Chuck Norris Quotes of The Day » Off Topic » Off Topic » Chuck Norris Quotes of The Day
7/29/12 11:39:24PM
I haven't done this in a long time but let's see what new ones are out there.
1st. God created the world in six days but asked Chuck Norris for the last day off.
2. Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land.
3. Us humans have shark week, but sharks have Chuck Norris week.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, the earth just moves beneath him.
7/30/12 12:19:26AM
Lets see, some of these might be older, but here we go
1-- When Chuck Norris goes to Rome, they do as he does.
2-- When the boogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
3-- Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about
4-- The grand canyon was formed when Chuck Norris went skydiving and his chute failed to open
5--However, when Chuck Norris goes to bed at night, he checks his closet For Vitor Belfort !!!!!!
7/30/12 1:41:23AM
Chuck Norris' dick is SO big, it has it's own dick that is bigger than yours.
7/30/12 1:58:56AM

Posted by Poor_Franklin

Chuck Norris' dick is SO big, it has it's own dick that is bigger than yours.

7/30/12 2:12:03AM
7/30/12 2:24:20AM
"Nazi Germany surrender to the United States on May 7th, 1945. Chuck Norris was born on May 6th, 1945. Coincidence, I think not."
7/30/12 2:28:03AM
The best blowjob Chuck Norris ever had was from an alien... this alien

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7/30/12 3:21:08AM
Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass. He just stands on the porch and dares it to grow.
7/30/12 4:44:01AM

Posted by BuffaloDave

7/30/12 4:51:25AM
Like a russian nesting doll, if you managed to crack open Chuck Norris inside all you would find is a smaller, angrier Chuck Norris.
7/30/12 10:30:45AM
Fuck gum Chuck Norris blows bubbles out of beef Jerky
7/30/12 10:43:47AM

Posted by sparky

Fuck gum Chuck Norris blows bubbles out of beef Jerky

good stuff
7/30/12 11:03:15AM
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

7/30/12 11:25:26AM
Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

Mcdonalds once denied Chuck Norris an egg mcmuffin because it was 10:35. He roundhouse kicked the building, turning it into a Wendys.

Chuck Norris knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiego

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire color spectrum. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

An episode or Walker, Texas Ranger once aired in France. The French then surrendered to Chuck Norris, just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris can get blood from a rock

Wilt Chamberlain slept with over 20,000 women. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.

7/30/12 11:31:42AM
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies, he potato sacks them
7/30/12 1:06:18PM
7/30/12 1:06:26PM
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

One time, Chuck Norris had sex in a semi-truck, some of his sperm accidentally slipped into the engine. What came of this is now known as Optimus Prime.
7/30/12 1:37:13PM
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's Potato Chip

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
7/30/12 3:12:09PM
I just googled Chuck Norris, you guys will never believe whaaaaaa..;'eo[ui3084uji0ftnjvfmfkvmvm,vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
7/30/12 3:14:55PM
Hey, this is Chuck Norris. Hymiekooken just tried to google me, so I brutally roundhouse kicked him, his face apparently coming to rest on the v key.

Let this be a lesson to you all. The only person allowed to google Chuck Norris is Chuch Norris.
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