I've had a sh*tty day but, what the f*ck has happened to manners!?

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SmileR
11/9/12 6:44:49PM
I might be getting bitter in my old age or I might just be having a bad week but what the fuck has happened to manners!?!?

I've always thought manners reflect what kind of person you are, someone with no manners is usually someone I hate, someone who has manners I usually think is alright. I also think manners reflect how you're brought up so if a kid says please and thank you his parents get a from me.
I'm not talking table manners or the way you act with your friends I'm talking about simple things like thanking someone who holds a door.

I get that sometimes you're in a rush and don't have time to hold a door or run off without saying thank you to someone. A laps every now and then is fine, but recently its been grating against me how little respect or common courtesy people have for each other.

This week I've held the door for many people and I can honestly count on my fingers the amount that have said thank you. I've given up my seat on a busy train for an elderly man and had to ask people to move so he could get to the seat and been given the stink eye for doing it. This kind of stuff I'm used to and it usualy just washes over me without me giving it a second thought.

But today was the straw that broke the camels back.

I was on the late train home, the service only runs every 45 minutes and it was pretty quiet. I was sat listening to my music and noticed when the guy on the other seat stood up to leave. As he got to the doors I noticed that he'd left his phone, it was a brand new iphone 5 so I grabbed it and jogged after the guy. He was about halfway down the platform by the time I caught his attention and the train doors where closing. I told him he'd left his phone on the seat and handed it over.

I'd like to point out at this point I didn't expect him to drop to his knees and worship me like a golden god or even him to acknowledge I'd missed the train doors and was going to have to wait 45 minutes for another train. I just kind of expected a thanks or even a "I'm a moron for leaving it" kind of response.
However the guy just looked me up and down, snatched the phone looked at it turned it over a few times checking there was no damage. Then he gave me a look of disgust and turned to leave while mumbling "You best hadn't of dropped it."

This is when I kind of over reacted. I said without thinking "No need to thank me you asshole" and turned to walk away. The guy then turned back around and started having a go at me saying his phone was worth £600 and if it was damaged he'd "punch my teeth out".

I lost my temper and shoved the guy to the floor (I didn't punch him though) I flipped out and started shouting about how he could have just said thanks for returning his phone and he wouldn't look like such a bitch. But the guy just wouldn't shut up. He said he was going to sue me for assault and taking his phone!

This is the point I kind of went overboard, I started shouting "Sue me for what?! retuning your phone or you being an asshole?" He then tried to kick me in the legs and started trying to slap me so, and I'm kind of proud of this, I took the guys shoes and thew them over the track into a mashy field.
I didn't want to hit him back, he was about 5'4" and weighed about 140 I'm 6'1" and weigh about 180 but he was a short mess and I'm in quite good shape so there was no point beating up a chubby midget but I was so pissed off I wanted to either throw him under a train or choke him to death so I had to do something.

This guy was such an asshole he lost his shoes because he couldn't just say "Thanks for returning my phone".
But my point regardless of if you think I'm the asshole in this situation and I wouldn't blame you if you did, is what the fuck has happened to people!?
Why are they so bitter they can't say thank you or even smile!? Manners cost nothing and no one has them anymore!


Sorry for the rant and if you've read this far I've basically wasted a few minutes of your life. . . Sorry about that, but at least I was polite about it!
jakewalters
11/9/12 6:50:34PM
Amazing story, that prick deserved it. What a fucking twat. Rock on brother. justice was served.

Budgellism
11/9/12 6:51:25PM

"You best hadn't of dropped it."


