want the whole PG to see it?
I have found quiet a few...Case in point.


Gutard


I am looking for a serious group of musicians within close proximity to Miamisburg. I have all pro gear, and am looking to play predominantly in a Rock/Blues style of music. I can play many different genres that include the aforementioned as well as Jazz, Funk, Folk, Classical, Hard Rock, Heavy Metal. Pretty much anything. I write my own riffs and don't particularly enjoy playing covers but would be open to a few if necessary. I also would rather not play with a second guitarist as they tend to get in my way. My style is a amalgam of Rhythm and lead, so it wouldn't make sense for another guitarist I don't think. Though, I am willing to get together and see what happens. I personally have enough of my own riffs and unfinished music to make an entire career out of, assuming all of it were to become finished songs. If there are any bands out there looking for interesting, catchy riffs? Then hit me up.

At least he's honest....Beware of the lone gutard! The rhythm just gets in his way. Their's certainly a lot worse out their but as a musician myself stuff like that turns me away pretty fast.

I wish the post was still up about the purple monkey recording studio. It started a huge flame warm on the CL musician classifieds. It was highly entertaining.


Here's another

http://dayton.craigslist.org/grp/3052201726.html

With the recent outbreak of zombie attacks in FL, and all over the USA I think it's time that we start to band together and prepare for the upcoming Zombie apocalypse! We need to be ready! I want to start a group, where we meet, plan, prepare, and take steps to learn! We will need someone who lives on a farm so we can have target practice. Someone who can sew, cook, someone to clip coupons buy food and start to stalk up on goods, and water and basic needs (flashlights, batteries, etc). We can talk more about this when we get a good group size..but lets take this mother fucking zombies out!

Another music related one I found on talkbass.net

http://www.craigslist.org

/about/best/bhm/1119217946.html
This is a special thanks to all of the guys that put on a free concert at guitar center everyday, we appreciate everything you do for our community. Like when I go in to actually purchase something, you come sit right next to me and play your "top shelf" ibanez through any solid state monster in the store, and show me how fast you can tap. Or like when I am asking someone a question and you stepped up to the plate and instead tell us all how incredible your band is. Another reason I am so impressed by you guys, is how you find time to come to guitar center every day when you're always out on the road touring. It's already pretty hard to sift through the wealth of knowledge available behind the counter, but when you add your countless years of experience in to the equation, there is no end. Another way that you guys have changed my life is through my use of equipment. Over the years I've always thought that boutique pedals and custom tube configurations really contributed to my overall tone, yet you proved me wrong. Just from watching you play both measures you know from Free Bird, I learned that all I really need is a digitech floor board or a line 6 product to get the job done. Just hearing you guys really shred on your speed metal makes me wonder why people still listen to bands like The Beatles, Coldplay or U2. Thanks again for all you've done for me personally, you've really taught me that everything I thought I knew must be wrong, I am forever in debt to you. Because of this, I am now looking for a new drummer. Currently my drummer plays with a metronome and is way to solid and tasteful, consider him gone! If you are one of those guys in the drum dept. that knows that fast double bass is so much more important than keeping time, you're the one for me. So what if you don't own a drum set and therefore never practice, who needs practice when you're a prodigy? Who care's if you came in 7th place at last years drum off, the judges were conspiring against you. Last but not least, I am also holding auditions for a bass player. Currently my bass player plays through this stupid little ampeg 8x10 cab & head with a few vintage fender basses, and all he knows how to do is stay with the kick drum. Who cares that he's never made a mistake, or that he could write a book on music theory, what matters is that he can't slap. If there's one thing that can make any passionately slow song sound even better, that would be slap bass. So what if these pocket bass players like Adam Clayton are living in mansions and you're working at the mall, you know that slap bass is what's gonna bring in the big bucks. don't worry, you'll get your chance, the world won't know what hit'em. thanks again!
grappler0000
6/15/12 9:48:34PM
I've read several great ones over the years, but this is one of my favorites from several years ago. It was taken down long ago, so I don't have a link. I do have her pictures archives somewhere though, but will have to look for them:







third time is the charm? swf, 26, looking for single male 23-30 - 26
Reply to: pers-207561759@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-09-15, 12:42AM PDT


hey guys

my name's janie and i've been in sd for about 3 months now and am looking to meet some cool guys. i'm 26, single, no kids, don't smoke, like to drink, and i like to have fun. i dig most music, love old school rap. anyone remember 2 live crew? put it in the buck! ha! sorry, i just found the cd the other day... i have a crappy job (asst mgr at Burger King) but it pays the bills.

i'm looking for a cool guy to hang with who lives in the area and is single and is between 23-31. you should have a job and a car and no baby mama drama. no losers please!

now, the third times the charm part. you need to know this about me. i've tried online dating two other times. it did not work out well. i am being treated (have been for years) for acute IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome). Yes, i know -- gross. The reason i am telling you this now is that it is a big issue in my life and does affect me on a daily basis. I need to be by a bathroom most of the time and I have to go often on bad days. And yes, this girl farts. (yeah, im the only one).

now im not telling you this to scare you or gross you out, but it's something i want to be up front about because it does play a big role in my life. no i won't talk about it often, but id rather get it out of the way now than have disaster dates (which i've had twice) again.

