Here is a good thread to beat to death more Chuck Norris Jokes. Ill add some of my favourites.
Hope noone finds these offensive
Its a proven fact that 97% of women lose their virginity to Chuck Norris. Its also proven that the other 3% are fat and ugly.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris got cold and turned up the sun.
Chuck Norris Sued Law and Order because it stole the names of his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris uses Rattle snakes for Condoms and Jacks off with Sandpaper.
Chuck Norris is half indian. No Blood Relation he jsut ate one.
Chuck Norris doesnt worship God. He is God.
Chuck Norris Can judge a book by its cover.
Jesus didnt walk on water. Chuck Norris allowed him too.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. Just another fist.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends".
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."