That guy is a piece of shit.
grappler0000
11/9/12 7:03:42PM
What a douche.

edit: the other guy, that is
Shawn91111
11/9/12 7:14:21PM
You honestly could have handled it better. Sure the guy was an asshole but you started it by shoving him when you could have left it at calling him and asshole

I agreed with everything you said about manners though. My son is 4 and overly says please and thank you to everyone from his family to strangers and such, its something my wife and I wanted him to know the importance of. He writes his own thank you cards for gifts and such. His cousin on the other hand is 7 and has never said thank you or please and its how he was brought up. I know of 3 of his relatives who stopped giving him gifts because he doesnt appreciate anything.
Bubbles
11/9/12 7:18:59PM
it's the era of technology, no one knows how to talk to anyone anymore. If you gave him your twitter address he'd probably tweet you a thank you rather than uttering 2 syllables. Plus today's younger kids have no respect and have the world given to them...then walk around with an entitled attitude and expects the world to revolve around them. Parents are to blame for this as well as they are lazier than ever (generally speaking) and don't parent like they did even 15 years ago.

That guy is scum and I'm happy to hear you did something about it. I'd probably just have called him a rude, ungrateful asshole and leave it at that.
warglory
11/9/12 7:22:26PM
Karma will catch up with that dude, no doubt.
prozacnation1978
11/9/12 7:24:09PM
Smile

Your way more patient than me
I would have knocked the fucker out and pawned his phone
SmileR
11/9/12 7:24:10PM

Posted by Shawn91111

You honestly could have handled it better. Sure the guy was an asshole but you started it by shoving him when you could have left it at calling him and asshole

I agreed with everything you said about manners though. My son is 4 and overly says please and thank you to everyone from his family to strangers and such, its something my wife and I wanted him to know the importance of. He writes his own thank you cards for gifts and such. His cousin on the other hand is 7 and has never said thank you or please and its how he was brought up. I know of 3 of his relatives who stopped giving him gifts because he doesnt appreciate anything.



I'm kind of ashamed of the way I handled it looking back and if I could go back I would have reacted differently, but I'm just getting sick and tired of the attitude people have towards each other. All of this and I mean all of it could have been avoided with a simple thanks!

Its great to hear about your son though, its rare you hear kids say thank you now.
infestructure
11/9/12 7:26:17PM
Manners are dying for sure. I blame the parents. I would have thrown his phone too.
When I was a kid on a trip to the states I went to Sam's club in Florida and was tasting all the free samples, the ladies who gave them out were so impressed by my manners they sought out my parents and told them what a good boy I was.
I really got the feeling that none of the local kids acted like that, and thats why they were so impressed. Maybe it's a big city thing.
george112
11/9/12 7:34:33PM
Dude I'm damn glad you did what you did. That guy deserved every bit of it.
kopower
11/9/12 10:03:08PM
Common courtesy has gone out the window. I always say thank you, and am probably to overly nice. I've noticed I've become more rude to people, and speak out, if they're being stuck up or show attitude. You probably shouldn't have shoved the dude, but he f'n deserved it. Props to you for doing what I've wanted to do many times.
jae_1833
11/9/12 10:35:21PM

Posted by prozacnation1978

Smile

Your way more patient than me
I would have knocked the fucker out and pawned his phone

ghandikush
11/10/12 12:36:39AM
We all lose it sometimes just like we all act like that prick sometimes, no judgement. Honestly I have trouble being overly polite to family and friends, like directly polite. They typically do know I'm grateful though (or I hope). HOWEVER I am always trying to be courteous to servers and cool pedestrians who let me go first hold doors etc and try to hold doors etc.

Sorry about the generally socially insecure/ socially inept generation before you. I am one of them
prophecy033
11/10/12 1:03:22AM

Posted by prozacnation1978

Smile

Your way more patient than me
I would have knocked the fucker out and pawned his phone

ghandikush
11/10/12 1:15:03AM

Posted by prophecy033


Posted by prozacnation1978

Smile

Your way more patient than me
I would have knocked the fucker out and pawned his phone






"Unable to accept props, you have given out the maximum limit of props for 24 hours already."

^^^ First time I've ever seen this but you will get yours. Chuckles=
KungFuMaster
11/10/12 1:30:31AM
SmileR, you and me both. I have had similar encounters but they never get physical.