so yeah, it's a lousy thing, but i deal. i am NOT a pity case. don't think that because i'm telling you this I'm some slut who will fall into bed with anyone because i'm desperate. i'm not. i just have been in a funk and need to meet some new people. in fact, im pretty select so you better be hot! ha :) and like destiny's child says i like a man who carries big things if you know what i mean :)

anyway drop me a line with a pic and tell me about u

Janie

P.S. I've got some replies and yes, I'm not lying (jerks) and no I don't need advice or help, i have 2 very capable doctors, thank u very much

ps again: to the jerk that called me shitty mcCrapsalot - very funny NOT. and no i am not into any "bathroom sex" you sickos. just straigt up, jeez. and to randy, here is my beach pic, yes i was burnt that day

* this is in or around san diego
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Budgellism
6/16/12 2:40:22AM

Posted by grappler0000

I've read several great ones over the years, but this is one of my favorites from several years ago. It was taken down long ago, so I don't have a link. I do have her pictures archives somewhere though, but will have to look for them:







third time is the charm? swf, 26, looking for single male 23-30 - 26
Reply to: pers-207561759@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-09-15, 12:42AM PDT


hey guys

my name's janie and i've been in sd for about 3 months now and am looking to meet some cool guys. i'm 26, single, no kids, don't smoke, like to drink, and i like to have fun. i dig most music, love old school rap. anyone remember 2 live crew? put it in the buck! ha! sorry, i just found the cd the other day... i have a crappy job (asst mgr at Burger King) but it pays the bills.

i'm looking for a cool guy to hang with who lives in the area and is single and is between 23-31. you should have a job and a car and no baby mama drama. no losers please!

now, the third times the charm part. you need to know this about me. i've tried online dating two other times. it did not work out well. i am being treated (have been for years) for acute IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome). Yes, i know -- gross. The reason i am telling you this now is that it is a big issue in my life and does affect me on a daily basis. I need to be by a bathroom most of the time and I have to go often on bad days. And yes, this girl farts. (yeah, im the only one).

now im not telling you this to scare you or gross you out, but it's something i want to be up front about because it does play a big role in my life. no i won't talk about it often, but id rather get it out of the way now than have disaster dates (which i've had twice) again.

so yeah, it's a lousy thing, but i deal. i am NOT a pity case. don't think that because i'm telling you this I'm some slut who will fall into bed with anyone because i'm desperate. i'm not. i just have been in a funk and need to meet some new people. in fact, im pretty select so you better be hot! ha :) and like destiny's child says i like a man who carries big things if you know what i mean :)

anyway drop me a line with a pic and tell me about u

Janie

P.S. I've got some replies and yes, I'm not lying (jerks) and no I don't need advice or help, i have 2 very capable doctors, thank u very much

ps again: to the jerk that called me shitty mcCrapsalot - very funny NOT. and no i am not into any "bathroom sex" you sickos. just straigt up, jeez. and to randy, here is my beach pic, yes i was burnt that day

* this is in or around san diego
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests





Shitty McCrapsalot was the cherry on top of that post. Too funny.
pmoney
6/16/12 2:50:27AM
Those are pure gold! As a bass player, I love the guitar center post a lot. Although, as a metal fan I do take exception to some of his comments. There is a lot of crap metal that is just power slop. But there are a lot of legitimately amazing musicians in metal too. Old Metallica is closer in structure to classical music than anything released in the last 40 years. I love Jazz, Blues, Rock, Reggae, Classical etc. though, and I love jamming to all different styles.

And I laughed at Shitty McCrapsalot . That's harsh, but hilarious. You gotta expect that if you are putting that info out on the net.

prozacnation1978
6/17/12 8:34:11AM
I have met a lot of women off Craigslist in san Diego
Never ran into ms. Shittypants though thank god
mrsmiley
6/17/12 10:19:09PM
Band looking for tranny


Wow.

!Band looking for Transvetite Drummer!

Are you it? Do you like "REAL" Punk-Rock? You know like: The Cramps, The Germs, Flipper, Andy Warhol, The Stooges, Screamin' Jay Hawkins, etc. ? Let us know?
KungFuMaster
6/20/12 10:29:56PM

Posted by pmoney

Those are pure gold! As a bass player, I love the guitar center post a lot. Although, as a metal fan I do take exception to some of his comments. There is a lot of crap metal that is just power slop. But there are a lot of legitimately amazing musicians in metal too. Old Metallica is closer in structure to classical music than anything released in the last 40 years. I love Jazz, Blues, Rock, Reggae, Classical etc. though, and I love jamming to all different styles.

And I laughed at Shitty McCrapsalot . That's harsh, but hilarious. You gotta expect that if you are putting that info out on the net.




I should have clicked on this thread earlier. I too - love the guitar center post. Before Guitar Center came to our town, the largest music and guitar shop was Charlie Daniels. I remember the workers put up a sign saying "No Sweet Child of Mine" in the public practice room.

I was one of those guys who have played the Sweet Child of Mine intro in that practice room.

For the most part, I agree with the Guitar Center post. Most of these numbnuts come in and start shredding with bad techniques, melodic thoughts are everywhere, there's no key signature, rhythm is off etc. No offense if you're guilty of this, Pmoney. I was guilty as well during my first few years of playing the guitar.

Years ago, I go in there to play expensive classical guitars that I will never buy. I pretty much have given up on THAT dream which has now become a fading hobby. I can't even remember the last time I touched my guitar.

Don't be like me, Pmoney. Keep playing. I know I need to pick it up again because I would like to play it during my daughters' wedding and perhaps during my wife's funeral.

Hey - maybe we can play a song together? I play my guitar parts, put it on youtube, then you can add the bass etc. Playing for Change baby!
Ordep
6/22/12 5:57:25PM
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