Would You Allow yo Significant Other to go for Coffee w/ a member of the opposite Sex

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Shawn91111
10/5/13 6:21:23PM

Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?



I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?
KungFuMaster
10/5/13 6:28:39PM

Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?



I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?



YOU can encourage your wife to hang out with male friends; I'm not going to encourage mine.
Shawn91111
10/5/13 6:35:16PM

Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?



I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?



YOU can encourage your wife to hang out with male friends; I'm not going to encourage mine.




I find it no different, just the same I hang out with my male friends and female.
infestructure
10/5/13 6:41:31PM
Oh playground. Good to see most of you would trust their partners drinking coffee. for the rest of you - the question is not "would you allow your significant other to fuck someone else" it's "go for a coffee". There is a difference.

I think it all depends on whether you think she will cheat with this person. If you think they might, then you have more problems than coffee.

My wife is bisexual, and I'm allowed to bring bi girls home, so I really have a warped view on this probably
jjeans
10/5/13 6:49:04PM

Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?



I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?



YOU can encourage your wife to hang out with male friends; I'm not going to encourage mine.




I find it no different, just the same I hang out with my male friends and female.



I don't have any female friends
KungFuMaster
10/5/13 6:50:29PM

Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?





I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?



YOU can encourage your wife to hang out with male friends; I'm not going to encourage mine.




I find it no different, just the same I hang out with my male friends and female.



I, on the other hand, hang out with my male friends and only correspond to my female friends at functions, emails, and facebook and sometimes on the phone. I don't feel I am depriving myself by not hanging out with female friends. I'm constantly around women.

People have different levels of comfort. Mine is a direct result of my heritage and customs and I think I've disclosed that already.
infestructure
10/5/13 7:37:03PM

Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?





I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?



YOU can encourage your wife to hang out with male friends; I'm not going to encourage mine.




I find it no different, just the same I hang out with my male friends and female.



I, on the other hand, hang out with my male friends and only correspond to my female friends at functions, emails, and facebook and sometimes on the phone. I don't feel I am depriving myself by not hanging out with female friends. I'm constantly around women.

People have different levels of comfort. Mine is a direct result of my heritage and customs and I think I've disclosed that already.



Why don't you hang out with female friends? You either don't trust yourself, or you don't trust your wife.

if you don't want her to hang out with male friends, it means that you are jealous or insecure. I can't think of any other reasoning.

Not starting on you, just trying to understand.
Shawn91111
10/5/13 7:42:01PM

Posted by infestructure


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?





I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?



YOU can encourage your wife to hang out with male friends; I'm not going to encourage mine.




I find it no different, just the same I hang out with my male friends and female.



I, on the other hand, hang out with my male friends and only correspond to my female friends at functions, emails, and facebook and sometimes on the phone. I don't feel I am depriving myself by not hanging out with female friends. I'm constantly around women.

People have different levels of comfort. Mine is a direct result of my heritage and customs and I think I've disclosed that already.



Why don't you hang out with female friends? You either don't trust yourself, or you don't trust your wife.

if you don't want her to hang out with male friends, it means that you are jealous or insecure. I can't think of any other reasoning.

Not starting on you, just trying to understand.




Bingo
KungFuMaster
10/5/13 8:36:33PM

Posted by infestructure


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?





I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?



YOU can encourage your wife to hang out with male friends; I'm not going to encourage mine.




I find it no different, just the same I hang out with my male friends and female.



I, on the other hand, hang out with my male friends and only correspond to my female friends at functions, emails, and facebook and sometimes on the phone. I don't feel I am depriving myself by not hanging out with female friends. I'm constantly around women.

People have different levels of comfort. Mine is a direct result of my heritage and customs and I think I've disclosed that already.



Why don't you hang out with female friends? You either don't trust yourself, or you don't trust your wife.

if you don't want her to hang out with male friends, it means that you are jealous or insecure. I can't think of any other reasoning.

Not starting on you, just trying to understand.