I go into Popeyes and I see a young black woman ( in her late 20s ) sitting outside by the entrance door. I already know what I'll be asked when I come out - it happens all the time at this place. So I go in, I order my chicken, got my chicken and now I'm coming out. As I start to pass this young black woman, she begs me for some change. I mumble "Sorry," and continue walking.

She hollers at me, "Hey, can't you spare something to help me out? Come on, I know you have some change."

My eyes roll in disbelief but I stopped and reached in my pocket to fumble through the change I had. I knew I had less than 15 cents in change and a dollar bill in my pocket. I couldn't feel the small coins - so I pulled out everything. I gave her the change and kept the dollar.

She had the nerve to say, "Are you serious? You have a dollar and you only gave me this?"

By this time - I'm furious but I knew it was pointless to continue the conversation and I just kept walking. I was angry with myself for how I handled the situation. Part of me wanted to front kick her where she sat. That would have made my 12 or 13 cents worth it.
UFC_Fanatic
11/10/12 3:26:08AM
i had a similarish situation somewhat recently. More disrespectful than anything, but my ex broke up with me a while back to get with her ex again, for like the 5th time. So what, shit happens, I was a little down and decided I was going to go visit my best friend to get my mind off it.

Well on the way to my buddy's house I pass her once again bf and as we drive by each other he flips me off. I was absolutely furious. He doesn't even know a single thing about me. Literally the only thing he knows is that I dated his girlfriend, and that's it.

I immediately turned my car around and followed him until he parked his car and got out and confronted him about being a disrespecful douche bag. I shouted at him called him an asshole and said someting along the lines of "how the fuck can you disrespect someone you don't even fucking know?!" He called me a prick and said that it's my fault for dating his girlfriend and all this other stupid shit.

I basically try to leave with a sturn warning telling him that if I ever see that shit happen again I'd beat his ass and that there is no excuse for his behavior. As I walk back to my car and as I go to open my car door I hear hurried footsteps behind me and I turn around just in time to see him raise his fist to try to sucker punch me. I managed to duck under and grab his legs and pick him up and throw him down and as he got back up I kicked him in the balls Bas Rutten style. I then got up and got in my car as he called me a p*ssy. I just drove away.

To this day he still shoots me dirty glares when he sees me, but he doesn't try anything, or he just hasn't had the opportunity.

As I've always said, if it were someone I know and we never got along and that happened, I'd be like, what a douche, but not have done anything about it, but the fact that it was someone who doesn't even know me I was furious.

I was raised to put respect for others above always, so I always say please and thank you and show others respect. I was just going to be like fair play to the guy for getting her back, but that ruined it. It irritates me that these people have no tact or no respect for others.
airkerma
11/10/12 10:05:52AM
Wrote a long response, internet ate it. Sorry about your day, but I think you did a good job avoiding making a serious mistake like many of us would have.
MALICE
11/10/12 11:52:17AM
Common courtesy, manners, and common decency are all becoming nonexistent. I am very fortunate to live in northern Minnesota. People around here are "old fashioned," so "please" and "thank you" are still common terms. But there are many rude, smug individuals around here as well. I am always polite, even if the other person doesn't deserve it. If I hold a door for someone and they don't say thank you, I say "you're welcome" in a very direct manner with a hint of sarcasm. It is my way of dealing with the lack of decency.
frizzzlecake
11/10/12 3:08:43PM
I didn't know Jon Jones was 5'4.
Shawn91111
11/10/12 3:43:01PM

Posted by KungFuMaster

SmileR, you and me both. I have had similar encounters but they never get physical.

I go into Popeyes and I see a young black woman ( in her late 20s ) sitting outside by the entrance door. I already know what I'll be asked when I come out - it happens all the time at this place. So I go in, I order my chicken, got my chicken and now I'm coming out. As I start to pass this young black woman, she begs me for some change. I mumble "Sorry," and continue walking.

She hollers at me, "Hey, can't you spare something to help me out? Come on, I know you have some change."

My eyes roll in disbelief but I stopped and reached in my pocket to fumble through the change I had. I knew I had less than 15 cents in change and a dollar bill in my pocket. I couldn't feel the small coins - so I pulled out everything. I gave her the change and kept the dollar.

