Chuck Norris?

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cmb19932
2/1/09 6:25:37PM
chuck doesnt go huntin he goes killin
Aether
2/1/09 8:11:08PM
hahaha... I'll explain it to you instead of making more chuck norris jokes, and I think it might be a bannable offense but I'll take the risk.

Some kid like 5 years ago made a viral internet site for a school project and he just chose chuck norris' name at random to attach to these random funny "facts". It started to get popular. This in addition to Conan O'brian running his walker, texas ranger clip bits cause the fad to basically explode.

and now:

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.
cmb19932
2/1/09 8:25:57PM
i love how biggz was looking for a chuck flamefest to start but he got the opposite


ps -biggz man post on this thread again i havent seen ya im worried chuck found ya
Mattchoo
2/2/09 3:53:04AM
Its funny because if you were to know Chuck Norris' true name, your mind would collapse upon itself. And hes not going to take this lightly biggz because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face and asks questions later. You better hope hes too busy having sex with a cigarette machine.


Chuck Norris doesn't break up with his girlfriends... He punches them in the vagina and they leave.




And incase your wondering, lightnight doesnt strike in the same place twice. Because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
madmarck
2/2/09 8:35:52AM

Posted by Biggz

ok, so i must be missing something here. it seems like everyone thinks that Chuck Norris is the coolest guy ever. everyone is always talking about him, and hugging his nuts, i just don't get it. Walker Texas Ranger SUCKED, every movie he has been in SUCKED! i would pay to see him get his ass kicked! am i the only one or am i missing something?




Have you seen his latest creation. The World Combat League....... Pretty ******* awesome.
cmb19932
2/2/09 8:59:35AM
except he cant fight in it
babalu46
2/2/09 1:42:22PM
Chuck Norris once had sex in a lorry, some of his sperm accidently found its way into the engine we now know this as Optimus Prime
Red-Dragon
2/2/09 2:46:23PM
Chuck is Lame. Bruce would kick his ASSSSSSSSSSSS!
madmarck
2/2/09 2:57:02PM

Posted by Red-Dragon

Chuck is Lame. Bruce would kick his ASSSSSSSSSSSS!



So i'm guess you don't realize that Bruce Lee's One inch punch is rip off of Chuck Norris' Full Contact Beard kick.
Red-Dragon
2/2/09 3:08:11PM

Posted by madmarck


Posted by Red-Dragon

Chuck is Lame. Bruce would kick his ASSSSSSSSSSSS!



So i'm guess you don't realize that Bruce Lee's One inch punch is rip off of Chuck Norris' Full Contact Beard kick.



No. I just think Chuck is an overated one dimensional fighter. Just like his namesake in the UFC
ThaAxeMurderer7
2/2/09 8:31:51PM
Chuck Norris played ass kickers in action movies and tv shows before challenging Lyoto Machida. Now he's only capable of making bad infomercials.
cmb19932
2/2/09 8:34:39PM
note weird coincedence me and chuck norris have the same birthday
Manfred
2/3/09 11:43:05AM
Chuck was going to fight Fedor, but everyone is sick of Chuck fighting cans.
madmarck
2/4/09 8:57:02AM
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now known as The Islands
higdon10
2/7/09 4:39:08PM
Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong once got in a who has more testicles contest. Norris won by 3.
kris_ericson
2/7/09 4:47:30PM

Posted by higdon10

Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong once got in a who has more testicles contest. Norris won by 3.




i was really laughing my ass off when i read that
MMAcca
2/7/09 4:51:17PM

Posted by higdon10

Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong once got in a who has more testicles contest. Norris won by 3.




beerman77
2/11/09 10:16:41PM
the new and improve chuck ..
cmb19932
2/12/09 8:43:35AM

Posted by beerman77

the new and improve chuck ..




u cannot improve chuck
The_Metal_Maniac
2/13/09 2:57:02PM
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
jakeiceman
2/14/09 8:17:02PM
Mattchoo
2/19/09 10:28:35AM
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
higdon10
2/22/09 10:22:16PM

Posted by Mattchoo

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.



Fail
Pookie
3/31/09 6:57:04AM
When Chuck Norris deletes files from his computer, he doesnt send them to the Recylcing bin. He sends them to hell.

Chuck Norris has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.

When Chuck was asked why he never goes to the bathroom, he replied, "What happens in Chuck Norris, stays in Chuck Norris."

Onions do not make Chuck Norris cry, Chuck norris makes onions **** themselves.

Chuck Norris' family wraps his holiday presents in lead, so he can't see what's in them.

The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Chuck Norris was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.

When Chuck Norris gets pulled over, he lets the cops go with a warning.

Chuck Norris' orgasm leaves an exit wound.

There are only 4 horseman of the apocalypse, because Chuck Norris prefers to walk.

Chuck Norris has beat the **** out of so many people over his brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.

bls1919
4/3/09 8:50:03PM
I have known about all the Chuck Norris jokes and had heard a lot of them.............................or so I thought. I had to stop a few times reading this thread, to let my self breath from laughing so hard. i am pretty stoned, but still funny as ****.
Pookie
4/19/09 6:34:55AM
Mattchoo
4/19/09 1:01:17PM
Chuck Norris vs Attack Helicopter

Nothing is capable of beating this man.

Norris vs Attack Helicopter
Master_of_Mantis_Rapture
4/21/09 2:49:54PM
Chuck Norris roundhoused a square in half and made the first triangle
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