I've already answered that.. I will never tell my wife she can't hang out with her male friends and my stance on the issue stems from my heritage and culture. I would say most Asians who grow up within a large community of Asians are brought up this way. There are lots of traditions behind my stance. For instance, I am not allowed to enter my brother and his wife's room. I am not allowed to enter my brother in law and his wife's room. These are traditions that have been practiced for hundreds and maybe even thousands of years. It is put in place to preserve the sanctity of marriage. It is put in place to help prevent affairs and so forth. These traditions find their way to manifest in other aspects of life such as in the topic we are discussing. And if you don't buy that, I'm ok with you calling me insecure.


kopower
10/5/13 9:00:36PM

I've already answered that.. I will never tell my wife she can't hang out with her male friends and my stance on the issue stems from my heritage and culture. I would say most Asians who grow up within a large community of Asians are brought up this way. There are lots of traditions behind my stance. For instance, I am not allowed to enter my brother and his wife's room. I am not allowed to enter my brother in law and his wife's room. These are traditions that have been practiced for hundreds and maybe even thousands of years. It is put in place to preserve the sanctity of marriage. It is put in place to help prevent affairs and so forth. These traditions find their way to manifest in other aspects of life such as in the topic we are discussing. And if you don't buy that, I'm ok with you calling me insecure.


I hear where you're coming from.
Adrenaline
10/6/13 12:44:56AM

Posted by infestructure



My wife is bisexual, and I'm allowed to bring bi girls home




A bisexual, redheaded gymnast?

Your a real motherfucker infestructure.





infestructure
10/6/13 1:39:00AM

Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by infestructure


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.




Do you like it if she goes out with her female friends?





I actually encourage my wife to go out with her female friends. We both need a break from each other every now and then. Just so we are clear, I have never told my wife she can't hang out with her male friends. I know my wife well enough to know that she knows I won't like it but here's the thing you don't know about me - I'll never tell her he can't. I'm not a controlling freak. The only thing I'm aware of that makes me a freak is I'm an overly protective father.



So you encourage her to go out with her female friends, then why not her male friends. If they are just as close, and provide just as much as she gets from her female friends?



YOU can encourage your wife to hang out with male friends; I'm not going to encourage mine.




I find it no different, just the same I hang out with my male friends and female.



I, on the other hand, hang out with my male friends and only correspond to my female friends at functions, emails, and facebook and sometimes on the phone. I don't feel I am depriving myself by not hanging out with female friends. I'm constantly around women.

People have different levels of comfort. Mine is a direct result of my heritage and customs and I think I've disclosed that already.



Why don't you hang out with female friends? You either don't trust yourself, or you don't trust your wife.

if you don't want her to hang out with male friends, it means that you are jealous or insecure. I can't think of any other reasoning.

Not starting on you, just trying to understand.



I've already answered that.. I will never tell my wife she can't hang out with her male friends and my stance on the issue stems from my heritage and culture. I would say most Asians who grow up within a large community of Asians are brought up this way. There are lots of traditions behind my stance. For instance, I am not allowed to enter my brother and his wife's room. I am not allowed to enter my brother in law and his wife's room. These are traditions that have been practiced for hundreds and maybe even thousands of years. It is put in place to preserve the sanctity of marriage. It is put in place to help prevent affairs and so forth. These traditions find their way to manifest in other aspects of life such as in the topic we are discussing. And if you don't buy that, I'm ok with you calling me insecure.





So, you are traditionally insecure?

I have found trying to stop someone doing something they want to do generally puts a damper on things. If she wants coffee with a guy - she's an adult, she can have coffee with who ever she wants and shouldn't have her partner make her feel bad about it UNLESS there is something to feel bad about. Just because the person is a male of the opposite sex shouldn't change shit.
VILLIN
10/6/13 1:48:18AM
KFM, you are one odd little dude.
sbulldavid
10/6/13 6:15:52AM
Hell No...I get my coffee from the free coffee bar or the nearest convenience store...if you ain't got time for coffee with me you better not be drinking coffee with another dude...rollseyes:
Pookie
10/6/13 8:56:32AM
Ignoring all the posts in this thread,

Yes. Not allowing it would be worse in the long run for me. You put it in her head that you don't trust her to not cheat, and if she just one day hits her limit she knows thats both a great way to hurt you, but also somewhat justifiable since you treat her like she sleeps around anyway.

Granted, i hope i don't end up with a girl that I can drive that nuts. Certainly wouldn't aim for it, but you never know.

