1.Fifty Cent VS Vin Diesel: -
The crowd is hyped as the two biggest guys of the night are walking to the cage! Big John is back as he is the only one capable of restraining the winner from murdering the loser, Joe Rogan is so excited he looks like he's ready to explode! The crowd are getting louder an louder then the bell rings.... Vin Diesel get kicked in the nuts and his head stomped on until BIg John can pull Fifty away.
Result: Diesel win (DQ)
2.Hugh Jackman VS Jim Carey (supposedly Carey knows BJJ)
Jackman comes in dressed in full wolverine attire, a evil smirk on his face and a confidence that no one doubts. Carey looks a little sheepish as he makes his way to the octagon. The bell rings and the two circle each other, Jackman starts to work the jab effectively and soon after the first round Carey is a bloody mess. The bell rings on what can only be described as a 10-6 round.
The Dr is examining Carey and after a argument with the caches the match is allowed to continue.
The bell rings an right away Jackman is back in the center working off jab combos and following up with big rights. Carey seams to have no answer for everything Jackman has!
Carey is rocked a few times but somehow makes it to the end of the round.
Once again the Dr is right over to check him out but this time their is les fuss and the fight continues.
Jackman returns to the center of the ring and looks fresh he delivers a monstrous overhand right that floors Carey and he follows up for the kill. Jackman lands a stiff left on the way down but Carey slips through his guard an instinctively tries for a arm lock, Jackman panics and jumps up leaving his leg behind. Its all Carey needed for a heal hook. Fight ends Mir Vs Lesnar esq.
Result: Carey (Sub 3rd round)
3.Thomas Jane VS Will Smith
Jane and Smith both look in great shape as they make their way to the octagon. this looks like its shaping up to be a war! Everyone knows these two have a mutual hate and the war of words has been making this one of the most hyped fights in recent history!
Both Jane and Smith are eager to get started and theirs no touch of the gloves as the bell rings.
Smith Charges in swinging wildly and eats a stiff right which knocks him back a few paces, but Jane keeps his composure and works the distance.
Smith tries for a takedown but looks slow on the shoot in. Jane grabs a arm and uses a Judo throw to gain mount and drop bombs to the head of Smith.
Steve Mazzagatti looks ready to stop the fight when Jane lands a devastating elbow to the chin of Smith one of the best G&P finishes in the history of MMA
Result: - Jane (1st round KO)
4.Ryan Reynolds VS Criss Angel
Ryan Reynolds makes his way from the locker room and as the music starts the crowd erupt once again tonight! The heat from the 24,000 strong crowd seams to jump as they all chant in unison! A determined looking Reynolds walks right t the cage taking little notice of anything else on the way.
Angel entrance is a little different, the lights dim and death metal starts, theirs a flash of light by where the fighters entrance should be and then the lights return to normal, the music fades... Angel is suspended 20 ft above the octagon by hooks through his back. He is slowly lowered into the cage and the ref calls the fighters to the center of the cage to repeat the instructions and touch gloves.
The fighters nod to the instructions and Reynolds is left hanging for the glove touch as a smirking Angel swaggers back to his side of the cage.
The bell rings and Reynolds instantly looks the more aggressive of the two, throwing quick high low combos and leg kicks. Angel looks to be taking punishment but still has a smirk on his face.
Reynolds Backs up and throws a hard shin kick to the kidneys which for the first time in the fight cleans the smirk off Angels face. Reynolds quickly follows with heavy blows to the face and upper chest, again Angel had little defense and no offense. The ref steps in and warns Angel unless he mounts a offense the fight will be stopped.
The fight is resumed and again Reynolds lands several unanswered blows before Angel is dropped by a swift kick to the chest. Reynolds backs off and opts to keep the fight standing where he has had the most success, Angel gets to his feet and attempts to throw a weak and off balance punch.
Reynolds sidesteps and ends with a HUGE overhand right Arlovski would be proud of! Angel folds instantly to the floor and Reynolds holds his hands up in victory.
Result: Reynolds (1st rounds KO)
Edit: - Rogan rushes to the cage and is talking to the victor about the strangest fight of the night. After a few minutes of back and forth banter Reynolds thanks his coaches and leaves looking bewildered yet happy.
Rogan approaches Angel and asks him for his reasons for not fighting, Angel immediately blurts out he'd like to thank his coaches Kalib Starnes and the french military fighting system. Rogan pushes him for a answer before Angel breaks down and runs out the octagon.
Update: - Criss Angel finally realized magic is fake an he deserved the beating he got. He issued a public apology for both his magic and and the fact he got his ass kicked on international t.v
I'v been drinking lots of coke today