She had the nerve to say, "Are you serious? You have a dollar and you only gave me this?"

By this time - I'm furious but I knew it was pointless to continue the conversation and I just kept walking. I was angry with myself for how I handled the situation. Part of me wanted to front kick her where she sat. That would have made my 12 or 13 cents worth it.




So the manners moral is she should have just held up a sign asking for change instead of voicing it?
prophecy033
11/10/12 3:57:53PM

Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

SmileR, you and me both. I have had similar encounters but they never get physical.

I go into Popeyes and I see a young black woman ( in her late 20s ) sitting outside by the entrance door. I already know what I'll be asked when I come out - it happens all the time at this place. So I go in, I order my chicken, got my chicken and now I'm coming out. As I start to pass this young black woman, she begs me for some change. I mumble "Sorry," and continue walking.

She hollers at me, "Hey, can't you spare something to help me out? Come on, I know you have some change."

My eyes roll in disbelief but I stopped and reached in my pocket to fumble through the change I had. I knew I had less than 15 cents in change and a dollar bill in my pocket. I couldn't feel the small coins - so I pulled out everything. I gave her the change and kept the dollar.

She had the nerve to say, "Are you serious? You have a dollar and you only gave me this?"

By this time - I'm furious but I knew it was pointless to continue the conversation and I just kept walking. I was angry with myself for how I handled the situation. Part of me wanted to front kick her where she sat. That would have made my 12 or 13 cents worth it.




So the manners moral is she should have just held up a sign asking for change instead of voicing it?

sounds like she more than voiced it. Sounds like she damn near demanded he give her some money. Thats a knife or gun short of robbing someone. I know it wasn't that extreme but coming from someone who has been robbed at knifepoint, once someone starts saying "give me, give me" I simply walk away because they have no respect. Beggars can't be choosers
Shawn91111
11/10/12 4:41:39PM

Posted by prophecy033


Posted by Shawn91111


Posted by KungFuMaster

SmileR, you and me both. I have had similar encounters but they never get physical.

I go into Popeyes and I see a young black woman ( in her late 20s ) sitting outside by the entrance door. I already know what I'll be asked when I come out - it happens all the time at this place. So I go in, I order my chicken, got my chicken and now I'm coming out. As I start to pass this young black woman, she begs me for some change. I mumble "Sorry," and continue walking.

She hollers at me, "Hey, can't you spare something to help me out? Come on, I know you have some change."

My eyes roll in disbelief but I stopped and reached in my pocket to fumble through the change I had. I knew I had less than 15 cents in change and a dollar bill in my pocket. I couldn't feel the small coins - so I pulled out everything. I gave her the change and kept the dollar.

She had the nerve to say, "Are you serious? You have a dollar and you only gave me this?"

By this time - I'm furious but I knew it was pointless to continue the conversation and I just kept walking. I was angry with myself for how I handled the situation. Part of me wanted to front kick her where she sat. That would have made my 12 or 13 cents worth it.




So the manners moral is she should have just held up a sign asking for change instead of voicing it?

sounds like she more than voiced it. Sounds like she damn near demanded he give her some money. Thats a knife or gun short of robbing someone. I know it wasn't that extreme but coming from someone who has been robbed at knifepoint, once someone starts saying "give me, give me" I simply walk away because they have no respect. Beggars can't be choosers



Well he did say she was sitting, never said she stood and got in his face (not saying you said as much), but obviously we arent there to judge how loud she was yelling, but it really didnt seem that extreme. And not its not because its KFM's story
infestructure
11/11/12 2:24:55AM
I think the moral here is don't give money to random people who ask for it
kopower
11/13/12 11:50:26AM
Had to post in this thread after what I just witnessed. I live in a town home, with a large grassed area in front of our complex. I happened to be looking outside my bedroom window on the second floor, and saw a lady, walking her dog, stop to let the dog crap. This is no big deal, as it's a fairly high traffic area, with many joggers, walkers, etc. Well, the dog does its' business, and the lady walks over to where the dog crapped, looks around to see if anybody was watching, and proceeds to walk away like nothing happened. WTF is wrong with people nowadays? If I didn't have my son with me, I would have ran outside with a bag for her, and told her to scoop it up. My son loves to play in that area, and I'll be damned if he picks up a piece of crap and proceeds to eat it. I mean, c'mon man. Why don't you have a bag with you?