Also, it seems like it would make me look less attractive to her. Which might result in her sleeping with other people too.

I would be fine with it, as long as i didn't already hate/distrust the guy.
warglory
10/6/13 10:50:15AM
I have a very open view of relationships. I believe in being faithful to your partner if that is what is agreed between the two, but other than that, there are very few rules to how your partner should have to act. You are not indentured to your partner, you are an adult and can do whatever you please with certain exceptions that would hurt your partner. With that said, having coffee with a friend should not qualify as one of those certain exceptions.
warglory
10/6/13 10:56:26AM

Posted by KungFuMaster

lol at all the responses intended for me - I never said you shouldn't allow your significant other to have coffee with the opposite sex.

[ This is what I said: If you cherish your relationship or more importantly, marriage, you wouldn't like it when your significant other or more importantly, spouse, is having coffee with another dude you don't even know. Why on earth would you like it when your spouse is having coffee with another man? ] That is what I said but you're welcome to interpret it however you wish.



I think everyone understands what you are getting at, but not everyone shares your views on relationships, so to say that everyone who cherishes their relationship must share your views, can bee construed as being offensive and definitely a judgement on your part.
BigBadAl
10/7/13 7:11:28AM

Posted by infestructure

Oh playground. Good to see most of you would trust their partners drinking coffee. for the rest of you - the question is not "would you allow your significant other to fuck someone else" it's "go for a coffee". There is a difference.

I think it all depends on whether you think she will cheat with this person. If you think they might, then you have more problems than coffee.

My wife is bisexual, and I'm allowed to bring bi girls home, so I really have a warped view on this probably





She's a KEEPER!

Does she have to vet the girls first? Like, to make sure she fancies them too before you bring them home? Maybe a cheeky phone snap sent to wifey at home to get the green light?

Or do you just bring them home and if she's not keen you just go solo?
infestructure
10/11/13 8:54:48PM

Posted by BigBadAl


Posted by infestructure

Oh playground. Good to see most of you would trust their partners drinking coffee. for the rest of you - the question is not "would you allow your significant other to fuck someone else" it's "go for a coffee". There is a difference.

I think it all depends on whether you think she will cheat with this person. If you think they might, then you have more problems than coffee.

My wife is bisexual, and I'm allowed to bring bi girls home, so I really have a warped view on this probably





She's a KEEPER!

Does she have to vet the girls first? Like, to make sure she fancies them too before you bring them home? Maybe a cheeky phone snap sent to wifey at home to get the green light?

Or do you just bring them home and if she's not keen you just go solo?



If there's time, I'll do my best to keep my wife informed. The key is to make sure no one is in the dark. If you never lie, you never have to remember a lie.
JoeWarren33
10/12/13 11:48:37AM

The old me would of been jealous and not allow it. But I have changed my ways
as I got older, and now I would be fine with it. My GF has gone out with male friends for drinks and I got nothing to worry about because I know she loves me, and would not ruin that. If she did, it would be over. Simple as that.

If you can't trust your spouse or loved one, then you got to ask yourself this. Am I really in love? Is this truly going to work out in the long run? Cause it probably wont
airkerma
10/12/13 8:46:38PM
Guys, the key is this: don't put the coffee on a pedestal.
BigBadAl
10/15/13 10:44:13AM

Posted by infestructure


Posted by BigBadAl


Posted by infestructure

Oh playground. Good to see most of you would trust their partners drinking coffee. for the rest of you - the question is not "would you allow your significant other to fuck someone else" it's "go for a coffee". There is a difference.

I think it all depends on whether you think she will cheat with this person. If you think they might, then you have more problems than coffee.

My wife is bisexual, and I'm allowed to bring bi girls home, so I really have a warped view on this probably





She's a KEEPER!

Does she have to vet the girls first? Like, to make sure she fancies them too before you bring them home? Maybe a cheeky phone snap sent to wifey at home to get the green light?

Or do you just bring them home and if she's not keen you just go solo?



If there's time, I'll do my best to keep my wife informed. The key is to make sure no one is in the dark. If you never lie, you never have to remember a lie.



And you sir have no reason to lie anyway. Living the dream.
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