jakewalters
11/13/12 12:17:11PM
Haha great stories in this thread. I spent a majority of yesterday walking around Chicago and was asked by at least five different people for money. I had a $10 bill and my credit card on me, that was it. Told each one simply "Don't have any cash on me, sorry brother," and continued my day. Simple as that.

Kind of funny, one of them came up to me and went to shake my hand. The first thing he said was "Don't worry, I ain't tryin to rob you," which made me think "Holy shit, is this guy trying to rob me?"

Moral of the story: If you want anything from someone, don't walk up to them and say you aren't going to harm them. It's like me approaching a girl at a bar and introducing myself by saying "Don't worry, I ain't tryin to rape you."
ChrisSabal
11/13/12 1:10:23PM

Posted by jakewalters

Haha great stories in this thread. I spent a majority of yesterday walking around Chicago and was asked by at least five different people for money. I had a $10 bill and my credit card on me, that was it. Told each one simply "Don't have any cash on me, sorry brother," and continued my day. Simple as that.

Kind of funny, one of them came up to me and went to shake my hand. The first thing he said was "Don't worry, I ain't tryin to rob you," which made me think "Holy shit, is this guy trying to rob me?"

Moral of the story: If you want anything from someone, don't walk up to them and say you aren't going to harm them. It's like me approaching a girl at a bar and introducing myself by saying "Don't worry, I ain't tryin to rape you."



welcome to Chicago!! Going to a Cubs game you are practically raped by the 40 year olds trying to raise money for their high school football team or the guy crying because he just became homeless even though you can tell hes been homeless for a while. I just walk by and keep my hands in my pockets and smile.

The ones I will give money to are the ones that have the balls to admit what they want the money for.
jakewalters
11/13/12 1:14:58PM

Posted by ChrisSabal


Posted by jakewalters

Haha great stories in this thread. I spent a majority of yesterday walking around Chicago and was asked by at least five different people for money. I had a $10 bill and my credit card on me, that was it. Told each one simply "Don't have any cash on me, sorry brother," and continued my day. Simple as that.

Kind of funny, one of them came up to me and went to shake my hand. The first thing he said was "Don't worry, I ain't tryin to rob you," which made me think "Holy shit, is this guy trying to rob me?"

Moral of the story: If you want anything from someone, don't walk up to them and say you aren't going to harm them. It's like me approaching a girl at a bar and introducing myself by saying "Don't worry, I ain't tryin to rape you."



welcome to Chicago!! Going to a Cubs game you are practically raped by the 40 year olds trying to raise money for their high school football team or the guy crying because he just became homeless even though you can tell hes been homeless for a while. I just walk by and keep my hands in my pockets and smile.

The ones I will give money to are the ones that have the balls to admit what they want the money for.



Yeah, when I first got here I just ignored a homeless dude who was asking me for money walking into a Potbelly's sandwich shop and he sarcastically (I think) yelled "ENJOY YOUR LUNCH, THANKS A LOT" at me. Now I just tell them I don't have cash. The homeless people in Florida don't have enough energy to scream at you if you ignore them, the heat probably takes it out of them. My heart does really go out to the homeless people here though.. this cold is not something I would want to fuck with whatsoever.

On a more positive note, did it snow out where you are Chris? We got our first snow of the year here last night and it delighted the shit out of my Floridian ass.
airkerma
11/13/12 1:21:04PM
On a semi lighter note, in addendum to the posts about being asked for money, in Cinci there was a guy with no legs in a wheel chair who would ask for money via cardboard sign. The sign read: Give me money or I'll kick you in the face.
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